Another Day in the Life of
by Nemesis13
Summary: Harry Potter's troubled life is further complicated as his gender is changed due to a shoddy potion and a rebounding blood seal, she is the only one not surprised at this, after all its her luck. Now known as Lilly she must struggle containing her now unfettered magic while at the same time embracing her Slytherin aspects in a bid to control her own destiny. Mix of Drama and Comedy
1. Chapter 1

_**Edit 23/10/2014-This is a fun little gender bender fic that as the original AN notes was conceived from consuming egregious amounts of alcohol with friends and us all being nerds, my characterization may be a bit off at times simply due to the fact that this starting out as nothing more then a oneshot that's grown into oh so much more. So with that in mind, enjoy the ride as we follow Lillith Potter and her happily dysfunctional family as they turn the magical world upside down for their personal amusement.**_

_**Original AN-So one of my best friends showed up last night to cut my hair while my buddy Jake was over and we all got talking about Harry Potter, I got very, very drunk and woke up with this written. Sooo...enjoy?**_

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><p>Harry Potter was having a rather rotten week, be it from the simpering ministry flunky running his Defense Against the Dark Arts classes, the unending line of detentions he'd accumulated over the past few days for speaking the truth about Voldemort, or having to deal with his best mates rather mercurial temperament, it all ended with him unhappy. So when he walked into his potions class it was not really a surprise to anyone when he reacted to Malfoy's insistent needling, the reaction though was memorable.<p>

"Hey Potter, looking good, what did you do all summer, cry like a woman and cut yourself?" Ah Draco, now there was a case study on daddy issues, not really deigning it necessary to respond to the barb Harry attempted to move around the blonde ponce and his bookends. Crabbe and Goyle were as imposing and vapid as ever, he really had no intention of dealing with the illiterate trio but they moved as a unit to block his and Hermione's path to where Ron was seated. Gritting his teeth Harry finally let the summers worth of abandonment fueled rage bleed through,

"Malfoy...get the hell out of my way before I demonstrate in person what I did to your darling dark lord when I was an _infant_, now bloody MOVE!" None of his targets really reacted to the statement, for her part Hermione tensed up a bit and dropped her hand to her wand, bless her paranoid heart. Sneering again in a manner that just annoyed Harry further the blonde retorted,

"Are you trying to take the piss out of me Potter? You can't do anything to me, my father-" and with that Harry finally had it, he just couldn't take it anymore, utilizing every enraged abused and mistreated feeling he had wound in his psyche he performed an act of wandless magic that would have caused Merlin to applaud. All at once Crabbe and Goyle went flying to either side of the room seeing as they were inconsequential to Harry's ire, Malfoy though was thrown to the front of the room his robes melting around him as his hair turned a rather tasteful shade of violet.

A tableau of glowing magics spun around the room as Harry vented his rage, no one not even Dumbledore could have reeled in the boys anger at this point, after a time the miasma of energy bled off and the room was left silent. As the storm settled Harry was still standing there quivering in fury with Hermione grasping his arm staring at him in awe, they were both now occupying a rather impressive crater in the stone floor and a certain blonde was magically crucified on Snape's blackboard stark naked and sporting a rather impressive indigo mullet.

"Potter...forty points from Gryffindor for assaulting classmates," Snape, of course it had to be Snape, always waiting in the shadows to bestow blame on those defending themselves against his charges. Not really believing he was about to do what he had planned he turned to the greasy git and snarled,

"Fuck you Death Eater," and with that he grabbed Hermione's wrist and pulled her with him to his seat next to Ron. Every eye in the room was on him, no one knowing quite how to react, Snape pulled his wand out and in a few motions brought his dungeon back to normal while also freeing the ferret from the blackboard whilst transfiguring him new robes. No luck on the mullet though, pity that. Eventually Snape's vitriol laddened gaze met Harry's and he cooly said,

"Fifty points from Gryffindor for disrespecting a professor," Ah, that's how it was, meeting his gaze Harry just smiled grimly as he replied,

"What part of 'Fuck you Death Eater' did you not understand, Professor?" Opening his book he ignored the world around him as Snape said he'd involve the Headmaster, 'Good, about time the old man paid some bloody attention to what was going on around here'. Out of the norm Hermione partnered up with him and kept casting concerned looks his way, eventually sighing He gave in and asked her what was wrong.

"What wrong?! You're having to deal with Heinrich Himmler's reincarnation as a Defense Professor, you spent the entire summer feeling as if you were abandoned by all your friends after witnessing a classmate being murdered by the man who betrayed your parents, and then you perform an act of wandless magic that would leave every witch in existence hot and bothered all while openly mocking an authority figure?!" Her breathy rant ended when she ran out of air, huffing a moment she just shook her head as she got to work on their project.

He really hadn't the foggiest idea what he was working on, at this point Harry was seriously just tossing shite into his cauldron to occupy his mind, after a few moments of silence Hermione finally continued, "I'm worried about you Harry, I'm very worried about you and I don't know what I can do to help. You seem quite intent on making things difficult for yourself." He really didn't have anything to say to that, honestly she was right what _could_ she do when all he wanted from life at the moment was to beat Snape and Voldemort to death (in that order) with his bare hands.

Mulling this through his mind he didn't notice Malfoy glaring at him from the next table over, really it wasn't his fault, the prats newly acquire violet lockes cowled most of his face in shadow anyway. With a rather impressive feat of silent magic Draco cast several items into Harry's cauldron while he was talking to his friends, Harry glanced up at the bubbling piece of cookware for a moment before shrugging and moving on. As class wound down Harry took a sample from the cauldron and walked up to Snape's desk placing the wax sealed vial before the Death Eater.

"Drink it, Potter," the man rather sardonically stated, Harry scrunched his face up and was about to deliver another rather poignant 'Fuck You' when the professor continued, "Its a simple 'Pick Me Up' potion Potter, if you messed this up you're truly pathetic." Grimacing Harry decided to throw in his obligatory insult regardless of the situation,

"Fine whatever you greasy git," unknowingly earning more points from his classmates with this statement Harry downed the vial and tossed it on the desk letting the glass shatter, seriously what did he care at this point. As he walked away his stomach began cramping and he fell to his knees, after a moment he began screaming in agony, he'd experienced something like this before, a transfiguration like polyjuice potion. But this was different, it felt like he was being torn apart at the cellular level.

As the world spun around him he fell on his back and continued to scream, oddly enough it sounded like his voice was lowering in pitch the entire while, eventually the world swirled back into focus and after a while he managed to pull his long raven tresses from his face. Wait...what? His hair was now at least a quarter meter longer then it had been before and as he looked at his hands he realized his fingers had thinned and were a bit longer as well, glancing over his breasts he saw the class staring at him in shocked horror.

Wait. His breasts? What? Trying to stand shakily both Ron and Hermione rushed up to him trying to help him balance, "What...what happened?" he asked in far too light of a tone, his friends exchanged a glance then Ron looked at him completely befuddled,

"Mate yer umm...yer a girl." Oh, lovely, why not, so with that he was dragged to the hospital wing and was thrown underneath the microscope...wait no, wizards didn't do that science thing, thrown under the wand of Madam Pomfrey. Hermione and Ron never left his side and even poor Neville stood their glancing at him in horror, more then likely thinking it could have easily been him who fell to Snape's vengance.

"It wasn't the Professor you dullard!" Hermione snapped at Ron, she looked truly frustrated as she kept leafing through her potions book like it would answer all their problems. "Seriously Harry wasn't paying any attention to what he was brewing, for crying out loud he threw in a crocalisk gizzard!" Nodding Harry shook his..her...ugh...whatever, HER head and agreed with the young woman,

"She's right Ron I wasn't doing anything even remotely related to paying attention, sure Snape forced me to drink it but he had no idea what the hell I concocted...I seriously doubt _anyone_ does really." Neville for his part looked a bit indignent,

"Now come on Harry...errr...do we still call you Harry? Anyway we all saw Sn..Snape force you to take that potion, he didn't even LOOK at it before he dosed you, thats some serious negligence right there." Hermione nodded at that not arguing the point, the Professor had no right to force Harry to take the potion and the end result rather proved that point, with a huff the bookworm slammed her tome shut as she looked at her best friend apologetically.

"I'm sorry Harry I have nothing, I think you may have accidentally created something that no one has a counter for," Harry shrugged her shoulders at this, really it didn't surprise her at this point, seriously as danger and violent filled as her past four years had been why should she be caught off guard by something as mundane as a gender change? After a while Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey showed up both looking solemn,

"Harry..." the old man started with a concerned tone, he glanced to the trio accompanying him but he quickly realized they'd know what was said regardless and continued, "The potion you made was...unique, none of the staff are quite sure what went into its brewing and I'm sad to say you are more then likely stuck in this form for the foreseeable future, I'm sorry my boy, I truly am." Grunting in annoyance Harry dropped from the bed and paced a bit, eventually she just rolled her eyes and said,

"Just keep Malfoy and his creeps away from me and we'll be set Professor, I doubt this is permanent but even if it is there isn't much we can do about it...did it to myself anyhow..." Shrugging she continued "I suppose I should pick a new name...just call me Lilly for the time being, sure mum would like that..." Dumbledore looked at her with an appraising gaze then nodded knowingly.

"Very well young lady, you'll obviously have to be transferred to the female quarters but that can wait for now, I'm sure your friends have some acclimating to do so I'll leave you with the promise that I will try to fix this, take heart in that." Once the professor left, and Pomfrey suitably babied her Lilly was released in the care of her friends, pausing a moment she closed her eyes in consternation before speaking,

"Ron...Neville...I need you two to go ahead of me and move my stuff into the common room so I can switch dorms, I'll meet up with you in a few." Nodding solemnly the two young men walked off, looking over to Hermione Lilly smiled sadly, "I need something from you that is going to put a very real strain on our friendship Mione." Looking concerned the bushy haired girl cocked her head in question, sighing Lilly continued, "Umm...you're going to have to explain that whole menstrual cycle thing to me..."


	2. Chapter 2

**So...well honestly I meant for this to be a one shot since you know...drunk writing and all, but I recieved a bunch of positive PM's and I kinda like the idea of where I want to take this so if I get enough decent reviews who knows. This is mildly more serious then the last chapter because I'm building up Lilly's new persona, if enough people care I'll keep writing and keep a good balance of drama and humor. Oh also one of my favorite Discworld characters makes a cameo so enjoy!**

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><p>It was an ashen faced Lilly Potter who finally made her way to the lavatories a short time later, the information overload she had just received had deeply unsettled her; really hadn't needed Hermione to go into such graphic detail on how her new plumbing worked. Although truth be told her inner Marauder was slightly curious if her long time friend hadn't been pranking her since the bushy haired bookworm already had diagrams and color coded graphs at ready.<p>

Thats a lark, Hermione taking the Mickey out of her with paperwork...shit...it fit...good show really. Sighing as she entered the room while vaguely recalling it was Moaning Mertle's personal haunt Lilly came to dead stop in front of the sinks,

"Nothing for it, blokes won out women got the raw deal in this whole puberty thing..." realizing that she did not in fact know where to go from here she turned the faucets on and dunked her face into the basin of water.

After a few moments she pulled her head up and turned the water off, glaring down into the draining sink she wiped her face dry with a corner of her robe while pulling her annoyingly long hair behind her ears. Standing there contemplating her lot in life she allocated herself a few more moments of glowering time before glancing up into the mirror and felt her heart skip a beat.

She'd been operating on the assumption that she still looked like Harry, just you know, with lady bits, the end result was completely opposite of what she'd expected, "Wow...I'm hot..." Ok, not exactly the most humble thing to say but seriously, from the raven hair, pale heart shaped face and emerald eyes that now held a rather creepy inner glow she was quite striking, still had that damn scar though.

Realizing that her glasses didn't fit the new her she pulled out her wand and went over her options, concentrating she began to form an image in her mind. Frames had to go, and the round lenses were kind of tacky truth be told, so after a few deft transfigurations she was now sporting a rather tasteful pair of rimless lenses.

"Can't believe it I've been a girl for a few hours and I'm already accessorizing, ugh..." Looking at the striking young lady in the mirror a morbid thought hit her...she was now an attractive girl in a school filled with clueless pubescent boys, experience verifiying this. Shuddering at flashbacks of Harry's bungled attempts at wooing Cho Chang last year Lilly now had the uncomfortable realization that her real problems had only just begun.

Because simply put, Harry Potter had had many worries in his life and while they usually involved him being pushed around, abused, or more often then he liked nearly killed, one thing he had never had to deal with though was being pursued by romantically inept teenage boys.

With a groaned "Bugger me," she dropped her head and marched off to the dorms, best to just get this crap over with, maybe she'd get lucky and the common room would be empty, she actually had to stop and cackle at the idea of having good luck for a few moments before moving on. It soon was proven that her luck as Lilly Potter held true to Harry's standard, which is to say on the short end of abysmal, much to her annoyance it appeared that the entirety of Gryffindor was camping in the Common room to get a look at her.

The mixed bag of reactions was...disconcerting, from some of the girls she was getting looks of jealousy (which was stupid), from the boys looks that could only be considered lecherous (which was unsettling), and in between all that those exuding honest curiosity and sympathy (which was appreciated). Finally meeting Hermione's apologetic gaze next to the supportive Neville and Ron she gave a half hearted shrug and leaned against the door frame. 'What to say...well...being blindly courageous like a Gryffindor had gotten her into this mess so lets play this like a Slytherin and use some deflection.'

"I suppose you all heard so really I guess there's no point hiding it, I did in fact tell Snape to fuck off to his face, twice, sorry for the lost points." For once in her life she'd said the exact right thing at the right time, the collective took a breath then broke down into peels of laughter, looking back to her friends she received a nod of approval from Hermione and wide grins from the boys.

'Can work with that,' she thought with a smile, walking into the room proper she realized suddenly she was a bit taller then Harry had been, not an unwanted trade off but certainly unexpected, filing that away for later she began pacing back and forth while twirling a lock of her hair. Looking back at the now smiling crowd she continued whilst shrugging again, "I also stripped Malfoy down to his birthday suit and gave him some...fabulous hair care advice free of charge since I was such a giving person, lost points for that as well." Dean Thomas snarked out with,

"The poofter looks like one of the anorexic 'hunks' on the back of my mum's cheap romance novels, well played Harry!" As the laughter renewed she felt the urge to hug the hell out of the muggle-born for that opening, giving him a lopsided grin she drawled,

"Well I aim to please my target demographic Dean," more laughter, ah good stuff, finally letting her smile drop she fell into the chair that had obviously been left for her and just sat there for a few moments facing her entire house. Rubbing her face and growling in frustration she finally threw her head back and continued, "Ok, so long short, I seriously messed up a potion and this body is the end result of that mistake.

"I already went over this with the Headmaster and Madam Pomfrey, this is due to my own negligence and Snape being a condescending arse," Neville and Ron threw in a 'here here' but she received an annoyed glare from Hermione, Lilly inwardly snorted at that, 'baby steps dear, baby steps'.

Removing her glasses she began rubbing her temples slowly as she collected her thoughts, getting no inspiration she plowed on, "As it stands so far all we can tell is this...transformation is permanent, outside of some very odd magic levels I've nothing abnormal in my system...outside of missing my Y-chromosomes of course." That got a chuckle from the older muggle-born but looks of confusion from all else, 'Ah well can't please them all.'

"So, just work with me here, please? I know we've had a rocky start with the Tom Riddle...errr...Voldemort thing but we have Umbitch to deal with on top of all our normal harrowing school year drama so...lets all just try to play this by ear." The collective winced at the name of the self styled Dark Lord much to Lilly's annoyance, and while it was obvious they wanted more they also appeared to sense her desire to avoid further questioning for the time being and began dispersing. Thank Merlin for small miracles, eventually Fred, George, Ginny, Neville, Ron and Hermione crowded around her, the twins starting in first, of course,

"My my Harry, we had no idea you were so against courting our lovely Ginny," twin trade off,

"That you'd go through all this effort to make yourself available to the simple Ronnikins," Insert indigent yelp and a disgusted 'Hey!' here, the devious duo of course continued unabated.

"Of course you could have secretly been desiring the pair of us,"

"Indeed oddly suspicious George, I do believe dear Harry was supporting some rather off fantasies," Smirking at the twins antics she resumed rubbing her temples for a moment before making eye contact with Fred, winking she said,

"Sorry George, Fred's the pretty one and I can't go for a set of defective twins," getting a final laugh out of all her friends she stood and looked them over, eventually she muttered, "Thanks for sticking with me guys, but right now I need some sleep." They all nodded in understanding as she was escorted to the girls dorms by Ginny and Hermione, once she reached the offered bed Lilly fell face first into the covers and was out before anything could be said.

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><p>Nearly the second the young quartet had left Madam Pomfrey's care Albus rushed out of Hogwarts to check on something that had been tugging at his consciousness ever since Harry's unfortunate transformation, as he apparated in front of 4 Privet drive he silently thanked his foresight to cast a disillusionment charm. Muggle emergency service vehicles were surrounding the smoking crater that once contained the home of the Dursley's, looking about it was obvious what had happened and he really couldn't help muttering to himself.<p>

"Excellent job Severus, truly excellent, try to belittle the boy by making him drink an unknown potion in a room where he already vented enough wild magic to charge a blood seal rebound..." That was the crux of the matter really, Harry becoming Lilly broke the protection charm his/her mother placed on them while simultaneously unanchoring more then a decades worth of pent up blood magic. What Dumbledore couldn't quite figure out just yet was _where_ that energy had gone, with a rebound of this magnitude it would have to go back to person who had been leaching their magic, and since young Lilly's head hadn't exploded well...

Seeing as there was nothing else he could do here he apparated to the nearest connection to the floo network and re-entered his office, pacing back and forth he kept trying to figure out how to protect Lilly without the ancient magics he'd had her under for nearly a decade and a half. What truly worried him was that if his growing suspicions on the nature of her scar were true then the buffer of Lily Seniors sacrifice had offered was gone.

Now contemplating that the newly minted young ladies mind was being infected by a soul fragment of one of the most vile and misguided wizards of the day he was soon interupted by the unannounced arrival of Severus. Meeting the Headmaster's gaze the potion's master shook his head as he sat in one of the open chairs,

"I know you have words for me for my actions and for once...I may have to admit I overstepped my bounds, things have...happened to the Dark Lord that we need to discuss, please summon Professor McGonagall she'll need to hear about this as well since it involves one of her students." That...that was not expected from the normally condescending and demanding man, especially with anything involved with young Harry...or...now Lilly...maybe things hadn't changed that much after all.

"Very well Severus, am I to assume this involves what happened to young Miss Potter?" Wincing at that the man nodded, shifting his twinkling gaze to Fawkes he bade him retrieve his Deputy Headmistress as the pair sat in uncomfortable silence, eventually Minerva entered the room and began staring daggers at her fellow house head. Taking her seat next to Severus they sat in uncomfortable silence before the black haired man spoke,

"As you are aware Headmaster shortly after Lil...Miss Potters unfortunate accident I was summoned to attend the Dark Lord, what I arrived to could only be described as utter chaos, well over half of Malfoy Manor has been leveled by some massive magical attack that seemed to be centered directly on the Dark lord." Both of the elder professors peaked up at this bit of news, popping a lemon drop into his mouth Dumbledore motioned for the man to continue, shifting uneasily while glancing at Minerva Severus sighed then dropped his head into his hands.

After a few moment he lifted his head and resumed his tale, "It would appear that a rather violent rebound from a broken blood seal had hit the Dark Lord and mangled his body, while he's recovering he's suffered some...mutations to his form that no one can explain. The other Death Eaters are scrambling to do damage control but not even Lucius' gold is going to make the Auror's ignore half his mansion being blown apart, I'm sure this has something to do with Miss Potter but I'm not sure how." Albus sat there dumbfounded, after a moment he began chuckling shaking his head in realization,

"The magics Lily placed on Harry upon her death were fueled by a blood seal placed in his Aunt and Uncle's home, and yes I'm aware that its a darker magic that causes instability in ones temperament, its why I always gave him such leeway." Minerva interupted him as her Scottish ire began to build,

"You put a blood seal on an infants magic core!?" Sighing he nodded, really he couldn't defend himself much here, she was right to be angry,

"Indeed I did Minerva, at the time the shield Lily placed on Harry was the only thing protecting him from Tom, we had no idea if he was truly gone and I was short on options, bringing him back to the wizarding world and leaving him with the Longbottom's or Bones' as his parents wished would have only made them targets. And considering what happened to Frank and Alice..." She didn't have a response to that, feeling his years once again he continued with his theory,

"'Bone of the father, unknowingly given, you will renew your son. Flesh of the servant, willingly given, you will revive your master. Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken, you will resurrect your foe.'" These are the words spoken by Peter Pettigrew as he resurrected Tom's body..." He was met with silence as both his Order members came to the same conclusion, nodding he popped another lemon drop while smiling slightly. "I'm unsure how much you two know about muggle science's but in the study of genetics there are two sets of chromosomes for a male, XX from the mother and XY from the father..."

Pausing to really consider the implications he couldn't help but laugh at the situation, "The magics that Harry had running through his body must have sensed the rebound and did the quickest thing they could to his already transforming form...they overwrote the Y, no longer being the prime caniditate for the rebound..." Severus stared at him for a moment then nodded, leaning back in his chair he crossed his arms then gave a half hearted sneer,

"Well...that would explain why the Dark Lord has a rather smashing set of tits now," it took nearly a minute for Minerva to get the lemon drop out of the now chocking headmasters throat.

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><p>Lilly...did not know where she was, the wide open space glowing a faint white, there were...bubbles? Orbs? Floating about and as she touched them she soon experienced Harry's memories, interesting to say the least. Walking about she couldn't help but notice something as she reviewed her previous life, Harry either went from having complete control over his mind or being as idiotically impulsive as Ron; she had to pause at that, when did she start thinking so poorly of her best mate? Filing that away for later she looked past the bubbles and saw something dark on the horizon, and being the inquisitive witch that she was (that hadn't changed) she walked toward the shadows until she noticed the pulsing black tendrils bleeding from the shadows wrapping themselves around her memories, slowly pulling them in.<p>

In the center of the shadowing mass was quite possibly the ugliest baby she'd ever seen, and considering she'd bore witness to Dudley's childhood photos more then once that was saying something. Not really knowing what to do about this black mass she touched one of the tendrils and immediately pulled her hand back hissing in pain,

"Ok note to self, don't touch the pulsing coalesced shadow eating your memories, its bad," Hearing a laugh behind her she spun around and was met with a strange sight, a young woman wearing a black Victoria era dress leaning against a scythe was grinning at her in amusement. She was pretty in a skinny way and her head was topped with long frizzy white hair sporting a single black locke, the woman addressed her after moment,

"Well, at least you've some common sense in that noggin of yours, 'ello I'm Susan and I'm your Death for the evening." Well...bollocks...cocking her head Lilly asked,

"So you're hear to kill me?" Blanching the young woman stood up strait letting her scythe vanish, waving her hands frantically she rushed towards Lilly apologizing profusely,

"No no no dear girl no! I'm your _Death_ as in your assigned Reaper, Granddad asked me to take this project on special since he likes your spunk and Mr. Riddle over their tried to cheat us a soul, cheeky bugger thought mutilating himself wouldn't be noticed." She scoffed at that while rolling her eyes, "Yeah Death isn't going to notice that you didn't show up on your Death Day, real clever, anyhow I'm here to give you some advice since you've already nearly died once today."

Looking Lilly up and down she nodded in approval, "Well, you could have definitely done worse, nice subconscious magic by the way, that deconstruction potion should have turned you into something resembling bloody giblets but you managed to hold yourself together and do what was needed to protect yourself from that rebound. Honestly Granddads fairly impressed and willing to give you some leeway dealing with this...thing..."

Deciding to file the strange woman's ramblings away in the same mental folder as "Why do I suddenly think Ron's a git?" Lilly nodded and glanced over at the ugly baby,

"So...the hell is that?" Susan's pretty face scrunched up in disgust as she spat out the answer,

"A Horcrux, one of the most vile and evil of all magics, it is essentially the end result of a rather complex ritual that utilizes the most damaging thing to the human soul, namely cold blooded murder, and using its destabilizing effects to bind a fragment of said soul to an object. This prat made six so far but I'm sure he's shooting for seven, you dear girl are an unintentional soul anchor for one of the most disturbed wizards seen in centuries." Feeling sick Lilly stared at the...thing that was Voldemort and was suddenly very glad she didn't have a physical body necessary to throw up.

"Ok...how do I get rid of it?" Smiling Susan held her by the shoulders and massages them a moment before pulling her in a hug, for some reason being embraced by Death was one of the most calming things she'd ever experienced.

"Now now don't worry, I'm here to help, if Granddad just wanted us to Reap the dark tosser I'd have done it already, no what we're offering is something a bit more...morally ambiguous." Intrigued Lilly broke the hug and gave her a calculating gaze, not sensing any deception she nodded her head gently, smiling Susan continued, "Well as it stands without your lovely Mum's protection (By the way she says 'ello and she doesn't mind the new you just don't make the sex change thing a habit) this bastard is trying to devour your soul. What I'm offering is a role reversal, you consume Voldemort's soul fragment and gain all his knowledge acquired at the point of this Horcrux's creation as well as some of his magical core."

Now that..._that_ was intriguing, Harry would have thrown that idea away in a moment but Lilly...hmm...ever since the accident she just felt more in control, more...in charge of her thoughts and she liked the idea of not only spiting the bastard that killed her family but learning all he had to offer without direct interaction. Meeting Susan's appeasing eyes she gave the Reaper an impish smirk,

"What do I have to do?" Laughing Susan hugged her again then smiled as her scythe reappeared in her hands,

"Simply put I'm going to cleave through his shields and you have to tackle him and overpower his will, you have a bit of an advantage since his magical core is already being strained from that blood seal rebound blowing his arse up. Gonna warn you love, you're going to be absorbing the very essence of one of the most corrupt mortals to walk this world, until you fully...heh...digest it you're going to have to resist some of the dark urges that come along with it." Nodding Lilly took a deep breath and then let it out, giving the Horcrux a wide toothy grin Susan pulled the scythe back and cleaved through the approaching tendrils.

The wave of destruction that followed in the attacks wake was honestly fairly memorable, as was Voldemort's screams of agony, not thinking twice about it both her Slytherin and Gryffindor outlooks grinned in anticipation of the coming battle, just as she was about to grab the terrified looking bastard monster baby she began to cackle,

"This outta be fun."

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><p>Hermione Granger was a very terrified young witch at the moment, her best friend who up until this morning had been a rather cute young man and was now currently a beautiful young woman was screaming in agony and attempting to thrash about even with magic binding her limbs in place. Little more then an hour after she'd passed out Lilly had begun screaming, it had taken all three Quiditch chasers to hold her down until Professor McGonagall could arrive.<p>

The thrashing and screaming had of course caught the attention of everyone but it was the steady stream of smoke coming from her burning scar that garnered the most attention as they levitated the girl to the infirmary, pacing back and forth with Neville and the Weasely's all they could do was wait. After a time they noticed a change, for the first time in hours there was not strangled screaming from their friend, there was silence, then...laughter, nearly insane laughter.

Ignoring everything she personally believed about obeying authority figures she rushed into the room followed by her friends to see Lilly's back arching as she continued to cackle, Madam Pomfrey, and Professors Dumbledore, McGonagall , and Snape watching on in shock as black ichor pored from her scar. Soon after a smoky thread flew from the scar and took the face of a man screaming in agony, Lilly's eyes then snapped open, the brilliantly glowing emerald orbs watching the smoke dissipate in fascination,

"Fuck you and the Horcrux you rode in on Tom!" she giggled, and then she threw up and passed out for good.


	3. Chapter 3

**So...this plot bunny is running away from me...PLEASE REVIEW! I have tons of new followers which is awesome but I really want to hear your opinions! Also, going for a manipulative but not evil Dumbledore, he's just too set in his ways. Also the 'Lord Potter' thing isn't new but any of you who read my Code Geass fics know I enjoy writing about the nobility, its a cop out for personal preferences I know.**

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><p>As Lilly came to once again in the glowing white expanse the first thing she noticed was it all had a bit of a gray tinge to it at the moment, odd, and for reasons she couldn't quite explain she felt...full... Finally clearing the cobwebs from her mind she realized that her head was laying in Susan's lap who was softly stroking her brow, groaning while she sat up she held her suddenly aching skull and tried to recollect just what in the bloody hell had happened.<p>

Susan though was quite content filling her in, "You know love that was quite possibly the most brutal beat down I've ever seen a soul dole out, I'm impressed by your aggression and Granddad's fairly pleased as well, he hates it when wizards put decimal points in his soul quota so faster we take out these Horcruxes the better." Right...Tom, she'd confronted his soul fragment and...oh ick, right she ate the damn thing, the full feeling was probably her magic core expanding,

"Well, that was a...unique experience..." Susan rolled her eyes at this,

"You've a gift for understatement love, I'm hoping Harry's rather humble personality takes a back seat in the near future, the chaos you're capable of dropping on your backward medieval world is just too good to pass up." Snorting at that Lilly stood shakily trying to fight back the wave of dizziness,

"Yes I'm sure the Boy-wh...the Girl-Who-Lived who is currently being ostracized by the magical world at large can really muck things up for those in power, especially since I'm not me anymore and i have no idea if I even have a vault to pay for this bloody dangerous school...I could really use a drink right about now...wait how the hell do I know what a drinks like...ugh." Susan bemusedly watched her ramble for a bit before interjecting,

"That would be Tom's memories, you'll find that you'll be recollecting things that you've yet to experience, don't worry I've edited the really nasty bits out so no trauma of watching your own attempted murder or the like." Lilly thanked the Reaper for that bit of kindness before the lecture continued, "And don't worry despite consuming some of Tom's power your magical signature won't have changed so all enchanted documents and vows should still recognize you as Harry for purposes of ownership anyhow."

Lilly rolled her eyes while snarking, "Oh, good, I figured my run of bad luck would have left me destitute, par for the course and all that," feeling well enough to begin pacing she tried to keep the waves of nausea under control, something told her she wasn't handling that so well back in the real world. Susan waited for her to stop pacing then once again continued lecturing, 'Merlin she's like a goth Mary Poppins' Lilly thought with a suppressed snicker.

"So anyway as for causing waves well, as things stand now Harry Potter may have been Fifteen, but Lilly Potter happens to have already reached the age of majority, I'm sure you've noticed that you're a bit taller and before you ask your subconscious did it; a desire for your freedom and control of your life and all that aged you. As long as you keep _thinking_ you're seventeen you _will_ be, magic is funny like that anyway since you're the last of the Potter line the normally misogynistic leaders of the Wizarding world really have no choice but to accept you taking your rightful place as the head of House Potter."

Susan's smile began fading as she saw the look of utter confusion on Lilly's face, the formally perky Reaper then asked, "You do realize you're the heiress to the Ancient and Noble house of Potter right? One of the oldest wizard families in existence? Tom's little rampage wiped out the entire line except for you including all the cadet families, you've more money and power then even the Malfoy's..."

Lilly liked to consider herself a creative person, so the tirade of newly forged swear words pouring from her mouth must have been memorable if Susan's now thoroughly amused smile was any indication. Her rant ended after about an hour, huffing she glared into the distance before turning back to her Death,

"Anything else?" Susan tapped her chin thoughtfully, flashing a toothy grin she nodded,

"Yes, an idea to further mess with dear Mr. Riddle, are you aware of the ancient custom of 'Right of Conquest?" Lilly wracked her brain as she put some thought into this, brows raising she then nodded,

"Yeah remember reading about that in a muggle book...or Tom did..hell this is going to get old, anyway it was the justification to conquer new territory before World War 2, err...also 'Hogwarts A History' mentions that if you strike down an enemy thrice then you can claim their titles and lands magically." Susan gave her an appraising look then shook her head,

"That wasn't Tom that was you, I'm starting to wonder how much that damn blood seal was holding you back, anyway you can claim Tom's title, there's really no money left to it but the power in it is strong plus it will certainly infuriate him." Lilly scoffed at that rolling her eyes,

"He's a half-blood orphan from a destitute house, the 'Lord' in his name was partly his ego and a ridiculous anagram, there's nothing to claim." Susan just stared at her a second then made a bunch of hissing noises, thinking the Reaper may have just lost it her meaning suddenly became clear, busting out into gut wrenching laughter it took some time for Lilly to recover. "Oh hell that's right he's the Heir of Slytherin, oh god can I claim that now?" Shaking her head Susan replied,'

"No dear you're going to have to go down into that nasty Chamber of Secrets and make your claim in the center platform, trust me the ancient magics of that house do _not_ acknowledge Tom anymore, getting your arse handed to you by child a half dozen times doesn't really impress." Now very much looking forward to waking up and screwing with all her former puppet masters she rather hurriedly asked,

"Anything else?" Smiling one last time the Reaper stood and gave her a final hug,

"I'm giving you a bit of an information dump so you know whats going on in the world around you, outside of that you're going to be on your own for a bit. You take care now dear, I'll be sure to stop in now and then to see how you're doing...when you go Horcrux hunting I suggest you go after the Gaunt family ring first, its stone is...something of Granddad's and it'll allow us to speak at anytime. Now go get back to your friends, and if I may suggest use a breath freshening charm you've been vomiting for quite some time."

Her "Wait what?" was lost as she abruptly came to in the real world in the middle of a dry heaving, opening eyelids that felt like sandpaper she groggily looked about realizing she was in the medical wing, head hanging over a sick filled bucket. "Bloody hell, I'm here _again_?!" she stated incredulously, suddenly the hands that she hadn't realized were holding her head steady released and a squeaked,

"She's awake!" caused a charge of people to surround her bed, looking over to see that Hermione had been the one keeping her steady she was startled by her red eyed and tear stained face.

"Don't cry brown eyes, it was only a tiny exorcism," there was a forced chuckle from the twins but that was it, Poppy began shooing everyone away from the bed aside from Hermione who was holding Lilly's hair out of the way as Poppy scourgified all the vomit away. After having a few dozen potions shoved down her throat and reassuring everyone she was ok she was given well wishes from her friends as they were banished from Madam Pomfrey's domain.

Hoping beyond hope that everyone would just leave her be until morning she began dozing off, she was snapped out of it by a quiet kindly,

"Miss Potter, a word if I may?" She began screaming in her thoughts 'God! Bloody! Damnit! I do not need to deal with this right now!' Composing herself she opened her eyes and faced her visitor, the first thing to enter her mind was both Tom and Harry screaming '_DO NOT TRUST DUMBLEDORE!', _if those two traits agreed on something, time to pay attention.

"Hello Professor Dumbledore, how can I help you?" His normally grandfatherly visage looked a bit strained as he observed her, as if he was trying to look past the surface and failing, which he was since he was obviously using legillimency and she'd assimilated Tom's rather advanced skills as occlumency. After a moment he gave her a soft smile,

"I was just wondering if you could perchance tell me exactly what was happening to you?" Ah, this, well Harry would tell the whole truth, and Tom would out and out lie, so what would Lilly do? Deciding on a course of action and committing to it she shrugged,

"After I fell asleep I found myself in my dreamscape which usually only happens when I try to focus my occlumency, I umm...regret to say that I failed to put up my shields before I passed out and I guess with everything else that happened today..." Dumbledore looked shocked for a moment before he asked,

"You've studied occlumency on your own?" Double down time, nodding she put on a regretful expression,

"Yeah I read about ways to block out bad dreams and the like and this seemed the best option, I owl ordered the books and been trying to get a handle on it but there was always something blocking my progress," 'Such as a piece of a dark lords tainted soul that you neglected to tell me about'... Nodding thoughtfully Dumbledore asked her to continue, 'Damn, distracting didn't work, time for misdirection.'

"Well there was this...thing in my mind, it kept taunting me talking about taking over my body and claiming it was Voldemort's Horcrux, whatever that is, it attacked me and I tried fighting it off, I..." strategically placed pause and shudder, now continue. "I really don't know how to describe it, fighting that thing was just...ugh...the entire time it just ranted and raved, something about blood seals and rebounds and cursing my name and...well...typical Death Eater threats. Eventually it weakened to the point were I was able to push it out and well," she lifted her hands and gestured to the bed, he let out a humorless chuckle at that,

"Indeed, you did well child, I will let you get some rest, you've been through quite an ordeal and I do not wish to put you through any more trouble, I will talk to you tomorrow." Telling him good night she just sat there staring at the wall contemplating where to go from here; Harry was too honest, Tom was too deceitful, Lilly would be neither, no Lilly's path would be one forged by her alone. She had plans for the future, solidify her friendships, subvert and if possible convert her enemies, and prepare the downfall of her true foes, asking Poppy if she could have Hedwig sent down she began writing letters.

Her letter to Sirius explained everything that happened...everything along with her still gestating theories on why he had been denied a fair trial, she had no evidence yet but that blood seal and Horcrux in her head seriously had her questioning Dumbles motives at the moment. The second letter was to Gringotts and not knowing who else to address it to sent it to the master of the Potter accounts requesting a meeting and a method to get to the bank that wouldn't alert any at the school.

The third letter was about to be written to the Daily Prophet but she paused...no her story needed to go through a source that didn't go through the ministry; mulling the thought she suddenly recalled the blonde Ravenclaw Luna Lovegood, her father ran his own paper and she seemed to like Harry enough, perhaps she'd help for an exclusive. Finishing the last letter she called out,

"Dobby!" in a flash the little house elf appeared at the end of her bed holding a broom,

"Harry Potter sir! What can Dobby be doing for you?!" He shouted in excitement, Lilly's changed sex didn't seem to elicit any response from him so she tentatively asked,

"You've heard I'm a girl now right Dobby? I really can't switch back so if you would can you call me Lilly from here on out?" Dobby nodded enthusiastically at this,

"Yes Dobby heard about your accident! Don't really matter to Dobby though Dobby follows Ha- Lilly Potter by her magic, not how she looks!" Oddly touched by that sentiment she gave the little elf an affectionate smile,

"Thanks Dobby, I was wondering could you give this letter to Luna Lovegood in the morning, discretely? I'd like to talk to her away from prying ears, if she has a response get it to me when I wake up?" Standing ramrod strait with a look of awe on his face Dobby grinned and saluted,

"Of course Dobby can be doing this for Mistress Potter!" Handing him the envelope he vanished in a blink and she was left alone, eventually Hedwig winged her way through the door and landed on the bedknob and let out a petulant 'hoot'. Grinning at her miffed familiar she rubbed the owls head and soothingly said,

"Sorry for neglecting you today girl, you know how it goes, inadvertent sex changes, fending off a dark lords soul then eating it for super powers, lying my arse off to the only real father figure I've ever had, you know, the usual," nipping at her finger affectionately the snow white owl let out what sounded like a "humph" then watched her mistress alertly.

Lilly paused then met the owls amber eyes with her glowing emerald, eventually she asked her familiar, "Hedwig, was Albus filtering through Harry's mail?" The owl actually seemed to display a gesture of disgust with her wings as she nodded once. Growling a bit at that she then asked, "Is he currently riffling though _Lilly_ Potters mail yet?"

Seemingly amused the owl shook her head no, grinning widely she tied both letters to her friends claws, "Brilliant, you are obviously the most intelligent owl ever, please deliver these quickly, if someone tries to stop you returning the post to me ditch it and we'll figure something out, careful now love." Nuzzling Lilly a moment the owl then took flight once again and disappeared down the hall, now thoroughly spent and having nothing else to do Lilly laid back into her covers and fell asleep dreaming of a future where she was in control of her own destiny.

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><p>Lilly apparently slept three days strait after her trials, not exactly what she had wanted, but waking up to Hermione sitting beside her doing homework and Neville and Ron playing chess at the foot of her bed wasn't bad either. Rubbing the crust from her eyes while in the same motion plopping her glasses on her nose Lilly cheerfully said,<p>

"Heyya guys, what did I miss?" All three jumped up in shock and began speaking at once, not even trying to understand the jumble she glanced up at the headboard which was supporting tuckered out Hedwig. The Owl hooted once then offered her leg up with a pair of letters attached, taking them she snatched a sausage off the plate on her bedside and fed her now indulgent familiar. Turning back to her friends she threw them the same story she'd given Albus then lamented her missed classes and homework, this of course scared off Ron immediately. Neville sighed at the redheads quick escape,

"I may not be that great at anything outside of herbology but Ron's running the risk of not graduating if he keeps up that attitude," snorting Lilly glanced over to Neville and reviewed her accumulated memories for a moment before responding.

"Neville, you're the son of two Auror's so damn good at their jobs they were called "Hit Wizards" by the Death Eaters, give yourself more credit please, if not for yourself then for your parents." Looking shocked, frightened, and angry all at once Neville stuttered out,

"Yo...you know about my parents?" Glancing towards Harmione who was now paying rapt attention then looking back to Neville he seemed to relax realizing she was asking permission, he hesitated then nodded once.

"Frank and Alice Longbottom where to be my guardians after my godfather Sirius Black, who incidentally was framed, they were tracked down by Tom Riddles...right Voldemort's, oh stop the shuddering please and be a man, anyway they were the "Dark Lord's" most insane and loyal followers and they captured your parents and tried to torture them with the cruciatus curse to reveal what happened to their lord.

"Obviously they didn't know because the bastard had been banished at that point, they went down fighting so be proud, and don't forget their sacrifice Neville." Pausing to take a breath Lilly stared at the ceiling feeling the images fed to her by Susan (bless that nosy Reaper) begin to peter off, Neville looked shaken and bade his leave, waving it off Lilly covered her face with her arm a moment before Hermione spoke up.

"So...Ha...Lilly how are you doing?" Deciding that this pussyfooting about was rather irritating she opined,

"Oh outside of having a beautiful girl beside my bed rather then in it I'm doing pretty good, you?" There was a squeak then she was smacked with a pillow, grinning she said, "Deserved that, so yeah, I feel terrible, and I have the feeling things are going to get worse rather then better..." Dropping her arm she looked at her worried friend then whispered, "want the real story?" Her eyes narrowed and she nodded sharply, pulling herself from bed Lilly stripped out of the hospital gown and slide on the robes left at her bedside, moving towards the door Hermione whispered,

"Where are we going?" Smiling in return Lilly cryptically said,

"Grabbing my broom then taking a pretty witch for a ride," an hour later found them in Myrtle's loo with Firebolt in hand, walking up to the snake head sink she whispered in parseltongue "_Open";_ as before the entrance was revealed, unlike before they flew down the twisting turning pipe rather then sliding down its filthy surface, soon the cavern echoed with Lilly's whooping and Hermione's screams. Reaching the antechamber she turned to her longtime friend who then placed her fists on her hips and gave her a scolding pout,

"Answers now," and so she spent the next two hours explaining everything that _actually_ happened and the personal belief of her highly manipulated life, there was a long silence before the bushy haired young woman wrapped Lilly in a hug.

"Good god...ok...suddenly feeling a bit silly in judging you," Lilly simply shrugged, what can you do? Letting the tender moment last far longer then necessary they seperated and Lilly pulled out her letters, the one from Gringotts stated that they'd like to meet immedietly and had supplied a portkey, nice. The one from Sirius contained a mirror with the simple words 'Call me" written on the package. Shrugging she looked into the mirror,

"Calling Sirius Black AKA Padfoot the Dreadful!" Not thirty seconds later her shaggy godfather appeared in the mirror looking indignent,

"I'll have you know young lady I'm not dreadful! Merlin you look like your mother...except for the hair...how you doing pup?" Heart melting a bit at the true affection in his voice she gave him a shaky smile,

"Heyya Padfoot, things are a bit messed up, this umm...girl thing is permenant but it prevented the blood seal Dumbledore forced on me from blowing me up, so thats a plus I guess? Anyway you know everything I do, by the way neat mirror," Seemingly amused by her disjointed greeting he grinned happily,

"Well, I'm still you're godfather, so you'll just have to be my goddaughter now, so no worries I won't judge I know you didn't chose this. Now I followed the whole transformation thing but whats this about Albus keeping me from you?" Lilly glanced over to Hermione who looked at her quizzically, sighing she unloaded her personal nightmare,

"Ok...so mum and dad die protecting me from Tom's little rampage, suddenly Dumbles realizes that this kid is protected by an ancient primordial magic that cannot be replicated, but it can only be fueled by a connection to a blood relative. So along comes Sirius who is in some legal hot water due to Wormtails betrayal, he knows damn well you'd never consent to me being sent to the Dursley's and is well aware you'd be proven innocent under veritaserum, so off you go to Azkaban."

Taking a deep breath and seeing both Hermione and Sirius' horrified expressions she pressed on, "Now here's the guesswork, I was supposed to go to Alice and Frank Longbottom after you, but out of the blue they're given the all clear signal and are out in the open for the Lestrange's to gank them, now they're not in the way. Amelia Bones was next but pff, even Dumbles isn't arrogant enough to mess with that hardened War Witch, so while not sealed my parents will was never read, and off I went to the Dursley's to charge Dumbles secret anti-Voldemort battery."

Silence...then, "That...bastard..." She looked up in surprise to see an utterly infuriated Hermione, her fists were clenched and she was practically vibrating from her restrained rage, keeping Sirius in sight she walked up to the fuming brunette and wrapped her free arm around her. After a few tense second she started to relax, eventually Sirius said,

"Ok...your plan? I'm in, claim the House of Slytherin as your own and I'll back you up, plus this is a prank worthy of a Marauder," looking at the mirror she could see he was smiling in amusement, even if it was a bit forced, "I mean really, a Gryffindor claiming control over the Ancient and Noble House of Slytherin, too good. I have some preperations to complete before we move to the next phase...like getting a haircut, you be careful Ha...Lilly, I'll keep in touch."

* * *

><p>As Lilly shoved the two way mirror into a pocket she let Hermione go and walked up to the entrance and began hissing at it, after a moment it began opening,<p>

"Seriously ostentatious Sal...ugh... ok this way 'Mione, mind that smell there's a rotting basilisk down here after all," noticing the foul odor the second the doors opened she cast a bubblehead charm on both of them, the raven haired girl turned around and gave her a heart stopping grin, "Thanks 'Mione, all right lets get this over with."

Walking through the massive chamber and avoiding the desiccated corpse of the snake monster she heard Lilly mutter, "What a waste," as she stared at the dead beast, eventually they made their way to the central platform,

"What do you have to do now?" Lilly faced her again while rolling her eyes,

"I have to go through the entire laws of inheritance...in parseltongue, this is going to be a bit hang tight," Annnnd she hadn't been kidding, even though to Hermione's ears it sounded like nothing but hissing after five minutes Lilly sounded distinctly bored, eventually the chamber filled with a hissing echo in return. Lilly's face twisted in disgust and she let out an irritated "tsh...fine asshole", she then sat crosslegged and looked up to her friend, "Salazar says we have to view all of his 'True Heirs' defeats to take up the Ring of Slytherin...even the one Susan sealed up." Growling a bit she sat next to her friend and grabbed her hand,

"We'll watch it together...ok?" Smiling thankfully Lilly nodded, dropped her head and then they were somewhere else.

* * *

><p>A cloaked figure marched unafraid through the village of Godric's Hollow, confident that he'd finally sealed his destiny of immortality by offing the Potter's and their brat, whistling lightly to himself Lord Voldemort muttered the words,<p>

"Another one gone, another one gone, another one bites the dust, hey I'm gonna get you too, another one bites the dust!" With that the jubilant snake faced wizard pulled his wand out and sent a blasting curse through the Potter's front door, he heard a mans voice distinctly yell, "He's here!" as he pushed his way through the wooden splinters. "I do hope I'm not intruding Jam-" he didn't get to finish his quip as the shotgun blast nearly took his head off, fucking gray wizards and their refusal to follow the rules.

"Heyya goat bugger, guess choosing Wormtail as secret keeper was a bad idea, I owe Mooney twenty quid," with that several more shotgun blasts and curses were hurled towards the Dark Lord, grunting in annoyance and keeping his shields up he finally made it into the building proper. James Potter stood there tossing the shotgun aside grinning like a madman, his dark gaze and glittering eyes showing no fear whatsoever, casting several spells the dashing man transfigured all the furniture into stone knights and sent them towards Voldemort.

As he began firing curses destroying the creations James swung up an old Sten sub-machinegun and unloaded it at Voldemort while casting curses in his off hand, 'I fucking HATE gray wizards, dark wizards drag shit out to torture you, light wizards fight to incapacitate, gray wizards kill you as fast as possible so they can hit the pub, ugh.' Diving out of the line of fire Voldemort threw several more curses and eventually hit James with a nasty case of necrosis, it would be fatal regardless of how this turned out.

As he slid to a stop James looked down at his rotting chest and sighed, "Oh well, guess that's that, gave her enough time though" looking up at Voldemort he grinned and winked at his murderer hitting the detonator in his hand just as the killing curse struck him.

"Fuck," Voldemort spat as the mines lining the room went off at once, shield charm or no the claymores hit him with at least a dozen rounds of buckshot, 'God. Damn. Gray. Wizards. Seriously if it isn't the Potter's with their bloody mines and machine guns its the Longbottom's with their grenades and thermite." Muttering to himself the Dark Lord made his way upstairs and came face to face with a smirking redhead,

"Ello poppet," and before he could dive out of the way she roared "LANCE AUTEM ARDENTEM!" the beam of solid light burned Voldemort's left arm off at the shoulder, cauterizing the wound and sending him flying. Lily Potter began throwing hexes and charms towards him at a pace he could barely keep up with, still grinning she quipped, "Came all this way to kill my baby and you didn't expect mum to fight back? For shame Tom!"

Snarling he spat back, "I already killed your husband mudblood, soon you will follow!" She laughed, she _laughed_ at him, goddamn gray wizards, now on the defensive he backed up until he heard a child's crying, grinning he fired a blasting curse through the wall and ended up in a nursery; seeing the crib in the far corned the Dark Lord grinned and aimed his wand at the child, "Avada Kedavra!"

"HARRY!" the damn Potter woman screamed as he she dove through the doorway and landed in front of the curse placing her hands on the child as she died, rolling his eyes he limped to the dead body and pulled her off the crib, much to his consternation she was smiling. 'Whatever' he thought in annoyance, aiming at the mewling baby he sneered as he cast the killing curse one last time,

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" As the green light left his wand the Dark Lord noticed that room wide rune engraved on the floor that was suddenly glowing, as his curse rebounded Lord Voldemort's last mortal thought was "Oh bugger me."

* * *

><p>The pair came to in the Chamber of Secret's, Lilly was crying but smiling widely, Hermione couldn't blame her, the Potter's went out in a blaze of glory and had a contingency plan that no one could have anticipated. If there was one thing made very clear HarryLilly's unconventional way of handling things was most definitely hereditary, there was hissing and Lilly began laughing, she sobbed then laughed again.

"The Shade of Salazar Slytherin not only holds me as worthy of being his heir he is also posthumously adding James and Lily to his family history because, and I kid you not "That was badass," hehehe..." Hermione finally broke down laughing at this declaration, after several minutes of crying and laughing Lilly stood and offered her hand to Hermione.

Pulling the smaller witch to her feet, she put threw her arms wide and declared, "I, Lillith Alice Potter do so claim the title of Matriarch and Head of the most Ancient and Noble House of Slytherin through the Rules of Conquest and do so take upon myself the roles and responsibilities as Lady of Slytherin, so it is said, so mote it be!" There was a flash of light and Lilly's school robes began to smolder, soon burning green snakes encircled her and in a flash she was wearing a rather fetching bodice and matching green dress. It was slit in several areas and layered to maintain mobility and modesty, a War Witch's robes if there ever was any, a moment later two intertwining silver snakes appeared on her right ring finger forming a double helix pattern, where their open jaws met a gleaming emerald appeared.

"Whoa!" Both witches said in awe, as the outfit finished off in a silver tiara and a pair of fingerless elbow length gloves a bellow went throughout the entire school,

"Lillith Alice Potter has claimed the long dead title of Lady of Slytherin, all hail your new lady, so it is said, so mote it be!" As dust fell from the rafters following the reverberating declaration Lilly looked at Hermione in wide eyed horror."

"Oh Shit."


	4. Chapter 4

**So I suffer from insomnia, comes from working third shift, I'm lucky if I get a few hours of sleep in at once, that being said I wrote an entire chapter last night because of it. Things get pretty light hearted but take a definite dark turn near the end, and I'm touching off on the very nasty reality of child abuse and what Harry went through with the Dursley's. **

**I hate Vernon, he reminds me of a dead friends dad and simply put, I want you to hate him too. Oh and all that goblin stuff, yeah I have no idea I just ran with what worked, the Read-All was borrowed from a few other fics I read months ago so I'm not claiming to have made that up, it just sounded like the perfect gift for Hermione.**

_**Please as always review, even if you want to tell me I'm daft for writing this, I really like hearing what my readers have to say**_

* * *

><p>Pacing back and forth Hermione could only watch as her friend frantically swore at the ceiling in parseltongue, the only bits of English breaking through being the occasional "Shit shit shit shit..." eventually she stopped and looked at the giant snake head statue incredulously.<p>

"You could have said that five minutes ago Sal! Ugh...my ring allows me to apparate through the schools wards, and seeing as how Dumbles is more then likely camping in the girls loo at the moment it might be a good idea to take off," Glaring once again at the statue she hissed a few times and the response sounded...petulant.

"What was that about?" Rolling her eyes Lilly shifted her dress about obviously unused to wearing girls clothes,

"Thanked him for blowing my cover, his response was that he was just excited, typical...all right now that this can of worms is open I need a few things before I make my debut, feel like heading to Diagon alley?" Hermione worried her lip a bit, this would be breaking so...so many rules, on the other hand they were already in trouble and well...the new Harry was kind of intoxicating to be around. Before the accident he'd always been introverted and prone to sulking, now well...'full of life' was a great way to describe her best friend, nodding she smiled in return,

"Sure why not, but only if we can go to Flourish and Blotts at some point," Smirking Lilly let her glasses slide down her nose so her glowing emerald eyes looked over them,

"But of course anything for the lady," for reasons Hermione couldn't quite put words to everything about that made her flush madly, seeing that her mission was accomplished Lilly laughed, grabbed her by the waist and gave her a wink. One second they were in the filthy confines of the Chamber of Secrets, next they were in The Leaky Cauldron, Hermione swayed a bit trying to gather her wits but Lilly seemed completely unfazed.

"I am never going to get used to that," Hermione grumbled under her breath, Lilly just shrugged and walked up to the bar,

"Heyya Tom, I'd like two glasses of firewhiskey on the rocks, oh mix hers with a cola please," the weathered barkeep eyed Lilly warily, pulling out his wand he cast an identifier charm on her and his eyes widened in shock.

"Ha-Harry? Its true?" He stuttered quietly, nodding Lilly in equally quiet tones whispered,

"Yeah Tom it is, no I didn't plan it, yes I'm stuck this way, no I don't really care at this point, as you can see I've had one _helluva_ week so I could really use the good stuff." Nodding unblinking he poured the drinks, sauntering over to Hermione it looked as if the raven haired teen had no idea how many stares she was drawing.

Hermione really really really should put a stop to this, they were both technically underage, but just as with their apprating out of Hogworts it was simply another sin thrown onto the pile, shrugging she sipped her drink and nearly gagged.

"Merlin's beard thats strong!" Lilly laughed as she sipped her glass experimentally, looked surprised as to how smoothly it went down she muttered, "Thank you Mister Riddle," while taking another sip. Hermione glanced about and realized how many of the patrons, mostly men were staring at her friend who remained oblivious to it all, 'She is still such a boy' she sighed inwardly.

Coughing as she took another large gulp of her mixed drink she could already feel her cheeks flushing from the strong alcohol, catching her breath she asked what had been on her mind since they fled, "So Lilly, why are we here? I know you wanted to stop at Gringotts but was there anything else?" Nodding her friend swirled her glass expertly staring vacantly at the wall, eventually pushing her glasses up with a middle finger she replied,

"Yeah, there's a jewlery store that has something I want, gonna need to get a few piercings but it'll be worth the effort, trust me on this one ok? Aside from that I'm going to need to grab a few books on Runes since I'm soooo ditching divination, I seriously have no idea why that course is even taught. Outside of that I need a new wardrobe, hell _Harry_ needed a new wardrobe, only reason he didn't upgrade was fear of the Dursley's finding out he had money."

It should be noted that what Hermione would accuaratly call an evil grin spread across the other witches full lips, "My Death let me in on what happened to them, Petunia ate the rebound while watching telly, nothing left of her, hehe... Vernon and Dudley are shacked up with Marge...three for one sale, I have plans for them..." Her face fell and she had a far away haunted gaze in her glowing eyes before shaking herself free of some memory or another.

Finishing their drinks and now mildly tipsy the two made their way into the Alley proper and went strait to the goblin bank, as they walked up the steps Hermione asked,

"So Ancient Runes huh? If only a very good friend had suggested that you take that two years ago, such a shame you'll be behind the curve," Smirking while eyeing the brunette Lilly scoffed lightly,

"Yes yes from here on out when cute witches give me advice I'll actually listen to it instead of taking the easier route...its so wierd having all this energy half the reason I took such a barmy course to begin with was because of the bouts of lethargy...now we know why but still..." Only half listening Hermione was dealing with the excess blood rushing to her face, luckily Lilly was being introspective and didn't notice any change.

Reaching the doors Lilly held one open for her, walking past the guards and confusing the hell out of them by greeting them friendily she came to a stop in front of a teller, "May your gold flow freely and plentily good sir, may I possibly have the honor of speaking to Director Ragnok? If it would expediate the process please inform him that Lillith Potter is here to see him."

The word Hermione would use to describe the goblins expression would be gobsmacked, definetly gobsmacked, after all how many wizards were friendly with goblins much less greet them in the traditional manner of their people? Rushing off to do as he was bid she glanced at the grinning Lady of Slytherin,

"You serioulsy were paying attention to our history classes weren't you?" Face falling she snorted while shaking her head sending her hair swaying,

"No, Binns is the most useless Proffesor at that school...well...ok Trelawney is but thats not really a class more like "Do your potions homework while listening to Ron whine". No right before third event last term I nabbed a couple history and cultural texts because I kind of want to pass my history OWL this year and Cedric insisted that I'd need outside help, the more I think about it the more it feels like half our classes are designed to fail us..."

Hermione's eyes widened as she inhaled sharply, Lilly turned to her in confusion, "What?" Not thinking about it she quickly pecked the other girl on the cheek while blushing profusely,

"Ahem...umm...I'm very proud of you..." Looking mildly bewildered (but pleased) Lilly shook her head and turned towards the approaching goblin while muttering "Women." The goblin bade them to follow and so they did, worming their way through the twisting corridors they ended up in a rather oppulant office, a dignified looking goblin was behind the desk reading some document or another. Coughing lightly their escort stated,

"The Lady of Slytherin Lillith Alice Potter and..." Lilly leaned in and whispered to him quietly, then he continued, "And her Goldkeeper Lady Hermione Jean Granger to see you sir." Hermione shot her a questioning look but the only response she recieved was one of the glowing emeralds winking, approaching the desk the pair sat in the proferred chairs and waited in respectful silence.

Ragnok looked over his reading spectacles and seemed to gauge the two teens, eventually he removed the lenses and leaned back into his chair, nodding towards Lilly he stated,

"May your gold run freely and plentily Lady Potter," smiling Lillith nodded in return,

"And may your enemies perish in bankruptcy and obscurity Directer Ragnok," Looking very pleased he pulled a folder out and pushed it towards Lilly,

"Here is the culmination of the Potter and Slytherin accounts, the Gaunt's, as you suspected ran the latter family into the ground, thankfully the main vault has not been accessed in well over five hundred years, if you can pass its tests you'll be given free access to what is yours." Looking a bit nonplussed Hermione asked,

"Wait, from what Lilly told me there was nothing left and the last heirs of Slytherin died destitute," Ragnok nodded at this while giving another wide smile, after all if this girl was the goldkeeper of such a polite and knowledgeable Lady then she deserved the courtesy.

"Indeed Lady Granger, but what they burned through was the trust fund similar to what Miss Potter had access to for her schooling, in order to actually retrieve the treasures of Slytherin one must pass a test, a charmed lock that only speaks in parseltongue and you must answer its riddle to prove you are a true heir. Sadly most of the Gaunt 's were...lacking in the cleverness department, inbreeding and all."

"HA!" Lilly blurted out, she began sifting through the Potter accounts and nodded happily, "Ok Director this all looks good, I'll be refraining from claiming the Potter title until its absolutely necessary, last thing I need is more social niceties, I still have access to the vault even if I hold off on the claiming right?" Nodding the goblin motioned towards the Slytherin file,

"Unlike what the House of Slytherin has set up the Heir of Potter can claim what is in their vault before declaring Lord or Ladyship, I will supply you and your Goldkeeper with pouches that will dip from the Potter accounts. If you need muggle money just simply think about what country you are in and the name of the notes used and you'll pull the amount wanted out, as an added courtesy if you manage to open the Slytherin vault the bag will connect to that as well." Grinning widely and eyes glowing happily Lilly stated,

"Brilliant! Thank you director, I have many other plans for the near future and I hope to involve you and the goblin nation, change is coming, long needed change, and I rightly don't care who needs to die for it to happen." The Director grinned in reply, offering his hand he shook hers while nodding his head,

"I do believe it will be memorable, I hope to speak to you soon young Lady of Slytherin, do take care now," with that the pair were lead off to the vaults, turning to Lilly Hemione asked,

"You don't care who dies?" Smirking Lilly tilted her head till it fell on Hermione's shoulder,

"When dealing with goblins its best to follow their cultural norms, casually talking about killing your enemies? Very much in line with the goblin mindset, I want them in my pocket, and I'm well on my way to getting that. That and seriously, you've seen the way the ministry works, are you going to cry if Lucius Malfoy is found dead in a closet due to a failed attempt at auto-erotic asphyxiation?" Caught between a scandalous gasp and massive laugh Hermione settled for coughing loudly as she tried to get a breath in, glaring at her friend she eventually wheezed out,

"You're reprehensible you know that?" Grinning all the wider Lilly let out a quiet laugh as they approached the rail car to the vaults, as they began their descent the dignified Lady of Slytherin amused the hell out of their guide by throwing her hands up whooping the entire way down to the vault. The Slytherin vault was...well much like many things Salazar Slytherin had a hand in, ostentatious, the massive silvered disk was covered in elaborate scrollwork and its entire border covered in interlocking jade serpents. Lilly looked...unimpressed, she shook her head in annoyance and approached the sealed door, cocking her head she glanced to Hermione,

"Well, any ideas or you think I should just start babbling at it?" Thinking a moment the brunette shrugged and nodded, turning back to the door she spoke in parseltongue, eventually one of the jade snakes slithered across the door and faced off against the Lady.

* * *

><p>"<em>If you wisssh to enter the vault of the Mossst Noble and Ancient Houssse of Ssslytherin you mussst passss a tessst of cunning," <em>feeling slightly annoyed at the presentation she drawled,

"_I ssswear if you asssk sssomething about ssswallowsss or my favorite color I'm hexing you," _The snake for its part cocked its head in confusion then continued,

"_It isss a sssimple logic game, for sssome reassson the passt 427 attemptsss have been...lesss then impresssive, now are you prepared?"_ Shrugging she nodded, "_Very well, you and your companion are arresssted for a crime you did not commit, you are told if you both keep quiet your sssentance will be three years in Azkaban, if you accussse her of the crime your sssentence will be reduced to one year and hersss to five. Ssshe is given the sssame offer, do you trussst her to keep quiet or do you accussse her to ensssure your freedom." _Lilly's eyes narrowed dangerously at this, she would _never_ betray a friend, much less Hermione, about to tell the snake exactly where her wand was about to end up she caught herself, thats Gryffindor talk, think like a Slytherin, smirking she had her answer.

"_The entire excercissse is moot, only the sssloppy and unssskilled get caught committing their own crimesss, and only a fool would allow themssselvesss to be blamed for sssomeone elsssesss, this sssituation would never occur because I follow our housssesss creed, 'Do not get caught.'"_ Apparently animated stone snakes can laugh, who knew, after a moment it nodded at her,

_"That of courssse is the right anssswer young Lady of Ssslytherin, do enjoy the ssspoilsss of your conquessst," _and with that there was a massive thunking noise as internal gears pulled the vault pistons aside and the door swung open. As they they got their first look into the vault even their guide looked impressed,

"Well...I see claiming House Potter is going to be a moot point for the time being," The room was practically overflowing with gold coins, rare baubles, and books, oh so many books lined the walls, Hermione let out a jubilant squee as she rushed towards the story high shelves. Shaking her head in amusement the goblin grabbed her attention and handed her a pair of thin leatherbound books that looked a bit like journals,

"These are 'Read-Alls', a gift from Director Ragnok, simply slot them into the shelves and push your magic into it, you'll be given access to any tome in this vault without having to withdraw them, it's for security purposes as well as convenience, only you can read it. Oh and if you activate the charm on the back it will explode if someone else tries to *ahem*, force the issue." Suitably impressed she walked up to Hermione and handed her one of the Read-Alls and explained its purpose, Lilly was fairly certain their was a Hermione shaped dustcloud in the space her friend had occupied a moment before hand.

Chuckling to herself she began exploring the room, her eye caught a glass display case that was missing several items, there was a fine dagger in the center and there were three empty slots beside it, after a moment she realized that two of the slots were meant to hold her tiara and ring. Looking about she found an old piece of parchment jammed under the case, it read

'The Treasures of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Slytherin, Salazar's Enchanted Locket, Band of the Head, Ring of the Family, and the Dagger of Remorse.' Looking down at the dagger she was at first apprehensive picking it up, I mean really what moron just goes about grabbing enchanted items without finding out what they are first? Scanning it a few times with her wand she was a bit nonplussed to see how many enchantments were on the thing, it took her a moment to realize it was a goblin forged blade.

"Niiice" she crooned as she picked it up and was momentarily stunned as she felt something pierce her mind, after a moment the ache faded and she stared wide-eyed at her new toy, the damn thing had just taught her how to knife fight..."Brilliant!" she crowed, this managed to get Hermione's attention for roughly 2.3 seconds then she was back to her Read-All. Harry's short attention span was starting to show but Lilly had a few more things to grab before they bolted, taking a bottomless bag off a shelf she began throwing galleons into it by the handful; the pouches from Ragnok were great but money on hand was always a good idea.

Walking up to Hermione she guided her still reading friend out of the vault and nodded to the goblin to close it off, realizing she didn't have a sheath for the dagger she tossed it into the bag with the galleons and slung it to her thin belt. After the ride back up they walked down the streets significantly richer then they had been forty minutes earlier, a very lucrative day. Hermione was looking about self consciously when Lilly asked,

"Ok brown eyes, whats up?" Looking a bit...apprehensive she said,

"I'm...its just you're getting all these stares looking the way you do and in those dress robes, I'm just...a bit drab in a school uniform..." Snorting she steered the bookworm towards Madam Malkins,

"Well can't have my Goldkeeper feeling like she's dressed tatty, lets get you something nice, if nothing else I'd love to see you in something like you had on during the Yule Ball," Hermione for her part blushed and set her gaze on the cobblestones.

"You remember that?" Genuinely surprised Lilly stopped and gently pressed her friend against the wall, their eyes met as Lilly truly tried to emphasize her point,

"Hermione, my entire fourth year was nothing but a series of attempts by an insane Death Eater to try and kidnap or off me while Dumbledore sat around eating sweets playing with himself, seeing you in that gown was quite possibly the only high point of that bloody stupid ball and one of the only things I wish to remember from that godforsaken tournament, so no self depreciation ok?" Blushing even deeper she broke her gaze and nodded, satisfied Lilly led them into the store and a half hour later a rather fetching muggle-born and half-blood strutted out of the shop with full bags.

"You really didn't have to pay that much for all this, its ludicrous!" Laughing Lilly patted her friends shoulder,

"Look at it this way 'Mione, we're spending Slytherin's gold," after a moment she grinned in return,

"Well in that case why not hit the bookstore?" Rolling her eyes she raised her hands in an attempt to placate the other woman,

"Hold your hippogriffs...god that sounds stupid...anyway lets get my jewelry first, I've always wanted one of these things but well...I really couldn't think of a way to justify it with all the "responsible" adults insisting they manage my affairs." Curiosity peeked Hermione followed her into a very high end jewelry store, luckily they were dressed the part and were practically fawned over, neither girl knew if that was better then being out and out ignored, how irritating.

Looking through the display cases she pointed at a set of simple silver stud earrings and what looked like a tongue piercing, "I'd like two sets of these please," the employee helping them looked surprised, trying to not sound condescending she attempted to dissuade Lilly.

"Ma'am those are...quite expensive, very old and powerful enchantments are used in their forging, if you'd like-" Lilly tapped into the rings memories to see how a pissed off Lady would act, surprisingly it was exactly how she wanted to handle this,

"Listen, I am damn well aware of the babble enchants, I'm well aware of how expensive this is, and I'm equally aware that you get commission off any sales you make, so unless you want me to grab the cute blonde over there to take my money I suggest you drop the attitude and do your bloody job." Both Hermione and the saleswoman looked at her in shock, the woman then frantically unlocked the cases and grabbed two sets of the jewelry, she scrambled to the backrooms to go find something or other while Lilly played the rich bored snob.

"Lilly, what was that all about?" Looking to Hermione she gave a brief flicker of a smile before murmuring so only she could hear her,

"Simply put I am a lady of one of the most ancient and apparently wealthy houses in the magical world, and Harry had to deal with enough condescending store clerks who looked down at him for his second hand clothes, I no longer have the patience to play that game." Seemingly satisfied by this they were soon rejoined by the saleswoman who apologized but since the enchants would bind the jewelry to their magical cores she needed the money first, rolling her eyes she tossed the money pouch on the counter and handed over the mountain of coins.

This action was not lost on the rest of the store but Lilly didn't pay any real attention to that, after a moment looking like a landed fish the saleswoman sorted the fortune out then took them to a backroom then left them to their devices, eventually a heavily tattooed witch came in whistling jauntily.

"Ello lovelies, I'm Vanessa and I'm here to poke holes in your heads," grinning in response Lilly introduced them and sat in the offered chair. "Alrighty I'm aware its a bit taboo to mention anything that goes against the grain but due to previous...incidents I need to ask, which way do you swing? Lilly laughed, glanced at Hermione and smirked, the Vanessa snorted at that, Hermione for her part asked,

"Why does that matter?" Vanessa glanced up from the thick needle she was hitting with a disinfecting charm and absently said,

"Oh the tongue stud, sexual orientation depends on the placement, his or her pleasure and all that, put it in the wrong spot once and the bloke came back screaming everyone thought he was a sword swallower, mind you I did it on purpose because I thought he was a prat but still." Hermione blushed multiple shades of red and seemed to lose her ability to speak, Lilly simply smirked again and let the woman pierce her ears then tongue, goddamn that hurt.

Vanessa cast a few healing charms and the sharp pain became a dull ache, after a few more moments she felt the enchants bind to her, smiling she glanced up at Hermione,

"Je vous le dis jamais que tu es belle?" Looking a bit shocked Hermione gave Vanessa a sharp look,

"That's French, why is she speaking French?" Laughing Vanessa gave Lilly an appraising look,

"Dragged her out here and didn't even tell her what you spent a fortune on huh? Girl must have some faith in you, that my dear is the babble enchant, the earrings allow you to understand any language you hear and the stud allows you to speak it. The more time you spend with a particular language the more natural you sound, eventually you'll fully assimilate the language and no longer need the stud and earrings, very very powerful magic, hence the cost." No longer squeamish about this whole thing Hermione allowed the procedure to be performed on her, she was stuck speaking German for about five minutes before she finally got the hang of it.

"This is...brilliant, thank you so much Lilly I've always wanted to learn new languages! Why did you want it though?" As they were walking out of the store Lilly scowled a bit,

"Wanted them since last year, I could never bloody understand what Krum and Fleur were saying with those thick accents of theirs, but of course Dumbledore told me I couldn't get them, it was "financially irresponsible." Pff, like making a fourteen year old kid fight fucking dragons was responsible..." Face darkening they walked in silence for a time before they reached the book store, leaving Hermione to go be...Hermione Lilly searched out the texts she needed for class. After paying for them and accepting the free shrinking charm she tossed them into her bottomless bag and sighed, Hermione wouldn't want to leave for another hour at least.

Deciding to just go wander about a bit she stepped out of the store and figured she'd grab something to eat, as she passed a shadowed ally she felt a strong grip grab her arm and with a yelp she was dragged into illusioned shadows.

* * *

><p>Hermione had a very specific book she was looking for, she didn't know which one per say but she wouldn't let that deter her search, sifting through the endless shelves she was starting to get frustrated. That is unfortunately the thing about the wizarding world, they were so reliant on magic that simple things like alphabetizing their blasted books was a foreign concept, she was about ready to just give in and ask for help when she found a promising lead. Sifting through the rather sparse collection on none human societies she finally found what she wanted, grabbing the tome on goblin culture she found a dark corner and began reading.<p>

"About time to find out what a bloody goldkeeper is..." the text was incredibly dry even by her standards, either the writer was getting the information secondhand or the goblins sincerely wanted to make it difficult to learn anything about them, could honestly go either way for the devious little bankers. She'd leafed through three quarters of the tome before she caught site of her goal, muttering to herself she read the passage,

"To a goblin nothing is more important then the safety of ones wealth and family, clan bonds are strong and only the most trusted of a clan leaders followers are appointed the title of 'goldkeeper'. It has many connotations though it is usually used in reference to a second in command who has proven their loyalty on several occasions or more often then not the clan leaders lover." Eyes widening to the size of saucers Hermione placed the book beside her and stared off into the distance, she wasn't sure how long she sat there but eventually all she could say was, "Oh my..."

* * *

><p>Lilly was pulled into what she estimated was a shadow illusion that a third year could outdo, the man who grabbed her looked like he may or may not be a shaved gorilla, his blank stupid eyes really didn't help that comparison either. With that thought finished she was forced against the wall and held in place by her throat, the memories of 5 Privet drive were beginning to crack through and she had to force her mental shields into full power before she went into a panic attack. Her eyes were flaring as rage began to take hold of her, 'NO, I'm in charge now, I control my life now, no one is going to hurt me, no one is going to <em>use<em> me again!'.

Before her rage could fully envelope her she heard a distinctly high pitched man's voice coming towards her from deeper in the ally, unlike his associate who looked like he'd been acquired from Rent-A-Thug it looked as if this man styled himself as some sort of dandy. The well kept robes, slicked back hair and thin mustache screamed 'wannabe cultured,' to Harry he screamed trouble, to Tom he was a bottom feeder.

"Well well little lady, it would appear that you skiving class was a bad idea yes? Now please, your wand?" Before she could say anything the big brute used his free hand to grab her wand and toss it to the ponce, smiling he reached out and held her by the chin and turned her head to face him, "A pretty thing aren't you, well here's the thing, I see you have a Gringotts bag and those have oh so many safeguards on them, so while I may not be willing to risk...helping you carry such a heavy burden, you could quite easily ask for my help."

Scare tactic, imply that your beauty reflects a desire for violence or something more carnal, he's well aware alive or dead the bag will still blow his hands into bits if he tries to force it open, speaking with familiarity, probably not his first time doing this, 'Thank you Tom' she reflected silently. Well this was annoyingly cliche, she could probably wandless stun both these idiots but she really hadn't been looking for trouble, she'd try to go for diplomatic first,

"As..." gasping against the massive hand wrapped around her neck she tried again, "As kind of an offer as that is sir I'm more then capable of bearing such a burden on my own, if you don't mind I'd like to be on my way." Sneering now the thief began stroking her cheek with the back of his hand '..._Cold, dark, broken, don't touch me...don't touch me again Vernon...'_

"Well that is just a crying shame, perhaps we should ask your friend if she can convince you otherwise, I'm sure we could come to consensus," eyes momentarily flaring bright enough to cast the mans shadow on the far wall she growled out,

"You lay one finger on Herm-" chocking off the rest of her sentence as the fist closed around her she nearly blacked out, 'Shit why does trouble always have to find me?'. The man began sneering at her all pretense of civility gone,

"Listen princess you don't make any threats around here, give me your bag or I'll make you _wish_ you had," with that he began pawing her chest and that was it, Harry and Tommy were coming out to play,

"FUCK YOU VERNON!" Mr. Gorilla was slammed into the far wall, every bone in his body broken, stumbling back the ponce hit the ground trying to back away from the lithe girl, her untamed magic whipping around her sending her hair and skirts fluttering. She glanced down at the thug and coolly stated, "Pity, hadn't planned on killing him yet, problem with double casting a bone breaker and banisher, ah well, live and learn. Hmm...no one is rushing over here, so I suppose you were able to cast a somewhat presentable silence charm, good for you."

Shifting her gaze to the man she had dubbed 'Ponce' she pointed a finger at him, "Accio wand," catching her wand she aimed it at the man who was now soiling himself, "Hmm...lets see what you've been up to, haven't really gotten to try my legilimency since I ate Voldemort's soul." Ok yes, she was hamming it up a bit, but the look of horror that spread across the mans face was well worth it,

"Do-don't please!" Sneering in a manner that she honestly thought would have Professor Snape nod in approval she snarled,

"Sorry Ponce you don't get to beg for mercy, yet, _Legilimens!_" As far as her first foray into mental magic went it could have been better, the man had done this many times, usually in muggle areas were no one would notice, as it stood the man had been scoping the store out looking for potential targets when he had seen Lilly pay for the babble jewelry.

Ponce, whose name was actually 'Mitch' had followed through on his threats on other targets many times, rape, murder, and theft, lovely, sighing she stopped casting the spell as the man gasped on the ground. Well this wouldn't do, walking over to the dead gorilla she riffled around until she found his wand, standing up she walked back to him as he struggled to stand,

"Wh-wha-what are you doing?" he managed to stutter out, glaring at him her eyes little more then flickering embers she eventually spoke,

"You know, I could take you to the Aurors, have you thrown through the courts, spend a couple months stint in Azkaban, and you'll be back on the street doing this all over again, just like the last four times. Seriously everything about magical Britain is diseased or broken, so I suppose someone has to clean up. I've heard this curse requires you to really hate someone, that it will actually hurt the caster if they can't maintain and focus that hatred." Smiling coldly she cocked her head to the side, "I'm curious to see if I hate you enough," and with that she flicked the gorillas wand at the Ponce, "Avada Kedavra."

* * *

><p><strong>The babble charm is of course in reference to the to the babblefish of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, I have plans for Lilly to be dealing with some international scenes and I really have no interest writing several thousand lines about her not understanding what the hell is being said...that and I despise working with Google translate, ugh. Also when Lilly starts fighting I want to keep up with the theme that Harry was a squirrely guy who didn't hold still but she now has more grace thanks to all her inherited memories, I'm kinda shooting for a 'Vin' style as seen in Mistborn just not as amazingly OP, there has to be SOME tension right?<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors note at the end of the chapter (Also if you find Lilly's blase attitude about killing people a bit off? Good, you're supposed to) As Always, PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Edit Note: Do you guys like these 3000-6000 word chapters more or do you want me to hold onto them and drop larger chapters every week or two?**

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><p>Lilly paced back and forth staring at the dead bodies at her feet, as much as she tried to will herself to do so she just couldn't give a damn that she'd killed two men. It was a very odd feeling, to think you did something wrong while in same breath not caring in the slightest that you did it. Realizing after a time that she was still holding the burnt out smoldering wand she'd taken from Mr. Gorilla's corpse she tossed it aside and transfigured it into a soda can.<p>

"Ok...well, Hermione will still be doing what she does and I'm still hungry, I don't care in the slightest that I just murdered two crooks and I'm vaguely aware that I'm uncomfortably close to walking the path Tom had taken, albeit for better reasons...what do I do?" The answer to that was her walking into Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour. Grinning at the bearded man she asked,

"Ello Mr. Fortescue, I'd like two chocolate sundaes, with the works please," the friendly man winked at her as he prepared the ice cream.

"No problem little lady, trying to entice someone?" Snorting she rolled her eyes,

"If she would stop being so oblivious yes, otherwise I'm just being a good friend," pausing at that Florean then smirked,

"Do yourself a favor young lady, keep those thoughts away from the purebloods, same sex relationships have a tendancy of ending in violence, backwards bastards..." Giving the man a once over Lilly nodded in return then thought _'Sound advice for sound advice, hopefully he accepts it'.__  
><em>

"I'll do that, and listen you won't believe me, no one does, but that bastard Voldemort managed to bring himself back from the brink, if I were a betting woman I'd guess he'd be springing his buddies from Azkaban soon, you might want to skedaddle to avoid the fallout."

His blue eyes darkened a bit as he appraised her, eventually he sighed, "You honestly believe that don't you Harry?" Abruptly standing strait in shock she could only eye him as he shook his head,

"Of course I know its you, the rumors are flying on what happened to you and you're the only one who's been openly claiming You-Know-Who is back...blast it all... ok if you think the dark bastards returned I'll head home to France, thanks for the heads up young lady, the sundae's are on me, take care." A very bewildered Lilly Potter made her way to her best friend as she shook her head,

"Amazing, I'm utterly befuddled by someone actually listening to me...huh," she mused as she flitted through the crowds, before she could enter the book store a very contemplative Hermione met her out front.

"Oh, hello Lilly, what have you been up to?" Shrugging the raven haired woman handed off one of the sundae's,

"Acquiring sweets for you, not that you really needed help in the deviancy department but I figured since we're disobeying every rule in the book at the moment you'd jump at the chance to defy the dentists in your family." It looked like she was really, really trying to force it away but eventually a smile blossomed on her best friends face as she accepted the treat,

"You are incorrigible, you know that right? Thank you Lilly, I appreciate the effort." Nodding she sat down on an empty bench and Hermione soon followed, neither of them said a word as they tore into their sundaes, eventually Lilly coughed.

"Ok well, confession time, I kinda just killed two people and I don't rightly care that I did so, not sure what to think on that." It said something on the nature of their relationship that Hermione only paused a moment before taking another bite of her ice cream,

"Why?" No accusation, no lecture, just curiosity, damn did she love that witch,

"Tried to rob me, eventually they threatened you and I snapped, killed the first by accident, you'd have been proud, double silent wandless spellcasts, still reeling from that one. Second guy I kinda rammed my way into his brain and saw he planned on raping and murdering me like his other victims and he'd gotten away with a slap on the wrist before, so I just removed him from the equation." Hermione sat there a moment, placed her sundae aside and grabbed the back of Lilly's head forcing her to look into the smaller witch's eyes,

"You're ok though right?" the slightly startled teen smirked sadly as she replied,

"Of course, I'm just wondering if I'm becoming like the monsters I've been fighting with how easy it was, like Lovecraft said, sometimes when you stare into the abyss the abyss stares back." Now looking startled her bookworm friend asked,

"You've read Lovecraft?" Rolling her eyes she retorted,

"Yes brown eyes I've read Lovecraft, and Wells, Herbert, Shakespeare, Adams, Stoker, Shelly, and Sun Zu, when your childhood is spent being stalked by someone who has an allergic reaction to literature you tend to find yourself at the library often." Hermione looked like she was about to explode, never a good sign, she whipped out her wand and cast several privacy charms around them including a disillusion, and in one smooth motion her wand was was back on her belt.

This complete the witch suddenly straddled Lilly and wrapped her arms around her neck kissing her deeply, that...that was not expected, a little note of irritation entered the back of her mind, '_This is what it took? Talking about my favorite novels? This woman...'_ . As the kiss deepened Hermione's hands drifted down past Lilly's shoulders and locked tightly around her waist, eventually eyes fluttering open she broke the kiss to stare into her friends brightly glowing gaze; for once she was the one smirking.

"Are you just going to sit there or take us some place more private?"

* * *

><p>Sirius Black was among many many things (most of them true he'd sadly admit) a free spirit, so being confined in the hated home of his even more hated family sapped much of the life from him. His being stuck in hiding was now even more grating with Lilly's revelations, if what she said was true he'd been cast aside and sent to the closest thing to Hell on Earth by a man he'd looked to as a father. So it was not really shocking that he'd immediately accepted his goddaughters rather amusing scheme and his part in it.<p>

Right now though he had to prepare, and one of those preparations was to _not_ look like a vagrant, it had only taken a floo call for Fleur Delacour to show up and give him a make over, seeing as he couldn't exactly go to a salon it was his only real option outside of Molly. Plus, while he'd never interfere with Bill's love life there was nothing quite like being under the ministrations of a French Veela, as he mulled over asking her if she had any older single relatives the front door was slammed open.

Both startled they glanced down the hall to see two girls snogging the hell out of each other, as his mothers portrait began to go off the raven haired teen whipped her wand up and blasted the painting with a curse he'd only ever seen Lily Potter pull off. As the beam of light faded the smoking hole in the wall was ignored by the busy couple as they absently closed the door, realizing that the caster had been his goddaughter and the other girl Hermione Sirius just raised an eyebrow as the smaller witch was scooped up into Lilly's arms.

Walking past Sirius the bespectacled teen winked at him and marched upstairs, as a door slammed shut Fleur met Sirius eyes and after a moment they both broke down laughing. Leaving the kids to do what kids do Sirius sat patiently for another ten minutes until Fleur finished his makeover, now admiring his new stylish goatee and primped shoulder length hair he couldn't help but think, '_Black is back baby!'._

As Fleur began cleaning up the rather large amount of hair on the floor there was an ear piercing wail from the main hall, signing Sirius stuck his head through the doorway to see Kreacher holding the fire blackened and still smoking portrait frame,

"MISTRESS! FILTHY BLOOD TRAITORS KILL YOU! It was the blood traitors mudblood whore did this, yes, Kreacher will show her!" Before he could stop the insane house elf he had apparated away,

"Ah hell..."

* * *

><p>Snog session currently in progress Lilly lay on the love seat arms wrapped around Hermione, after having to come up for air Lilly finally found herself capable of speaking,<p>

"Not..ahem...not that I'm complaining or anything but when did you suddenly get into girls?" blushing furiously Hermione kissed her again before answering,

"I'm not, well not strictly, I'm into you, Lilly who was Harry, doesn't matter what you look like you're the best friend that I fell in love with," Lilly grinned at how incredibly sappy that sounded and pulled the bookworm back down. As their hands began...exploring...other options there was a crack of an apparation, looking over quickly both young ladies eyes widened in shock as they were charged by a screaming hatchet wielding Kreacher.

* * *

><p>The screams...were not unexpected, the ceiling in the sitting parlor exploding in a cascade of rotting wood, broken plaster, and cobwebs was. In the center of the mess was a very stunned (hopefully dead) Kreacher, glancing up he met a rather disheveled Lilly's gaze, lifting his brows in question he made a mental note to ask her how she did that brilliant eye glowing thing.<p>

"So...everything handled pup?" He heard her mumble a few rather creative curse words when she finally replied,

"Yeah we're good, Hermione wants to know if I killed the fucking psychopath, can you check?" Grimacing he walked up to the filthy elf and looked down at it, a moment later he sighed back up to her,

"Nope, unfortunately you did not manage to kill him this time...damnit..." Sighing Lilly sounded slightly relieved,

"Ok good, would never hear the end of that, anyway I'm using your bedroom, pardon we're using your bedroom, see you in a half hour," laughing to himself he left Kreacher in the rubble, he'd let the elf clean it up later.

* * *

><p>Roughly an hour late two blushing witches made their way downstairs, Fleur and Sirius were both waiting in the kitchen sipping tea, the blonde Veela looked up first and grinned at the pair,<p>

"So 'Arry, are we going to 'ave to 'ave ze talk now?" Face falling the woman in question whined,

"Are you serious?" Grinning the French woman took a sip of her tea and replied,

"No, zat is your godfather, I am Fleur," Sirius stared at her blankly before he asked,

"Did...did you just steal me joke?" Now giggling the Veela nodded,

"Oui, I 'ave been waiting all day to do it too!" Shaking his head Sirius glanced to the still standing couple,

"Ok Pup, I get why you're friends with her, come take a seat we've got things to talk about!" Taking there seats the two girls kept trading furtive glances which only had Sirius laughing inwardly, '_Ah young love, nothing like it_'.

Once settled he continued, "Well we've gotten a report from Hogwarts that Harry, rather Lilly, is AWOL and Dumbledore is trying to find a way to bust into the chamber of secrets, from what Bill told Fleur here breaking the rune wards on that door will take roughly six months so no worries about that. No one seems to have noticed Hermione's gone missing yet but I'm sure that's just because no one checked the library." That got a snort from both teens who were still making googly eyes at each other, Fleur cleared her throat and continued for him,

"Now, zere is somezing you two need to realize, while mainland Europe and some of Asia don't quite...care about ze whole same sex zing wizarding Britain is quite conservative, 'Arry I know how little you care what ozers zink but please try to refrain from anyzing too crazy? You are untouchable as a High Lady, Hermione...not so much." Nodding thoughtfully Lilly stroked her chin and looked to the ceiling,

"Right, bigotry, they won't look at the fact that I was a guy less then a week ago they're going to look at two very hot women being into each other...lovely...thanks for the tip Fleur. Hmm...I could just kill them all...messy but acceptable..." Before anything else could be said Kreacher stumbled into the room,

"Mudblood whore! Half blood traitors! You all pay for hurting the mist'-" He was cut off by Fleur as she hit him with a stunner rolling her eyes, looking to Sirius she sheepishly said,

"Sorry, I can only take 'im for so long," he waved it off as Lilly stood up shaking her head in annoyance,

"I'll check him this time," as she approached the passed out elf a hissing sound could be heard from the locket dangling from his chest, kneeling down she snapped off the necklace and cocked her head to the side, after a moment she began hissing in return. With a click the gold locket split open and white light enveloped the startled witch.

* * *

><p>Lilly had not been anticipating dealing with a Horcrux today, in fact she was barely beginning to process the fact that she'd gotten to second base with her best friend when the alien presence began invading her brain. The imagery was of course deeply unpleasant, this shard of Tom's soul was trying to play off her base fears but couldn't really find a crevice to land a hook into.<p>

Its not like she had no fears, she had plenty, but what it tried to worm into was just a bunch of none issues, Hermione loved her, this afternoons...activities proved that beyond a doubt. Sirius really wanted to be her guardian, emancipation or not the man was determined to be there for her, and Ron despite being a barely intelligible foodsack had always come back in the end to help.

Hell, the rest of the Weasely's always had her back as well, Bill and Charlie were the consummate gentlemen (and the new girly parts of her brain threw in 'Hot' as well, ick) Percy was a prat but meh, can't have them all, and the twins and Ginny were amazing partners in crime. No, this deft little bastard wasn't going to play on any fears of inadequacy, eventually it got frustrated and addressed her directly...finally.

"Your mind is well shielded, I can offer you power untold if you simply let me in, together we can forge a destiny of greatness!" Holy. Shit. This thing just went full Palpatine...sighing Lilly began pulling at the edges of Horcrux magic, eventually she found the complex runic matrix that kept the abomination intact and began unraveling it.

"Sorry Tom, I am you and you are me, I know you better then you know yourself, and while I must say you are significantly less insane then the bit of you that was jammed in my brain you're just quite simply not my type." As the magics surrounding them began to come apart a distinct keening whine could be heard from the Horcrux, '_Gonna go deaf...seriously stop already_',

"NO! I am Lord Voldemort, I am undying, I am immortal!" Sighing she lamented '_Wow, this is seriously getting tedious, is he going to go through every villain cliche before this is over?_' Not willing to give the soul fragment another chance at a one liner Lilly focused on the new magics flooding her system, after a time she came to back to in the kitchen as her hand was being soaked in ichor pouring from the locket. As a screaming face appeared from the smoke roiling forth she couldn't help but drop her glowing eyes to meet the suffering shades ashen blacks,

"Was it good for you Tommy? Cause I could go all night...oh well, two minute wonder aside, I'll give you a call later," And with that she blew on the fading specter as it fell into dust, scourgifying then examining the rather gaudy bauble the snake in its center hissed,

"_Thank you mistresss, it burned...it hurt ssso much when the falssse heir put hisss foul touch on me, I am now yoursss to command," _as black talons of electricity spread from the locket down her body she shuddered as the ancient Slytherin magic became hers. Shaking her head a couple times she then conjured a chain and threaded it through the locket, wrapping it around her neck she walked back to the stunned table and plopped down in the chair next to Hermione's.

"Well that was a thing, mind pouring me a few fingers of firewhiskey Padfoot? This is going to take some explaining."

* * *

><p><strong>AN-Lilly is just having one hell of a day isn't she? And now she's charged with more Voldemort soul goodness, how will this dark energy effect her? Find out next time!<strong>

**Also I found Mr Fortescue's fate to be a rather sad one so Lilly lent him a hand, on that note she's dealing with the fact that her view of the world is a turning a very deep gray and is trying to do as much good as possible to counter it. **

**Personally I find the idea of Lilly's revelations about her reading habits turning Hermione on rather funny, so ran with it, as far as Fleur goes I rather liked her character so having her around for this bit was just personal preference.**


	6. Chapter 6

**_PLEASE REVIEW!_, to sound perfectly childish I just had a horrible evening with my birthday, a spiteful soon to be ex wife and a bottle of Lady Bligh. I don't care if you're telling me I suck I just want to hear peoples thoughts on this story...thankyou...**

**EDIT: Also to the guest review, nope at this point its strait out Harry/Hermione, I _still_ have no idea what JKR was thinking forcing that bumbling moron with Hermione, smartest witch of the generation ending up with the prat that mocked and degraded her since day one...healthy... Now that's not to say outside sources aren't _interested,_ plus Susan Bones is a somewhat interesting character and very under utilized so what I do with her well...I really don't know yet. BUT! (and pay attention here) it will be fun, and to a Marauder that's all that matters =)  
><strong>

* * *

><p>As Lilly wound down her story the two adults in the room stared at her incredulously, shaking his head Sirius coughed, took a shot of firewhiskey, then a second, after a time he finally spoke.<p>

"Well pup, that's...that's quite the tale, but you erm... you made one rather glaring mistake if what you think about Dumbledore is true," emerald eyes flashing in annoyance she asked,

"What?" Sighing Fleur spoke first, she looked more...resigned then anything,

"You told us and 'Ermione, 'Arry, if Dumbledore has done as you have said zen he can read any of our minds, and I doubt 'I ate Voldemort's soul' will really engender trust wiz the old man." Green eyes dimming she sat there for a moment, truly absorbing her folly and how she had ruined all her plans by confiding in her friends, she then abruptly began swearing in Russian. Sirius for his part sat there in mild amusement as the raven haired young woman began pacing the room, as she was now switching languages at random.

It was a testment to Hermione's patience that she allowed her girlfriend to cycle through most cursewords used in Eurasia before interrupting her, walking up behind the still rambling teen she wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her close.

"Dear, please, I think they were just trying to emphasize that you cannot just throw this information about, I sincerely doubt a pure-blood heir and a part Veela witch lack mental shields, am I correct?" Sirius grinned and nodded while winking towards Lilly,

"Right on that account little one, sorry pup I honestly just wanted to see how long you'd ramble, I gotta say I'm very impressed with your knowledge of vulgar venacular," the Lord Black stated proudly. Nodding Fleur tapped her forehead,

"Not only iz it difficult to view my mind, zere is a very real chance ze attempt will damage the attackers mind, natural defense against wizard who cannot take no for answer," relaxing Lilly shook her head in annoyance as she broke Hermione's light grasp, the motion sending her hair sashaying back and forth.

"Well thanks for scaring the hell out of me you two, consider the lesson learned, what about Hermione?" Sirius shrugged at that,

"I can give her the basics of occlumency right now, its a mental exercise and while she won't pick it up immediately she is a frighteningly intelligent young witch and I'm sure she won't have a hard time picking it up. You can even help shore up the defenses if she lets you in her mindscape willingly, keep in mind though Dumbledore only does passive scans on surface thoughts alright? This means that as long as he thinks she's not involved he won't really bother outside of a cursory glance," Nodding thoughtfully the Lady of Slytherin stopped as her locket began hissing, glancing down at the bauble she grinned viciously.

"Dobby!" With a snap the eccentric elf appeared before her hopping up and down in excitement,

"Lilly Potter! What can Dobby be doing for you!" Smiling at the little elf she raised a brow and asked,

"Did Lovegood get my letter," Nodding emphatically the excitable little creature hopped foot to foot,

"Dobby gave Lady Lovegood the letter as Lilly Potter asked, she told Dobby that she'd write a reply once you were done talking to a Susan Death!" Stopping dead in her tracks she looked at the elf incredulously before moving on, seriously why not, taking off her glasses and rubbing the bridge of her nose she let out a small sigh.

"O...k... Dobby I'm officially asking you to be bound to House Potter-Slytherin and to be my chief house elf," shooting a quick glance at Mt. Hermione as she was about to explode Lilly quickly threw in, "And offer you a salary of ten galleons a week plus any wardrobe you prefer, is this acceptable?"

Truth be told Lilly was not all that comfortable having a sobbing house elf latched onto her leg, Fleur and Sirius' laughter was not helpful at all in that regard either. Eventually Dobby composed himself and stood ramrod strait,

"Dobby be accepting this Lady Potter-Slytherin!" There was a brief flash of magic and that was that, Dobby eyed her in shock after he was bound before he began cackling, yeah...not creepy.

"Mistress Potter is a very very strong witch, Dobby be enjoying this more then he imagined," not quite feeling comfortable with that she glanced to Hermione,

"Dobby the Lady Hermione is my...err..." wracking her brain for the elf term she threw out, "bondmate, treat her as you'd treat me all right?" Dobby agreed of course as Hermione flushed deeply, "Ok, Dobby, I've just been informed that promise rings have a warding power against mind magic, I need you to hit the Potter vault and bring the Potter family rings to me ok?"

Grinning and throwing out a rakish salute the elf disappeared in a flash, a moment later Sirius broke down into peels of laughter,

"Congratulations on the mentally unstable elf pup, and quick thinking there, where did you get the idea to use the old magics in the family rings?" Grinning viciously Lilly walked to Hermione and pulled her close,

"Salazar's locket informed me that promise, betrothal, and wedding rings held by the pureblood families block out most mental magic, the Slytherin ones were sold off by the Gaunts but the Potters should still be there." Fleur snorted at this as she put the tea pot and cups into the sink,

"A clever work around 'Arry, so now what?" At this point Hermione interjected,

"Well...after I...I accept a promise ring," at this point it should be noted she was redder then a radish, "I think we should head back to Hogwarts, Lilly can apparate were she wants so she can leave me in the library and then make her entrance. Dinner is in an hour so that gives us time to prepare." Smiling down at her girlfriend Lilly continued,

"Good idea love, Fleur...I have a request I have to honestly say I never anticipated asking..." Cocking her head the French Veela replied,

"Oh, what is zat 'Arry?" Coughing she scratched the back of her head,

"I need you to give me a makeover so I can impress the hell out of the entire school," Fleur terrified the hell out of her as she flashed a predatory grin,

"Oh, I was 'oping zis would come up, I do wonder if you have the slightest idea how to walk in heels," letting a weak 'Meep' out she was dragged away as her godfathers laughter echoed through the room.

* * *

><p>Professor Minerva McGonagall liked to think of herself as a moderating force at Hogwarts, she was the buffer between the students and the consequences of their actions and she found sound enjoyment in guiding her wards, especially her lion cubs of Gryffindor. That being said, the past few days had been tearing at her heart, the revelations of what Albus had done to one of her favorite students as an infant burned her deeply, and seeing said child being damaged thus tore at her.<p>

The only real conciliation was that young Harry turned Lilly seemed to jump back from something as reprehensible as a blood ward and seal quite quickly and seemed to handle her transformation in a sardonic manner, and while McGonagall didn't really appreciate the mayhem the young witch had caused with her announcement and disappearance it really was not her place to say or do anything. After all getting accepted as a family head was emancipation from all guardians.

Plus seeing Albus' reaction to it was probably worth the slight upset, the man was normally unflappable and planned out everything four steps in advance, Lilly taking control of a long dead house was not in the forecast. So while Lilly was off doing who knows what Albus had a minor meltdown and tried to blast a hole through the girls loo in an attempt to find his wayward ward, at this point Minerva had decided it was prudent to be elsewhere and let that Umbridge creature observe the Headmaster's actions in full.

It was an admittedly...mean spirited act but she couldn't help but enjoy the interaction between the two, Albus had already fallen several levels in her respect spectrum and Umbridge didn't even register, so the tit for tat was amusing for herself. With that out of mind she sat at the head table conversing with Professor Flitwick observing the students enjoying dinner when her attention was drawn to the large hall doors slamming open; soon a lithe figure sauntered through the archway acting like she owned the place. And she did if you really thought about it.

The hall went silent as the raven haired young woman in deep green war-robes approached the professors, the click of her heals resounding off the flagstones, brightly glowing eyes showing nothing short of absolute amusement. As Lillith Potter stood before the head table no one, not a soul in the entire castle could deny the presence and magic radiating off the young witch, the only thing ruining the image of pure power was the amused smirk curling up one side of the girls porcelain visage.

"Deputy Headmistress McGonagall, if I may I'd like to discuss something with you?" A bit shocked at how...formal Lilly was she nodded slightly, grinning widely the teen bowed lightly in respect,

"I just want you to know I am and always will be a Gryffindor, I accepted the title of Lady of Slytherin as a means to spite Voldemort," it should be noted that the young lady spat the name in disgust as most of the room winced, "and to gain my emancipation so Dumbles no longer has the ability to manipulate and ruin my life further. I've always respected you and consider you to be that crazy awesome aunt that tells you that you shouldn't be naughty while winking and pointing to the liquor cabinet."

Minerva had to admit, this revelation amused and heartened her greatly, the young lady wasn't lost in the slightest as Albus insisted, she was just declaring her independence, and at this point the Professor couldn't blame her. Continuing the emerald eyed beauty began pacing,

"That being said, I very much hope you'll allow me to ditch divination and pick up ancient runes, Hermione has already agreed to tutor me on past years and I studied over the summer, outside of that I really have nothing to add." Nodding McGonagall replied,

"I would like to know about your change of heart on the subjects young lady, just so I can understand your viewpoint," Nodding she replied with,

"Honestly? I took divination because it was an easy course, with that infernal blood seal holding off most of my power I was just too exhausted to care about anything and I wanted my free time. With it gone I'm free and invigorated, divination can't be taught and I have no idea why the class even exists, ancient runes though can help me murder the hell out of Death Eater's and Voldemort, I find this to be an acceptable trade-off." Impressed, and slightly wary Minerva nodded,

"Very well, but I insist you prove you have a grasp on the subject before you waste your new professor's time...also you very much need to get into uniform, while eye catching you are rather indecent," The young woman before her glanced down at her rather...excessive cleavage her robes exposed while muttering,

"Riiiiight, I knew I forgot something," she hissed a few words and was suddenly engulfed in burning green snakes, a moment later she was back in her robes. "Sorry about that Professor, anyway when Albus begins to throw one of his fits about the 'greater good' send him my way, I very much am looking forward to telling that old man what I think about being manipulated from birth." And with that she made her way to the Gryffindor tables and sat demurely beside Neville, sighing inwardly she dearly hoped that this was the extent of this semesters excitement.

As Lilly dug into her dinner she pointedly ignored the hall wide staring contest while pouring a glass of juice, taking a sip she pulled a face and came to a realization that this new body thought pumpkin juice was disgusting. Clicking her fingers at it she changed it into cider and gulped it down, glancing up at her now shocked friends she gave them a confused look,

"Wh-what?" It was finally Ginny who spoke up,

"Umm...Harry...no offense but everyone is still getting used to you being a girl-" someone down the table interrupted with,

"A bloody hot girl!" Rolling her eyes Ginny continued as if nothing was said,

"And well, that on top of the Slytherin thing, you just performed wandless silent magic," shit, ok yeah that hadn't been planned, thinking quickly she quietly replied with,

"Err...nargles?" Sighing Ginny shook her head,

"That doesn't work on me when Luna does it and it certainly won't work with you, though its good to see you haven't changed much," Ron spoke up for the first time sounding irate,

"Yeah but now she's the queen snake," 'and here we are, was wondering when this would happen,' before she could explain herself her second favorite Weasley's chimed in,

"Shove off it Ronnikins, she just pulled the ultimate prank show her respect!" She thought that one was George,

"Yeah she pulled one that would have made the Marauders jealous, she stole Slytherin!" that one might be Fred, to hell with it,

"Well Gred and Forge, I'm just living up to my Marauder heritage is all," pausing the twins smirked at the nicknames then looked puzzled,

"Your heritage?" They echoed, freaky how they do that, cool, but freaky.

"Indeed, Moony was one of my dads best friends, you know him as Professor Lupin, Padfoot is my roguish godfather, and Prongs was none other then my dad. The less said about Wormtail the better." The twins sat there in awe, suddenly realizing they met their idols and could do so again, she was promptly ignored as they began whispering to each other, that was fine with her because at that point Hermione showed up and plopped in the empty space next to her.

"Heyya Hermione, where ya been?" Ginny cheerfully asked, blushing lightly she coughed into her fist and began preparing a plate,

"I...kind of fell asleep studying in one of the library conference rooms," Ron groaned at this which annoyed Lilly a bit, 'Show my girl some respect damnit!'

"Hermione really? Its Sunday for crying out loud enjoy it!" Huh...so he _hadn't_ made her skive any classes, good to know, Hermione just shrugged as she dug into her meal,

"Beats watching you play chess all day while rambling about the Chuddly Cannon's," he was about to retort when a familiar voice spoke up behind him, glancing up Lilly winced in annoyance,

"Well well Potter, looks like you were such a girl on the inside you had to just let it out huh?" That...that was it? Really? That is what Draco Malfoy came up with in four days of planning? Smirking at him she tilted her head demurely while placing a crooked finger under her chin.

"I do believe you're just jealous that even though my tackles gone its still bigger then yours," not her best she would admit, but it got him red in the face, and in the end isn't that all that matters?

"Listen you half-blood bitch when my-" she broke out into a laugh that grabbed the attention of most of her table mates and those from Ravenclaw, unbeknownst to her it was rather melodious.

"Yes yes, 'When my father finds out I'm a whiny little prat that insulted the head of the Most Ancient and Noble house Slytherin he'll likely shite his pants and demand I apologize', news flash ferret, I'm now emancipated, powerful, and rich, you-" she was interrupted by hissing from her locket, she hissed in return then laughed again. "Thank you Salazar, and also beautiful, he may be biased though he's still pumped up from watching my memories of kicking Voldemort's arse six times," another admonishing hiss, "Oh right seven."

Hermione was trying quite hard not to grin at the byplay, Lilly was enjoying herself far too much though the interesting shade of violet the bugeyed Malfoy was was turning pleased her so she wouldn't say anything. Lilly looked like she was ready to fire another volley when one of the most unpleasant sounds in the world interrupted her,

"Hem-hem," Lilly groaned and turned around, staring at her was the squat Doloras Umbridge, her pasty pale skin and pink cardigan doing everything they could to make her even more repulsive. "Miss Potter, you have detention tonight since you missed your last one, and did I hear you spreading lies about You-Know-Who again?" Lilly smiled winningly at her which turned on every alarm in her girlfriends head,

"Hello Ministry Appointed Instructor Umbridge, my apologies but those detentions were assigned to Harry Potter, who is now dead, I'm his better looking replacement Lilly Potter, don't worry I know how gender mix ups can happen when you do not personally resemble something outside of the amphibian family. Because I'm a kind woman I'll give you a hint, girls have tits, blokes of cocks." Utter silence reigned over the entire hall as Lilly continued to smile cheekily,

"its Professor you little ingrate and if you-" Lilly interrupted her while standing and much to Umbridge's consternation staring down at her,

"Really? I sincerely doubt you have certification from an accredited university, what _are_ your qualifications for this job Ministry Appointed Instructor Umbridge? Is 'bigot' in the same bracket as 'incompetent' or are they given their own categories?" Now flushed in rage the toad like woman screamed,

"500 points from Gryffindor and detention for the next six months!" Still smiling Lilly wagged a finger in front of her reproachfully,

"Tut tut tut, see in order for you to have that kind of power over a founder family heir you'd have to run it past the other three families heads, seeing as they're not here and I do not personally recognize you as a professor, neither does Hogwarts. Magics funny like that sometimes." Quivering in rage which was just...unpleasant to watch the epic showdown was interrupted by none other then Headmaster Dumbledore,

"Young lady, I do believe you have antagonized Madam Umbridge enough for one evening," Lilly pouted in a way that made Hermione want to drag her into a broom closet, the witch's green eyes began glowing in mirth causing both adults to take a step back.

"Aw, I wanted to see if she'd pee herself first or try to hex me, you're no fun Headmaster," As...disappointed as he was with young Lilly's actions today the amusement was quite clear in his eyes,

"Be that as it may you are quite aware its poor form to extend a conflict over unqualified foes for ones own amusement," he had put emphasis on the word "unqualified" as he glanced at Umbridge, 'whoa zing from Dumbledore!' most of the listeners thought, Lilly for her part stopped pouting and grinned widely while lightly tilting her head towards the Headmaster.

"This is true Headmaster, if you both would excuse me I'm rather peckish so I would like to return to my meal," Dumbledore for his part realized he'd get no answers with Doloras standing there so he offered to escort the still enraged woman to the head table leaving the young lions to stare at their new champion in awe. Sitting back down Lilly basked in the adoration being projected towards her, it was such a nice change from suspicion and loathing, ignoring Malfoy and his goons who were still standing there dumbly she looked to Ron,

"And that my friend is why being the queen snake isn't such a bad thing," nodding begrudgingly Ron finally smirked,

"So, what do you have planned for Snape?" The Cheshire cat grin that slowly crawled its way up her face had most of her friends lean back in fear, Gred and Forge just returned it and as one said,

"We want in." Letting the smile slowly recede she shook her head slowly,

"All in due time boys, a proper revenge is like a fine wine, you have to choose the perfect grapes, bottle and seal it the perfect way, and let it age and mature until its bouquet is enticing enough that you must indulge." Being goggled at by most of the table sans Hermione Lilly rolled her eyes and threw in, "Or as the Klingons say revenge is a dish best served cold," _that_ got a groan from Dean who obviously wasn't a Trekker but Hermione had looked over quickly eyes sparkling,

"You umm...you've watched Star Trek?" Nodding Lilly finished chewing on her chicken and swallowed before replying, something Ron desperately needed to work on,

"Yup, for a yank program it isn't half bad, the reruns and sometimes the movies play when the Dursley's went out for dinner so it was my guilty pleasure, why do you ask?" Smirking she leaned in and whispered,

"I uh...I wouldn't mind us trying things in those miniskirts and boots," her friends were now truly intrigued as the up to that point unflappable Miss Potter turned bright crimson and shakily stuttered,

"O..o.k...I uh...sounds good," smiling self indulgently Hermione patted herself on the back, about time the other witch had a taste of her own medicine. As the plates were cleared Lilly bade her leave and approached the Hufflepuff table, Susan Bones soon turned around to face Lilly.

"Ello Susan, I know we don't talk much but I was hoping I could ask you a favor?" Considering how the emerald eyed witch had just torn apart Umbridge in front of the whole school the Bones heir was willing to work with her,

"If I can help I will within reason, what is it?" Smiling cordially Lilly pulled out a letter and handed it off,

I'd like to meet with your Aunt sometime this week, its...importantish but not the end of the world if she can't pencil me in, I'll owe you a favor for this if she accepts, deal?" Feeling the power radiating off the other witch Susan simply nodded,

"I'll let her know tonight, but when I cash this in no complaints, ok?" Snorting the Gryffindor waved it off,

"I pay my debts, thanks gorgeous, talk to you later," and with that she sauntered towards her friends and left Susan holding the letter with a blank look on her face, 'Why in the hell did her calling me that make me happy?

Three days later found Lilly running laps around the great hall in a tank top and cut off shorts, she was running the laps here to annoy Umbridge and wearing the clothes because they were the only light clothing she had. The boys though...well they were watching for other reasons, some of them trying to reconcile the fact that she had been a he a week ago and that they very much found her attractive. To Lilly this was expected, Harry never had an easy life and she didn't delude herself into thinking things were going to get any better, but she'd admit, the leering was offsetting.

"Hey Lilly!" Slowing down from her jog huffing she turned to see Susan Bones approaching with a letter in hand,

"Auntie says she'll meet up with you today, she even sent a two use portkey, gotta get out of Hogwarts first though," Nodding she wiped the swept from her brow then grinned brilliantly towards her tentative friend,

"Thanks alot Sue, I'll go get cleaned up and take care of this," wondering what in the literal hell her emotions were doing to her Sue spun on her heel and left the hall with even more questions then before. Lilly for her part was just glad the next part of her scheme could move on, after her rather...colourful interview with Luna Lovegood she'd cleared all phases of this stage outside of meeting with the head of the DMLE. Running to the showers she hadn't noticed the dozen or so lustful gazes following her path, in many ways she'd always be a boy and not realize what she was doing until much much later. On that note, she could kill any of them with a thought, so "being careful" wasn't really an issue for her, but no one but her or Hermione knew this.

Cleaning up and telling Hermione where she was going Lilly summoned her arse kicking robes and was soon garbed in Slytherin goodness. Apparating in Hogsmeade Lilly activated the portkey and found herself falling on her butt directly in front of of Madam Bones, not wanting to lose face she grinned and said,

"In my defense, this is my first portkey with boobs," while it was completely tactless it was also so out there that the stern woman barked out a laugh and helped her up, shaking her head a few times she stumbled to the guest chair mumbling, "I really truly hate these things and wish someone in the magic world discovered airplanes..." Madam Bones just arched a brow above her monocle while she waited for Lilly to ready herself.

"So Miss Potter how can I help you?" Lilly/Tom/Harry had all learned one thing about people like Amelia Bones, don't lie, don't waste their time, and make your point clearly known.

"Well, simply put, my Godfather, the notorious Sirius Black is completely innocent of his crimes, he was never given a trial, he had just been nabbed at the scene of the crime, carted off to Azkaban, and signed off by Barty Crouch. He was _not_ my parents secret keeper, that bastard death eater Peter Pettigrew was, Dad and Sirius thought it would be the ultimate prank on the dark cocksucker, unfortunately they had no idea their childhood friend turned on them." Looking startled the powerful woman demanded answers and she recounted her entire third year, after a time there was a brief silence and then Madam Bones finally managed to speak.

"So he's perfectly willing to go under truth serum as long as we get it sworn that he'll get a fair trial?" Nodding Lilly threw in,

"No doubt, he's sick of hiding and to be honest with you I want _some_ family that hasn't been fucked over by Dumbledore or Voldemort, you help me I'll do everything in my power to help you." Madam Bones smiled slightly then nodded,

"You get him in front of the Wizengamot I'll give him a fair shake," Grinning devilishly Lilly's eyes began glowing in anticipation.

"Oh Madam Bones, do I have a bonus for you, what do you think of Doloras Umbridge and do you moral issues about information gathered through mind rape?"


	7. Chapter 7

**This was a fun one to write, and since I really had no responsibilities this weekend it was done in a pretty timely manner, shout out to Jake for beta'ing this thing for me, enjoy and as always PLEASE REVIEW!**

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><p>Lilly left her meeting with Madam Bones with a grin plastered on her face, dealing with the powerful war-witch was less of a negotiation and more akin to comparing notes with a kindred spirit. They'd talked well over an hour (interfering with several appointments) on the fine art of capturing dark wizards, and offing the really dangerous ones in a manner that wouldn't put anyone's knickers in a twist.<p>

This was all of course just a bonus, she'd fully intended on befriending Amelia's niece to secure an alliance with another ancient and noble house, the fact that she actually liked the last scions of the Bones family simply made it easier. As she apparated back into Hogwarts she immediately began walking towards the dungeons for potions class, silently contemplating how she could solidify friendships with anyone in Slytherin she'd come to a simple conclusion; Snape had to go.

This decision of course was in no way influenced by her personal feelings on the man or the fact that he had a creepy obsession with her dead mother who she now greatly resembled. It most certainly had nothing to do with the amount of times she'd caught him staring at her when he thought no one was looking, or the repeated attempts to enter her mind, nope, none of that factored in, total professional here.

Stopping to consider her options she checked the time and saw she had at least an hour till class, nodding to herself she apparated to the sixth floor and peaked into Professor Bathsheda Babbling's office. Seeing the middle aged woman leafing through papers Lilly knocked on the door frame to get her attention,

"Excuse me professor, could I possibly have a word with you?" Glancing up the blonde witch grinned seeing her new second favorite student, while Lilly had only taken one class so far she'd proven herself to be near NEWT level in skill with ancient runes with little direction needed. This was of course due to two factors, the first being Tom _had_ been NEWT level, and she had Hermione to tutor her, and she thought her girlfriend had been rough with the studying before they were dating, now...ugh...

"Of course Miss Potter, I'm just grading papers, its best to do it quickly you see, leave runic arrays laying around unattended and a little ambient magic can activate them, first time it happened I had a repelling ward knocking me away from my desk for a week!" Smiling at the friendly teacher Lilly sat down and crossed her legs, she kept having to remind herself about the little things like that; life as a woman was needlessly complicated in her opinion.

"Sounds fun, what happened the second time?" Snorting she placed the papers aside while twirling a finger,

"Desk blew up, third time it somehow summoned a minor demon, that was irritating, anyway how can I help you?" Hoping this worked Lilly placed her hands in her lap and began,

"Well, as you know I'm now the High Lady of Slytherin, this has the added benefit of technically putting me in charge of the house here at school, and well...my house is supposed to be the home of guile, cunning, and ambition. All I ever see outside of handful of true Slytherin are a bunch of arrogant braggarts who use their families wealth to lord over everyone else, and I think we both know why this is allowed." Leaning back the professor took a deep breath and sighed,

"Yes I'm not happy at all to what's happened to my old house, we always had issues with the blood purists but since most of the truly cunning students were muggle-born or half-bloods they were usually kept in check. Under Severus..." '_Oh this is better then I thought!_' Taking advantage of Babbling's musings Lilly launched her plan with gusto,

"Yes, he's an elitist, a terrible teacher, plays favorites with his house and abuses the house point system, and don't even get me started on his choice of prefects. So while there is a bit of conflict of interests since I obviously hold so much respect for the greasy git I find that I'm left in a rather interesting position of being able to sack him as house head and appoint someone else." Eyes now gleaming with interest Babbling leaned forward and loosed a knowing smile,

"Oh? And who would you like to replace him?" Grinning from ear to ear Lilly decided nothing coy would be needed here,

"Well if you'd like the position I'd gladly offer it to you, seeing as you are a fair and unbiased witch I'm sure you could knock some common sense into your snakes, Merlin knows they need it." Looking all too pleased she agreed and Lilly had her fill out the simple contract, once signed she put it away in her robes and began tapping the desk absentmindedly contemplating what the next phase of 'Operation Get the Git' would entail.

"I must say Severus will not be pleased, nor the Headmaster come to think, what will you do about it?" Chuckling Lilly shrugged a bit,

"Technically they can do nothing, Snape already sabotages my potions or at the very least lets the Slytherin's get away with doing it and my opinion on the Headmaster has nose dived as of recently, lets just say my little transformation was largely his fault and leave it at that." Nodding Babbling picked up a quill and began twirling it between her fingers like a baton, eventually she said,

"I have to say while I didn't know you well at all beforehand you've certainly taken to the changes well, I'd have thought this all would be more...traumatic for you." Snorting Lilly rose from her seat as she rolled her eyes,

"Honestly Professor this doesn't even make my 'Top Ten List of Shit That Doesn't Make Sense In The Wizarding World', I'm so used to things just happening to me that I've learned to just roll with it." Excusing herself she made for the door when Babbling asked one last question,

"Whats Number 1?" Smirking Lilly looked over her shoulder and quipped,

"How the bloody hell does the Ministry of Magic function with Fudge in charge?"

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><p>Hermione was absently leafing through her potions notes while steadfastly tuning out Ron's ramblings, they invariably involved a combination of dislike for Malfoy, love of chess, quiditch, and food, or asking where Lilly was. It was unfair to think so poorly of one of her closest friends but he seriously needed to expand his interests; glancing at the clock she felt a pang of worry, Lilly was going to be late and things were already going to be awkward as is. This was the first potions class her girlfriend would be attending since the accident and well...Lilly <em>hadn't<em> been the only one to notice the way Snape had been leering at her.

As if summoned by her thoughts the potions master swept into the room robes billowing, she often wondered if they were charmed to do that, it would certianly explain why they never got caught on anything. As class was just about to start Lilly entered the room and Hermione felt a moment of panic seeing she was still in her High Lady robes, the fact that the bespectacled witch was whistling and showing not a care in the world didn't help. Snape sneered and said,

"Glad you could join us Miss Potter, 10 points from Gryffindor for being out of uniform," crossing her arms below her bust and cocking her hips to one side Lilly stared at the man for a moment with one brow rising, _'Blast why does she have to be so hot'_ she thought blushing.

"Really Severus, considering the amount of times I've caught you staring at my tits I thought you wouldn't have much to complain about," that...that actually managed to leave the room in stunned silence, even Snape's eyes widened a bit at this declaration. Rolling her eyes Lilly snapped her fingers while hissing quietly and in a moment she was back in her school robes, "Well if you don't want the free show that's on you," taking her seat she pointedly ignored the classes stares.

"Twenty points for the cheek!" Lilly pulled out her notes while letting out a loud nonecommittal,

"Mmhmm, that's nice," and began reviewing the lesson plan, Snape actually looked a bit lost, he'd just been accused of ogling a student, casually insulted, then completely blown off when he attempted to escalate matters, after a moment he waved his wand at the board and snarled,

"You have two hours!" and sat at his desk brooding, honestly to Hermione it looked like he was pouting, glancing over to her girlfriend she finally asked,

"And what, may I ask was that all about Miss Potter?" Wincing she adjusted her glasses then replied,

"Ouch, I'm getting the Miss treatment already, and that dear Hermione was act two of phase one to 'Operation Get the Git', act three should be starting soon." There was a light cough behind them and both girls looked back to see a pair of smirking Slytherin's, Daphne Greengrass and Tracey Davis were what Lilly had defined as "True Slytherin" and had actively talked to the two for the past few years. While Ron of course was hostile to the pair Hermione had nothing against them, they were smart, cunning, polite young witches and the word "mudblood" had never been uttered by either, so as far as she was concerned they were alright.

"Potter I have to say, the new you is very entertaining," Daphne drawled, Tracey shook her head with a smirk still on her face,

"Indeed, and thanks for calling him on that, you aren't the only girl whose caught him eyeing them, making a public declaration like that certainly brought attention to the situation," Lilly smiled in return then winked at the girls which sent a jealous pang through Hermione.

"I'm glad my indifference towards authority figures continues to delight, haven't talked to you two for awhile, hows things?" Daphne shrugged,

"Well enough I suppose, no ones tried to break into our room to "teach us a lesson" since we put that banishing ward up, last time it slammed a seventh year into the wall so hard you broke his collar bone." Eyes narrowing dangerously and beginning to glow brightly Lilly coldly stated,

"If anyone gives you more trouble let me know, my new position gives me an in to making life very, very difficult for those that cross me or my friends," both Slytherin's were slightly taken aback by that, Tracey asked,

"So we're friends now Potter?" It was a statement in the form of a question, Hermione looked at Lilly's face closely and could tell this was all calculated and planned for, '_What is that girl up to?_'

"I'd like to think so, we've been cordial with each other the past three years and with my direct connection to your school House I don't see what it could hurt," The girls exchanged a glance then Daphne replied,

"We're not opposed to it, and I can already say that I wouldn't mind our family houses eventually becoming formally allied, but the thing is all inter-house relations here at school are curtailed by the current head of house." Grinning wickedly Lilly turned back to her cauldron and lightly sing songed,

"Oh that's solving itself, hehehehe..." the amused giggle scared Hermione, finally speaking she asked,

"What did you do Lilly?" Smirking her girlfriend simply stated,

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," after that she ignored all other questions but the smirk never left her face, about an hour later a large owl swept through the room dropping a scroll on Snape's desk, Hermione had been able to catch sight of the seal and it was from the Board of Governors. Letting out a giggle that became a low throaty cackle Lilly turned back to Tracey and Daphne, "So do you two know Professor Babbling?" Looking confused Daphne nodded,

"Yes she's our Ancient Runes professor, shes a very fair and intelligent woman, she's even better with runes then the tutors my father hired, why do you ask?" At that moment Snape's bellowed,

"POTTER!" Cut through the room, now openly cackling she winked at the pair again while turning back to her cauldron,

"Because she's your new head of house, mischief managed!"

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><p>The resulting fallout of Lilly's vengeance was felt for weeks to come, the first act Professor Babbling performed once taking over as head of house was to strip Draco and Pansy of their Prefect badges, apparently that doesn't happen often and was considered to be quite the little scandal. Lilly had no idea which Slytherin replaced Malfoy but Daphne Greengrass had received Pansy's badge which her blonde friend thanked her for, she felt it would look good on a resume later in life; gotta love that Slytherin focus on upward mobility.<p>

The revamping of Slytherin House was extensive, Professor Babbling had no patience for bullying and gave no preferential treatment to her house, the end result was _alot_ of detentions, especially for Malfoy and his gang who were used to getting away with everything. All in all it was a vast improvement that was only hindered by Dumbledore pleading with Lilly to give Snape another chance, she told him she'd think about it, honestly it was the only way to make him go away.

As for her social networking, she'd started (under Hermione's insistence) a defense against the dark arts club to train their fellow students on how not to die if Death Eaters ever attacked and they didn't agree to wait around until Auror's showed up to arrest them. She'd mainly focused on Neville, Susan, Daphne, Tracey, and Luna as far as developing friendships go, they all had connections that would help her with her end goal and to be blunt they were quite fun to be around. That's not to say she didn't help the others along with their training, as far as she was concerned having access to Tom's rather extensive assortment of spells made it her duty to spread the knowledge.

The one major hiccup in their plans was that Umbridge tried to do her best to derail the club, she'd been subtle about it at first (riiiight) but eventually began strait out threatening Lilly, which was hilarious because the castle forcefully expelled the toad through the front doors for pointing a wand at a founder heir. Once she'd regained consciousness Umbridge made alot of noise about how Lilly had attacked a member of the ministry after being confronted about the Slytherin heir's attempt to build an army for Dumbledore. This was a personal affront, she wasn't doing anything to help Dumbledore, she was building an army for herself; so that's how she found herself currently being interviewed by Madam Bones in the Great Hall as she was flanked by two Aurors.

Winking at Kingsley and Tonks Lilly went over what happened, it should be noted that every witness in the room could tell that not only did she look unworried, she looked bored out of her skull,

"Heyya Madam Bones, I'm assuming the Umbitch came up with some far out there lie to have you try to arrest me yes?" The older woman snorted as she glanced at the wretch in question, head still wrapped in bandages from her impromptu flight and landing,

"Hello Lilly, and yes she spun a most interesting tale, apparently she received information that the defense club you're running is a front to train war-wizards for Dumbledore so he can use school children to try and topple the ministry? And that once confronted you physically attacked her and she barely survived," the woman's tone was amused if anything, snorting Lilly raised her wand causing Umbridge to desperately grab for her own but she ignored the toad.

"I Lillith Alice Potter so do swear on my magic that I am not building an army for Dumbledore and that the castles wards protected me from an attack by Ministry Appointed Instructor Umbridge and thus resulting in her injuries," the flash from her wand was blindingly bright, as it faded Umbridge finally got her wand out. Looking the vile woman in the eyes she couldn't stop the smirk curling up her lips, "Please try it Doloras, I'm hoping you hit a chandelier on your way out this time." _  
><em>

Both Auror's and their boss turned to look at the enraged Undersecretary who eventually huffed, jammed her wand in her pocket and stalked off, '_My powers to annoy have grown strong'_ she thought with dark amusement. Madam Bones muttered something to her subordinates who after a few moments nodded and left the hall, giving Lilly an appraising look the older woman shook her head,

"You certainly know how to cause waves young lady, Susan's told me you've been helping her with her spell casting, I appreciate that considering the quality of education my golds paying for." Lilly smiled at that her eyes glowing slightly brighter as she felt a sense of satisfaction,

"Oh she's good, quite good in fact, she just needed a guiding hand, she can't get the Patronus charm down quite yet but she's close, might want to watch out Madam or she could be shooting for your job." Amelia smiled at that pleased to hear the praise her niece had garnered, stepping in closer she whispered,

"Fudge plans on using the next Wizengamot meeting to review your claim over the House of Slytherin, he's hoping to have your emancipation repealed and well...you can guess where it goes from there," grinning widely Lilly let out a short laugh.

"Brilliant, it only took a month and a half of chaos to get ourselves into position, if we manage to discredit Umbridge in front of the court what's the likelihood that they'll actually attempt to prosecute me?" Snorting the head of the DMLE replied dryly,

"Considering what you've gathered on her from your...sweeps, I find it seriously unlikely, the meeting is in two weeks and since you inherited a seat with your title they'll be forced to invite you...but not to inform you of the itinerary." Lilly could feel her excitement beginning to build, they were so close to destroying Umbridge and at the same time clearing Sirius,

"Perfect, well if that is all Madam Bones I need to meet up with my friends to go and build my dangerous army of school kids," giving her goodbyes she followed her Aurors out of the hall leaving Lilly to ponder her next scheme. As she began to walk out of the hall herself she was intercepted by her lovely girlfriend who then sidled up matching the taller witch's pace,

"Well that went surprisingly well didn't it love?" Snorting Hermione shook her head sending her bushy hair swaying,

"Yes all things considered, I honestly thought baiting her with the DADA club would get her to make a move far sooner, its been over a month since you started training our classmates," stroking her chin thoughtfully Lilly considered this a moment.

"'Mione, if you brought the DADA club up to Harry, how do you think he'd have reacted?" That gave her girlfriend pause, her brown eyes lost focus for a moment then a sheepish grin popped onto her face,

"More then likely he'd have refused at first, being as humble as he always was and his tendency to be moody when people relied on him when he thought he wasn't that special, it probably would have taken me a few months to needle him into accepting." Sighing self deprecatingly Lilly agreed with the assessment,

"Yeah my thoughts as well, instead I jumped on it because first off it was a brilliant idea from an equally brilliant witch," taking a glance around she quickly pecked Hermione on the cheek causing a light blush, "and second it fit in perfectly with my ongoing plans to push Umbridge over the edge. So my thinking is, maybe her plotting was centered around what _Harry_ would do, and not Lilly." Silently considering this idea the couple found themselves at the classroom Professor Flitwick had offered them for the club, it appeared two members had showed up early and were already practicing their dueling rather then waiting on the club president, good.

Neville and Luna were busy throwing stunners at each other while staying mobile, that was the number one thing Lilly wanted to instill in her fellow students, always stay moving since dark wizards are attention whores that make grandiose gestures while standing still, don't be that guy. Luna tried to dive out of the way but her feet caught somehow and she took the stunner to the chest sending her into a sprawling tumble, Neville gasped and rushed to her,

"Luna I'm so sorry I didn't mean to hurt you!" The young man caste the counter spell and Luna groaned, walking up to the pair Hermione looked down at Luna's feet and worried her lip a bit,

"Luna are you ok?" The small blonde nodded as she sat up, eyes somewhat glazed after her fall, Hermione then asked, "Luna, why do you have two right shoes on?" The blonde shrugged a bit at that,

"Oh, the other girls like to hide my things, they all think I'm odd so they find it amusing to play tricks on me." Suddenly a few of Luna's idiosyncrasys made a bit more sense, frowning Lilly pulled out her wand and took the shoe off Luna's left foot, casting a permanent transfiguration on it she handed it back to the now smiling Luna.

"Thank you Lilly, I like it when you do things like that, its almost like having a friend," That...that struck a cord with all three of them, all had been outcasts in one form or another and all had difficulty making friends at first, Neville for his part surprised Lilly by taking the initiative.

"Luna we _are_ your friends, please don't say things like that ok?" Her sad smile seemed a bit brittle now as she began to stand up,

"People...people have said that before just to hurt me later, are you going to hurt me?" That...fuck...ok what the hell do you say to that? Bumbling, stuttering, clumsy Neville Longbottom had the answer, pulling out his wand he invoked,

"I Neville Longbottom swear on my magic that I have no ill intentions towards Luna Lovegood and only wish to be her friend," brief flash and that was that, '_Huh, bravo Neville.'_ Luna looked utterly shocked as her silver eyes widened perceptibly, after a moment she gave Neville a warm smile,

"I fear the wrackspurts may have gotten to you Neville, but thank you regardless," touching scene aside the rest of the defense club had begun filing in and Lilly had things to do, leaving the pair to their own devices. Hermione still at her side she turned to the group and smiled,

"All right folks, you've all but mastered stunners, today though we're going for maiming rather then incapacitating, now who can tell me the downfalls to using a stupefy on a group of dark wizards?" Looking a bit nervous at the mention of maiming the group shifted a bit before Ginny spoke up,

"If there's a group of them they can just Rennervate their allies, unless you can take them all out at once stunning would be pointless," Grinning Lilly nodded enthusiastically,

"Very good!" Now, who can give me the pros and cons of the blasting curse?" Susan Bones stepped forward for this one,

"Well, as far as pros go it can cause alot of damage to a wide area and most defiantly make sure your enemies aren't going anywhere soon, the cons are collateral damage as well as innocents being caught in the blast." Giving the redhead a winning smile Lilly chirped,

"Ten points to Hufflepuff! Now this is the point of this lesson, Confringo is a great spell because lets be perfectly honest here, who doesn't like to blow shit up? But it has limitations, just like all the nastier curses out there, trust me you do not want to see what an over charged bonebreaker does to the human body, there's a reason they're called curses after all.

"Auror's are allowed to use what the Ministry has decided to collectively call the 'Dark Arts but frown on your average witch or wizard using them, and that's why for every Death Eater captured or on the rare occasion killed four to five light wizards fell. Those who stayed true to the light but used any means necessary to win were called 'Gray Wizards' and were universally feared by the Death Eaters and I have under good authority utterly despised by Voldemort."

She waited for the collective flinch from her gathered friends and was pleased to see progress there, moving on she continued, "My mum and dad were amongst some of the most notorious Gray Wizards out there, they and the Longbottoms cut a swath through the Dark Lord's forces by not following the rules, guns, explosives, nastier dark curses and muggle traps were the name of the game."

Smirking at the group she spun on a tip toe and yelled, "_Confringo!"_ as she whipped her wand at the target Professor Flitwick had set up at the end of the room, the mannequin blew apart in a fiery ball of destruction that was contained by several shield charms. Turning back to the stunned crowd she asked,

"Now, would you say a Dark Wizard would be less inclined to mess with you if he was worried _that_ was heading his way rather then a stunner?" Ron of all people actually managed to ask a very good question, she really needed to remember to be nicer to him, ah well.

"Wouldn't using these curses make us as bad as Dark Wizards?" Nodding Lilly began twirling her wand absently as she started pacing back and forth,

"There's a danger yes, but my big three are the blasting, cutting, and bonebreaker curses mixed with our standard charms, if I hear any of you using the disemboweling or necrosis curses I'll personally turn you in to the Auror's myself. Curses like that are meant to prolong the suffering of the victim and that's not what we're after, we aren't sadists we're pragmatists, kill the bad guys as fast and painlessly as possible and go home, that's the creed of the Gray Wizard." Lee Jordan then piped in with,

"What about the Unforgivables?" Wincing remembering her own experiences and use of the curses she shook her head,

"Having experienced them all let me explain something, the Cruciatus curse is next to useless in combat unless you're just trying to trip someone up long enough to catch them, its a torture tool and nothing more, so it serves no purpose to those of us who don't get our yayas from hurting other people." She received a solemn nod from Neville as she finished with this,

"Now the Imperius could serve a purpose I suppose, if you found a Death Eater safe house you could always Imperio the lookout to carry a bomb inside to his mates and take the lot of them out, but that is like Susan pointed out before, collateral damage and risky to innocents." The group was looking about a bit uneasily with how casually flippant she had sounded but they reserved their judgement, finally she met the gaze of all 27 club members before taking her glasses off and rubbing her eyes. Sighing she finally continued,

"The killing curse ...Avada Kedavra..., its unique, hits a guaranteed kill, unblockable, and when it hits a body no damage is done to the victim, they just...fall..." Images of Cedric and the Ponce rolled through her mind a moment before she got back on track, "Oddly enough, when the curse hits inanimate objects it explodes like a bomb, I honestly have no idea why. It is in my personal opinion that the killing curse is useless to Gray Wizards, and even more so those who wish to stay in the light, you have to focus your hatred and use it as an extension of your will with only one desire, to kill your target.

"It uses a ridiculous amount of your magic core to fire off and if you lose focus at all its more likely to blow your wand up then anything else...no...the Unforgivables are not part of our arsenal..." Trailing off she failed to notice the worried stares of her friends as she turned around and repaired the blown apart dummy with a few waves of her wand, "Everyone take a turn trying to blow the dummy up, don't worry about damaging anything Professor Flitwick has it covered." With that she leaned against the wall and began lightly tossing a few rings in her hand, lost in silent contemplation she hadn't noticed Hermione standing beside her until she spoke.

"So, did you want to talk about what's on your mind?" Starting slightly Lilly blinked rapidly and glanced over to her girlfriend giving her a warm smile,

"Oh hey brown eyes, umm," gripping the hand holding the rings into a fist she shook her head in annoyance, "I've got plans within plans and I'm just trying to keep it all strait while at the same time trying to teach our friends how to survive what is to come, all the while our ineffective government kicks and screams the entire way trying to stop me, its...getting trying." Hermione said nothing at first then glanced at Lilly's clenched fist,

"What's with the rings?" Smiling devilishly her emerald eyes began glowing warmly for the first time since the lecture started,

"Oh, these are a rather nasty contingency plan if I'm denied what I want, its...not my first choice but I'm willing to make the sacrifice to do what needs to be done." Now very curious Hermione tried to get a better answer then that, Lilly just shook her head sending her hair waving, "Sorry hon, suffice it to say there's an off chance that the Wizengamot may take advantage of the fact that I'm a woman now to whip out an archaic law or two, this is my shield, less said the better."

Now pouting Hermione observed the twins blowing up most of the far end of the room, their cackling brought a smile to both witches lips, never a dull moment with those two, eventually Ginny, Susan, Daphne and Tracey all pulled off quick powerful casts but the show stopper had to be Neville. Hermione thought the fireball from hell might have something to do with the small blonde girl holding onto Neville's free hand, Lilly had a wry grin on her face as she met Hermione's eyes.

"Something tells me we should start placing bets on those two with the twins, I give it...Halloween, no later then Christmas," Hermione scoffed at that,

"No thank you, betting against you is never a good idea," conceding the point they remained silent until the hour was up, congratulating everyone on a job well done she dismissed the group and waited till the room fully cleared before cleaning up the mess. After everything was put back in its place the two made their way back to Gryffindor tower, Hermione smiled as a rather naughty idea came to mind and as they passed a broom closet she came to a stop, pushing the door open Lilly let out a yelp as she was pulled inside by the waist.

Hermione closed the door behind her and cast locking and silence charms on it, pushing the now confused Lilly to the wall Hermione kissed her deeply, Lilly's eyes suddenly glowed bright enough to light the closet in emerald sunshine as she embraced her girlfriend.

Argus Filch was not a nice man by anyone's standards, and while curfew hadn't been called quite yet he was still on the prowl to ruin one of these little brats day, following Mrs. Norris through the halls the cats ears suddenly perked up as she ran down the hall to face a locked broom closet, grinning maliciously Filch was about to slam the door open when he noticed the occasional green glow through the cracks. Eyes widening in fear he scooped up his cat and backpeddled quickly, only one thing he knew cast an emerald light like that and the last time he'd tried to give her detention she'd apparated him into the Black lake, he was content to go find easier prey then mess with the Lady of Slytherin a second time.

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><p>A week later found Halloween come and gone, and Lilly had caused a bit of an upset by excusing herself from the position of Seeker on the Quiditch team with the reasoning she needed to focus on her academics, most of the Gryffindor's were mollified though when she offered to coach her replacement Ginny Weasley. When finally cornered by the four redheads and asked the real reason she looked sheepishly between them,<p>

"See here's the thing guys, umm, I've been practicing and well...while I still love flying the game just doesn't hold my attention anymore, so I figured I'd give Ginny a chance to play with all three of you for a season, I'm not going to lie half the team being Weasley's amuses me so yeah..." The twins of course grinned at this and Ginny gave her an appreciating smile, Ron of course felt abandoned, that wasn't getting tiring at all.

Entering the Great Hall Lilly plopped down next to a distracted Hermione and began digging into some eggs when Neville handed her a newspaper with a despondent look on his face, glancing at the headline she froze solid, it read "_Dementors Abandon Azkaban, Death Eaters Escape!" _Looking at her friends wide eyed she dropped the paper and held her head in both hands, "Bollocks..." Finishing breakfast she and Hermione were on there way to Runes when they saw Filch hanging up a plaque, approaching it Hermione gasped after a moment of reading while Lilly glared at the offending message,

_'Educational Decree Number 23-Dolores Jane Umbridge has been appointed to the post of Hogwarts High_ Inquisitor'

Sighing while guiding Hermione away Lilly came to a decision, '_Oh well, nothing for it, I guess she's going to have to be dealt with sooner then anticipated, Merlin I hate having to waste contingency plans.'_

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><p><strong>First off I'm aware that Lilly is teaching curses that are frowned upon but she has the tacit approval of Madam Bones and Professor Flitwick, so long as Umbridge remains oblivious to whats being taught so much the better, don't worry this is going to get fun. So yeah, Butterfly Effect time here, I'll explain later but lets just say Voldemort lost alot of human resources when Malfoy Manor exploded at the beginning of the term and he needs to gather his forces. Looking forward to drawing in another main character soon...hehe...<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

_**Please REVIEW folks, nine reviews for 1200 views last chapter was just...sad... Anyway I hope you all like where I'm going to take a specific character, chances are my next update will be to Never Alone since Jakes coming over to help me troubleshoot the outline. Who knows though, get enough response to this one I may put it on the backburner for another week. Also went for the old school brit spelling of artefakt, no complaining kiddos.**_

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><p>There were just some things that Lilly Potter could not explain about being a woman, she was operating under a handicap of spending fifteen years as a bloke and many of the intricacies had to be explained to her, usually accompanied by the typically confusing reasoning behind them. So it really didn't strike her as odd that she had no idea why she had just caught three sixth year boys in her bedchambers going through her things, and it certainly didn't surprise her that she had no idea why they were trying to make off with her knickers.<p>

That being said, not knowing the whys of a situation involving a ladies undergarments being made off with by three young men who'd taken extreme steps to bypass dozens of wards wasn't really relevant; she was aware it probably had to do with something she was unfamiliar with which on average meant sex or one of its many fetishes. So after stunning the would be thieves she vanished their clothing, stuck a pair of Lavender's knickers on each of their heads and had Dobby apparate them to be dropped in the Great Hall at dinner time, disproportionate retribution at its finest.

Whistling cheerfully as she entered the common room she saw Neville talking quietly with the twins, the three boys saw her approach and they all looked a bit sheepish, Gred or Forge coughed lightly then asked,

"So was the information accurate?" Nodding appreciativly she gave the trio a winning smile,

"Indeed it was, thank you gents, while I have no desire whatsoever to know what they wanted them for dinner will surely be interesting tonight." Her mirthless chuckle and gleaming eyes made them fear for the misguided boys in her clutches but Lilly was one of theirs so she had to be warned, pranking each other was all well and good but don't mess with family. Deciding to end the conversation before they were drawn too far into Lilly's web of vengence Neville motioned for the door portal,

"Well all right then, shall we go meet Hermione for Herbology? Class starts in twenty minutes after all?" She followed Neville while waving absently to the twins pouting a bit,

"She didn't wait for us? Not like her at all," Neville shrugged lightly at that,

"Said she wanted to mail a letter to her parents before class, notice you two have been spending a lot of time together lately," Grinning coyly she made eye contact with Neville while raising her brows up and down,

"And I've noticed you and Miss Lovegood have been nigh inseparable for the past week, is something going on there?" Surprising her by laughing rather then blushing he gave her a brief smirk,

"Lets hope so," chortling a bit she fist bumped him,

"Atta boy Nev knew you had it in you!" Before he could respond they heard the all too familiar sound of a ferret chattering at his betters, rounding the corner Malfoy and his gang had formed a rough semi-circle around Hermione who looked completely disinterested in the taunts being thrown her way.

Hell Lilly wasn't even that worried, the spells she'd taught Hermione would put most aurors on the ropes much less Draco, the prat in question continued his tirade as the two Gryffindors stood behind him, looking about she noted with some satisfaction that none of the picture frames were currently inhabited. Pleased Dumbles wouldn't be hearing about this one Lilly winked at Hermione over Draco's shoulder and decided to see how this played out,

"So Granger we always knew you had a thing for Potter, but now what are you going to do, hope she's a clam diver now?" Well, to be fair however crude it may be he wasn't far off the mark, but far be it from Lilly to inform him of it; Hermione just shook her head with a knowing smirk on her lips while wryly replying,

"Malfoy if I didn't know better I'd say you were hoping she'd give you a roll, although that would mean you'd been with Harry Potter which in a very messed up science fiction manner would make you a poof," resisting the urge to snort Neville covered his mouth while Lilly made a disgusted face at the thought of Malfoy touching her, ick. Malfoy began seething as he took a step towards Hermione, voice grating out,_  
><em>

"When my father hear's about this insult you filthy mudblood whore-" Lilly walked up and grabbed his shoulder spinning him around, he had an indignent sneer on his face right up to the point where he met her glowing eyes and wide grin,

"'Ello lover boy," with a flick of her finger Hermione and Neville downed his crew with several silent stunners, before Draco knew what happened he was the last man standing. Casting silent bodybinder, levitation and silence charms on the Malfoy heir she put a finger under his chin and pulled the terrified youth to the point their noses nearly touched.

Never losing the grin Lilly cooed, "Oh you just had to call my Hermione such a naughty word, that's right, _mine, _so next time you decide it would be a good idea to act out on your inbred bigotry well," spreading her free hand next to his head she crooned, "_Sacrificet Mihi Fiendfyre." _Even Neville and Harmione backed off as the demonic serpent of fire erupted in Lilly's palm, hissing at the creature she had summoned the unholy fire twirled around her hand leaving it unburned.

Draco looked like he was about to loose control of his bladder, with a thin smile Lilly whispered, "This is your final warning, mess with me if you want but you leave my girl out of this, I trust we have an understanding," crushing the fiery demon in her palm banishing it back to whence it came she released the charms on Draco and stepped over his sobbing form.

Sighing in annoyance she hooked her arms through both her friends while shaking her head leading them forward, "And now we're going to be late for class, ugh." As they marched away Hermione found her voice,

"Dear, was that actually fiendfyre?" Grinning then letting out far too feminine of a giggle Lilly frowned and tried to reign in the girly before responding,

"Nope, illusion charm, I _can_ summon fiendfyre if I wanted and probably control it, but why risk hurting anyone when all I wanted to do was put the fear of god in the jumped up tosser?" Both her friends relaxed at that and the rest of the day passed without incident, after a rather spirited snog session with Hermione Lilly wandered into her dorm and fell face first onto her bed, _'Two more days and your free Sirius,_' she thought with a tired smile as sleep stole over her.

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><p>Bellatrix Lestrange was a slightly disillusioned witch at the moment, sure she'd done some nasty things in the last war, tortured, killed, maimed so on and so forth but that was what she was raised to do. Really, as a scion of the Black family she was obligated to follow the dark arts and listen to her assigned husbands demands and to enjoy it, so she had tried and succeeded to a point. The problem was, she despised Rodolphos with a passion, he and his brother were pure-bloods and that was their only saving grace, she was fairly certain neither man had a cognizant thought outside of "Shag, get pissed, kill."<p>

Sighing as she prowled the dilapidated relic known as the Riddle Mansion that she was forced to reside in Bellatrix did her best not to make a noise lest she disturb her chosen master, or rather the shadow of the man she use to consider her master. Tom Riddle had been a gorgeous man, chisel jawed, brilliant eyes, perfectly coiffed hair and a bum to die for, as the war progressed he became less...human, and near the end he had been more dark creature then man.

Truthfully at that point she'd already been too deep to turn back, she was still being the dutiful wife following her husbands lead while at the same time doing the masters bidding to the best of her ability; she'd put her all into her efforts in the hopes of being recognized as an equal and in doing so she was the first the Dark Lord attempted to rescue.

So when she had been freed from Azkaban by this mentally unstable ...mutated...thing... that claimed to be the Dark Lord Bellatrix began reconsidering her choices, heartfully and completely. The Black's were near extinct, Bellatrix herself was despised by the magical world over and the pure-bloods had no leadership outside of this snake/girl/wizard constantly muttering about a prophecy and "Goddamn gray wizards". Contemplating her future and trying her best to avoid the Dark Lords random minutes long cruciatus sessions Bellatrix began considering other options and new masters.

Willing herself to ignore Wormtails screams Bellatrix made for a set of double doors and found herself on an open balcony above a frost kissed garden, this wasn't what she wanted from her life, not in the slightest.

"Time to find a new path..." as Lord Voldemort's former right hand woman plotted her escape, Peter Pettigrew screamed in agony as he bled from his eyes wishing he had never even considered getting involved with the Dark Lord.

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><p>If Lilly were to pick one emotion to describe her current mood it would have to absolutely livid, it was three days before the Wizenmagot meeting and she'd been on her way to meet up with her lovely girlfriend to finalize their plans when she'd been bashed in the skull by a bludger bat. Normally that wouldn't be enough to take her, but seeing as how she wasn't expecting it in the slightest well...she'd admit it, she'd been caught completely off guard.<p>

Feeling as if throwing up was probably a good option she began tentatively evaluating several points, namely her arms and legs were tied to a chair, not good, her mouth also gagged prevented her from speaking and if she was a normal fifth year this all would probably concern her; as it stood it was a minor annoyance. Her glasses had obviously been destroyed when she'd been bitch smacked by a bat so her vision would likely be blurry if she hadn't been blindfolded, but the voices...oh the voices...

"Is she alive?" Malfoy, _'Oh Draco the things I'm going to do to you with that bat...'_ then the most damning sound of all,

"Hem-Hem, remove her gag, we need to question her now," Oh-ho-ho, now its on, as the blindfold was removed she saw the bleary and ever lovely High Inquisitor of Hogwarts in all her disgusting pink cardigan wrapped glory. Interestingly enough Draco didn't seem too keen on this turn of events, as the Umbitch continued to examine her the blonde prat spoke up again,

"Look, is it really necessary to tie her down like this?" Umbridge and his own lackies turned to stare at him before the toad responded,

"She must be taught a lesson young Malfoy, you know this is how we handle problems as pure-bloods, we must teach our inferiors the errors of their ways." The toad turned back to Lilly as the gag was removed, spitting up a disgusting wad of coagulated phlegm Lilly decided to turn the fear factor up to eleven and faced her captor,

"I'm going to spoon feed you the bloody cruciatus for hours before I'm done with you bitch," The look of shock that crossed Umbridge's face was a reward in on itself, she expected a broken begging girl, not one already plotting vengeance. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and Lillith was ready to live up to her name sake.

Glaring at Crabbe and Goyle as her eyes began glowing Lilly didn't restrain the crooked grin that stole its way across her lips, 'Always easy to intimidate the weak minded' she thought grimly. "I'm going to hurt you all, slowly and painfully, I will sunder your flesh, burn your bones, and curse your names, count on it." Glancing away from the two disturbed boys she glared at Umbridge her smoldering gaze showing nothing but complete contempt.

Coughing lightly in a mockery of the toads manner she asked, "Well, I believe I'm here for a reason, what do you want Ministry Appointed Instructor Umbridge? I'm assuming something asinine like am I plotting to help Dumbledore overthrow Fudge or the like? Can we get this over with I'm missing a study session right now and I'd rather your little power trip not interfere with my OWL's anymore then it already has." Trying to regain lost ground Umbridge scowled and lowered herself uncomfortably close to Lilly's bloodied face,

"Its High Inquisitor to you and you will tell me everything I want to know, you have no control over this," before Lilly could react the Umbitch grabbed her jaw and forced it open dumping something down her throat. Gagging and trying not swallow Umbridge smashed her palm against the teens nose and mouth preventing her from breathing, eventually reflex kicked in and she swallowed the mystery substance. As an unnatural calm began spreading across her body she stopped resisting and gave in to the potions magics, all the while screaming trapped in her own mind.

Looking far too pleased Umbridge asked, "What is your name?" Trying to resist and failing Lilly emotionlessly stated,

"I was born Harry James Potter, as of recently I am now known as Lillith Alice Potter," twisiting her disgusting worm like lips into a sadastic grin she then continued,

"What is your position in Dumbledore's inner circle?" It must be said, that she was actually rather proud of herself for being snarky even under truth serum,

"I'm not _anything_ to Dumbledore's inner circle you single minded dimwit, I was nothing more then a piece in his game and I decided I was no longer going to allow anyone to use me." That seemed to throw her for a loop, Draco was looking at her quizzically as if he couldn't quite comprehend what she was saying; for her part Lilly was simply trying to bring her mental barriers up against this vile potion.

"What are you plotting at then, why lie about You-Know-Who being back, why start a defense club, why are you resisting the ministry?!" Still under sway of the veritaserum but doing her best to resist she ground out,

"I...I'm...I...grrr...I'm sorry Madam Umbridge...I mustn't tell lies" Finally locking her mind down she shrugged off the potion and sent a wave of uncontrolled magic through her body splintering her bonds and the chair she sat in while sending everyone flying. Eyes glowing in emerald fury she summoned her wand from Umbridge's desk and cast _Oblivate's_ on Crabbe and Goyle, meeting gazes with Draco she briefly entered his mind and was mildly shocked to see that he honestly thought this was all a bad idea.

Huh, only reason he went through with it was Umbridge promised leniency on his father for being "misguided" on his pursuit of Pure-Blood supremacy despite the fact he was scared shitless of Lilly; feeling an iota of begrudging respect for trying to protect his family she struck him with a paralyzing charm.

Kneeling down beside him she glared into his eyes, "Draco, today's your lucky day, I did after all give you free reign to come after me so for now, you get to be the Boy-Who-Lived, now watch what happens when I stop being nice," turning his head so he could watch the proceedings she stood and stretched lithely while glancing over at the downed toad with a toothy grin.

Prowling towards Umbridge as the rotund woman attempted to stand Lilly sent one pointed toe boot strait into the bitch's gut causing her to double over in pain, grinning in a manner that would have even Hermione concerned she drawled out,

"My my my, I have to say I'm almost impressed you figured out that the castle only protects me from magical threats, I'm not so impressed that you hadn't realized I _myself_ was a threat, and according to Draco over there he even warned you, pity you're as slow as you are incompetent." As Umbridge looked up at the wrathful teen her hate overrode her pain,

"You foul half-blood whore, I'll have you sent to Azkaban for this, I'll-" kicking the would be professor again, and a third time for good measure Lilly began cackling manically,

"You have no power! Don't you get that?! Your power was something handed to you by a politician, when you're faced with someone who does not respect your authority you have NOTHING! You're going to serve one final purpose, I'd been putting this off due to being painfully aware of the hypocrisy but as of now this move is the only way to muzzle a mad dog such as yourself," voice turning mocking she pointed her wand at the downed undersecretary, "Now High Inquisitor Umbridge, _IMPERIO!_"

After giving Umbridge her orders Lilly stunned then apparated Draco and his minions into the girls lavatory near the Slytherin common rooms, she obliviated the details but made Draco keep the feelings that had him so terrified of her; honestly at this point it was be a real waste to erase that kind of progress. After reentering Umbridges office she cast a few spells to clean up the room then with a bit more effort then she'd like to admit levitated the vacant eyed toad onto her chair; hopefully the spell held till tomorrow night she'd never actually had a chance cast the Imperius before so it was a work in progress.

That done Lilly slowly made her way up to the medical wing, casting a disillusion charm on herself she avoided Poppy as she raided the potions stock, downing everything necessary to heal herself, (plus pocketing a few extra pepper-up's just in case) she made her way to her final stop. Approaching the great hall she conjured a mirror and made sure she'd managed to clean all the blood from her face and clothes, satisified for the time being she entered the hall and headed towards her favorite pair of professors at the high table. Flitwick and MacGonagall looked up from their conversation as Lilly stood before them grinning a bit sheepishly,

"Yes Miss Potter?" The Charms professor asked, scratching the back of her head she replied,

"Err, it appears I was pranked while I was napping and someone made off with my glasses, I could conjur my own replacement pair but I have next to no idea how to detect my prescription sooo..." both professors gave her warm smiles, Flitwick did a quick scan of her eyes and MacGonagall deftly transfigured a spoon into a rather fetching pair of cateye glasses. Not able to suppress the annoying female emotion she let out a mild squeak,

"Cute! Thanks professors!" Both smiled and nodded to their favored student as she slipped on the new eyewear and made for her girlfriend who was in deep conversation with Neville, Luna, and Daphne, 'A claw, and a snake hanging out with the lions, who would have thought.' Sliding in next to the lovely Miss Granger Lilly began grabbing platters with gusto, that was the trade off for fast healing potions, you were bloody ravenous for hours afterwords and there was little to do for it. Hermione discreetly grabbed her left hand under the table as Daphne gave her a once over,

"You look a bit rumpled Potter, what happened?" Snorting and deciding that these four would make a rather decent inner circle (she'd have to pull Susan Bones in at some point) Lilly shook her head in annoyance,

"Umbridge cajoled Malfoy and his bookends to beat my skull in with a bludger bat and drag me to her office, she was trying to dose me with truth serum when Draco had a change of heart and stunned the bitch when he realized what she was up to. In the immortal words of sailors across the world, I could really use a drink." Her friends stared at her wide-eyed while Hermione practically crushed her hand, brown met emerald as she soothed her better half,

"Don't worry I'm fine, I'm swimming in potions at the moment and I jammed all three boys into a girls toilet stall, I'm hoping a first year finds them," looking a bit more reassured they broke eye contact to see Luna shaking her head sending her radish earrings swaying,

"Daddy's been reporting on the Ministries excesses for years, its only getting worse it seems..." Daphne actually looked appalled,

"That plebeian dared to strike the heir to two Ancient and Noble houses? Seriously? What did she hope to gain?" Snorting Lilly dug into her steak and kidney pie and swallowed a bite before replying,

"She was rambling about Pure-Blood supremacy the entire time, honestly Daph I think the woman is just a small minded bigot that can't see past her own nose, hell my moms line can be traced back to a Gryffindor squib for crying out loud. I hold no illusions that blood purity means anything but I have more connections to the ancient houses then that self righteous bitch could ever hope for..." That actually seemed to grab Neville and Hermione's attention, looking away from Luna for the first time since Lilly had sat down he asked,

"Wait you're a descendant of Griffindor?" Smirking as she dug back into her pie Lilly nodded as she licked the gravy from her fork,

"You and me both Nev, Hermione here is actually a descendant of a Ravenclaw squib as well, all our genealogies are available at the library, its just no one looks into them. Lessee, I'm fifth cousins with Daphne here, third cousins with you Nev, second cousins with Susan Bones, and I _think_ I'm something like fifth cousin twice removed with the Weaselys. Our society has some serious inbreeding problems." Hermione looked at her in wide eyed shock,

"I'm...I'm descended from Ravenclaw?!" Staring at her girlfriend incredulously Lilly nodded,

"Brown eyes I _still_ have no idea how the hell you ended up in Gryffindor, but yes, I got bored a couple weeks ago and looked up everyone I considered friends, its not like its difficult most of its magically recorded without a human interacting with it." She neglected to mention that it was in the restricted section which she had been abusing her heir status like there was no tomorrow to raid, ah well details, "Hmm...you know if we find an artefakt of Ravenclaw or Gryffindor you two could probably use them to channel a claim for the house titles, that'd be hilarious honestly, three students in the same year claiming founders titles..." The table grew silent before Daphne let out a sharp laugh,

"Well, I do believe we now have a project for the holidays!" Chuckling in agreement the friends soon finished their meals and stood to go their separate ways when there was the sharp *crack* of a apparation, all turned to the head table as three boys fell to the floor. After a moment they began stirring and it became very clear that the only stitch of clothing on any of them was a pink pair knickers on their heads, coughing in false innocence Lilly began walking away shaking her head,

"Right, shoulda clarified to Dobby that I meant dinner yesterday, ah well live and learn," Leaving her befuddled friends behind Lilly's laughter followed her out of the room.

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><p>Sirius Black was a nervous wreck as he paced back and forth before the fireplace, he'd built up his defense to the greatest extent of his power and lined up all the documentation for his Goddaughter's near endless contingency plans in hopes to outwit the Wizengamot. Lilly for her part didn't seem overly concerned at all, if anything she looked mildly amused as he prowled, eventually she broke out laughing and he cocked his head in confusion,<p>

"Whats so funny pup?" Eventually getting control of herself she lifted her glasses to wipe her eyes before answering,

"You're so Padfoot! Your mannerisms are so like an irritated dog that I can't help but laugh at it, I keep expecting you to cock an ear in confusion when you hear a loud noise, I'm sorry but-" as he let out an annoyed growl she fell to the ground laughing even harder. Eventually he cracked a grin as well then cast a few tickling charms at the raven haired teen who eventually admitted defeat to the assault, standing up still giggling she gave her Godfather a chagrined smile before wrapping her arms around him in a bone crushing hug.

Sighing Lilly stayed that way for a moment before she muttered, "Whatever happens Sirius we're family, you and Hermione are all I have, maybe Moony too if we can pry him away from Dumbles...I may do things today that you'll look down on but I swear we'll win...we have to..." returning the hug Sirius smiled down at his goddaughter while shaking his head,

"No worries pup, your plan is sneaky as they come, we can do this, _now_ are you ready to make fools of politicians and ladder climbers alike?" Returning the wide grin she winked up at Sirius,

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

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><p>Bellatrix was ready to bolt the moment she was approached by the drawn out looking Lucius Malfoy, he handed her a flask and a bag before he whispered,<p>

"The Dark Lord wishes you to attend this Wizengamot meeting in my stead, the polyjuice potion in the flask should last you for a few hours, and try not to mess up my clothes, the Master will expect a report immediately afterwards." Cocking her head she met the ashen faced blondes tired gaze,

"Why would the Dark Lord bother with something so convoluted?" Grimacing Lucius closed his eyes and looked like he was counting down trying to stay calm,

"Because he's sending me on some ridiculously dangerous errand to recover an artefact from some seaside cave but he also wants eyes on the ground for the Potter brats first meeting, there is apparently some attempt at removing her title involved and the Dark Lord wants to know all the details, now if you please?" Nodding in a resigned fashion Bellatrix took the items and entered a washroom, stripping down naked she paused as she saw her gaunt pale form in the mirror, restorative potions or not it was going to be weeks before she looked normal again. For the first time feeling oddly resentful about her long imprisonment she downed the potion and suffered the indignity of becoming Lucius Malfoy, changing into his robes she exited the room and sighed.

"Nothing more then an over glorified spy," she grumbled in annoyance, walking to the fireplace she tossed in some floo powder and exited in the Ministry building, much to her shock the lobby was filled with hundreds of witches and wizards. Worming her way through the masses she finally made it to the minister entrance, slipping in she did her best to play Malfoy as she headed for her seat which essentially boiled down to being an aloof ponce. Sitting she waited with the rest of the Wizengamot to gather and finally caught sight of her target; well target was a misnomer, her goal was to watch the former Boy-Who-Lived and write a report on it, boring.

This Lillith seemed to be supremely self confident and almost annoyed by the proceedings around her, Bellatrix couldn't help but note how much the girl resembled herself from better times as she prowled around the defendants chair in the chambers center. What drew her attention though was the smile, she'd seen it before on her masters face decades ago, a wolf let loose amongst the sheep that was dismissed by all those around her, just as she wished it. For the first time this evening she was honestly intrigued, as the rest of the Wizengamot finally seated the buffoon Fudge slammed a gavel on his podium.

Bellatrix rolled her eyes at this, even she knew that the gavel wasn't used in British courts, just more of the ineffective fools attempts to draw attention to himself, remembering she was supposed to be Lucius Bella schooled her features and tried to pay attention to the proceedings.

"This meeting of the Wizengamot has now commenced, as many of you are aware the recent...accident Mr. Harry Potter has experienced has left him in a different form, one in which he is was able to wrest the title of the most Ancient and Noble House of Slytherin from the past and claim it for herself." _'Ah, already trying to make the girl sound like a thief'_ Bellatrix mused, a juvenile tactic but one fitting a man such as Fudge, young Miss Potter for her part just smiled thinly up at the Minister of Magic.

Continuing Fudge dropped his tone to a sardonic level, "Which begs the question how she was able to do so, seeing as how there hasn't been a heir apparent for nearly forty years," Obviously given the floor the young woman in green began pacing, eventually she looked up to the sea of plum robes surrounding her and smiled again.

"Well, it so happens by the ancient laws of Right of Conquest I was able to claim the title and house after defeating my sworn enemy thrice, although its more like six times at this point with one draw, the shade of Salazar keeps insisting that was a win though." There was an obvious stir amongst the gathered nobles before Fudge interjected with another question,

"And who was this enemy that you stole the title from?" Resisting the urge to roll her eyes again at the childish attempts to make the Potter girl seem a thief she bit her tongue and listened to the response,

"Well his given name was Tom Marvolo Riddle, a former half-blood student of Hogwarts," with that she conjured the name in the air then began rearranging the letters into a new phrase, Bellatrix felt her heart seize a moment when the girl was done. "Although he used an anagram to rename himself, I suppose the bastard thought it was clever that 'vold de mort' meant flight from death in French," the girl stated as 'I AM LORD VOLDEMORT' floated above her head. Turning to meet the Minister's gaze Bellatrix could see the man was turning a dozen shades of red and purple before he bellowed,

"VOLDEMORT IS DEAD HE HAS NOT RETURNED!" Snorting Lilly twirled a finger in the air as she conjured a leather recliner and plopped down into it,

"Odd I seem to have inherited an ancient house and roughly nine billion pounds sterling from him by defeating his arse repeatedly over the past fifteen years, I suppose it's only my imagination. Although, if a certain incompetent politician hadn't been so insistent to have any news of the Dark Lord's return silenced we could have had Barty Crouch Jr. testify, sadly you had him kissed." Grinning up at the now maroon faced Fudge Lilly let all emotion drop from her face, "You know my claim is legal, why am I here defending myself against baseless accusations for the second time this year."

Fudge finally got to the point, '_Thank Merlin' _Bellatrix thought, seriously as interesting as it was to see a teenager rip into the minister she had more important things to do.

"Well, since you _are_ the heiress of a long dead line certain rules had to be pulled from the vaults, since you're obviously only a woman you are obligated to take a ministry appointed husband and produce heirs to make sure that the line of Slytherin and Potter does not die out again." The sickly smile on the mans face made Bellatrix's stomach churn while most of the female delegates began stirring, rage beginning to coalesce, Lillith Alice Potter-Slithern just smirked, her emerald eyes now glowing.

"Heh...well, outside of this interesting set of events since it _is_ my first sitting in front of the Wizengamot as a full fledged member I am allowed to bring a personal grievance to the forefront am I not?" Fudge looked a bit uncertain and glanced to his Undersecretary, Umbridge looking a bit glassy eyed simply nodded, eventually realizing that he couldn't do anything about this delaying tactic Fudge sighed out,

"Yes, you do have that right." Grinning Lilly hopped off her recliner and vanished it beginning to pace,

"Brilliant, well here it is, recent evidence has made itself apparent that Sirius Black, best friend of my deceased father James Potter was in fact not the secret keeper for my family. Da and Sirius were pranksters and they thought it would be the ultimate joke on the Dark Tosser if they made the most unlikely of people my parents secret keeper, Peter Pettigrew. Sadly what no one realized was the coward had already aligned himself with Voldemort and well, history speaks of the end result.

Bellatrix nodded subconsciously at that, Pettigrew was a pathetic specimen if there ever was one and everything the Potter-Slytherin heir said was true, although Fudge obviously didn't agree,

"WHAT EVIDENCE DO YOU HAVE!?" Lilly simply rolled her eyes then began staring Fudge down,

"I want you to swear that Sirius will have an honest trial under this auspicious body while under the effects of veritaserum, after that we'll discuss your need for me to take...a husband..." Fudge glared down at the raven haired teen then pulled out his wand. '_You idiotic fool'_ Bellatrix thought, you're being so obviously played its pathetic, the girl realized a half hour ago she didn't even need to try,

"I Cornelius Fudge do so swear that if Sirius Black is brought before this body he will be given a fair trial," the response he expected from this was not what he received, Lilly fell on her bum as she began cackling manically, gasping for breath she looked to her right then said,

"Well you heard the man Padfoot, you have a clear shot for freedom," with that Sirius Orion Black appeared next to Lilly grinning brilliantly looking no worse for wear from his stint in Azkaban.

"No fair," Bellatrix mumbled to herself as her cousin hopped onto the upraised dais and pulled Lilly to her feet, glancing to Madam Bones he raised his brows and stated,

"Dear Madam, I do believe you and I have a date?" Smirking the war-witch pushed Sirius into the defendants chair and pulled out a bottle of veritaserum, glancing up to the now pale faced fudge she said,

"Can I have your confirmation that this is an authorized interrogation by the ministry?" Fudge, too stunned to actually think simply nodded, Amelia gave Sirius the three drops and thus began the hour long interrogation, it became obvious quite quickly that the man had not betrayed his friend and his family and felt nothing but remorse for the end results. They further embarrassed the ministry by making it very clear that he had never been formally charged or even given a trial, he'd simply been declared guilty and tossed to the dementors to be forgotten. As the impromptu interview ended Lilly stood up beside Sirius,

"It is obvious to me that my fathers dear friend is innocent, all those that agree that he should be cleared of all charges and given 10,000 galleons per year spent in Azkaban in reparations, raise your wands." The girl grinned viciously as the majority took her side, Fudge now regaining his enraged visage slammed his gavel against the podium,

"Agreed, Sirius Orion Black you are cleared of all charges and given the reparations of 10,000 galleons per year spent unjustly jailed, that does not affect the fact the young Lady Potter-Slytherin must take a husband though." Throwing her head back and cackling in a manner that had Bellatrix nodding in approval the raven haired heir just motioned to Sirius as she tried to catch her breath,

"I Sirius Orion Black do so claim the ancient title of Lord Black through the rights of heredity," as he stated this there was a brief flash and suddenly the Black family ring appeared on his right hand. Grinning even brighter now he glanced to Lilly while continuing, "And as Lord Black I declare my _goddaughter_ Lillith Alice Potter to be my direct Heir and offer her the option to become her father through adoption." Lilly grinned at Sirius and Bellatrix couldn't help mirroring it, this was brilliant, slipping on the heirs ring the girl chirped out,

"I Lillith Alice Potter do so accept the title of heir to the family Black and accept Sirius Orion Black as my adoptive father and patriarch for my affairs, including the right to arrange marriage contracts and arranging a way to keep the blood line alive." Both smirked up at the white faced Fudge as the ancient magics took hold and suddenly the ministry lost any ability to ever control the Potters or the Blacks, but Sirius wasn't done yet,

"Since my daughter and I are rather limited in family members I do so reinstate Andromeda Tonks into the family Black and extend the invitation to her husband Theodore and her daughter Nymphadora. I also dissolve the marriage contracts between my cousins and their husbands in the Lestrange and Malfoy families, if they wish to declare themselves loyal to the Family Black over their current allegiances they will be under the aegis of my name." Bellatrix gasped as her wedding band burned and fell off her hand, starring wide eyed at her cousin she felt the tendrils of bondage disappear in an instant and felt the familiar grin wrap its way over Lucius Malfoy's face,

"Dear cousin, I shall be taking you up on your offer soon." Before the meeting could break down any further Lilly spoke up one last time,

"Minister Fudge, I have one last complaint to file," Fudge, looking like a sack of a rotting potatoes at this point simply sighed,

"What is that miss Potter-Slytherin-Black," Smirking Lilly nodded lightly

"Black will do, but I wish to bring charges against your Undersecretary Umbridge, for she is the one who sent Dementors after me this summer, she has been torturing students with blood quills, a level two dark artefakt, and is planning on emulating the bloody Nazi's by subverting the government and implementing muggle-born concentration camps, I've already given Madam Bones all the pertinent evidence and wish to press formal charges." Before anyone could react Dolores Umbridge snapped out of whatever funk she had been in and pointed her wand at Lillith Alice Potter-Slytherin-Black,

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Bit shorter then normal but I'm working on three separate projects at the moment, I hope you all enjoy this it's setting the groundwork for where I want to take the Gray Witch and her merry band of miscreants, oh and as always, DO REVIEW, tata!**

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><p>Lilly knew she was in trouble the moment she was finished speaking, her tenuous grasp on Umbridge's Imperius curse snapped as the enraged woman balked at the thought of being held accountable for her actions. As the superior smile fell away from the raven haired witch's lips she stared at the slowly incoming green energy pulse with something akin to resignation, if she dove out of the way Sirius or Amelia would be hit by it, simple as that. This entire series of events was her goddamn fault, the wizarding world needed Amelia Bones to lead the Auror's in the upcoming war and she was <em>not<em> going to let her newly minted father die on her watch, he'd suffered enough and he deserved his life and freedom.

So, as all signs of her faux superiority complex fell away she smirked at her approaching executioner and remembered her impromptu philosophical lecture to her friends on the killing curse; figuring '_Why not_' she extended her hand at the approaching green light so similar to her own glowing eyes and threw her will against that of Dolores Jane Umbridge.

As energies she herself didn't quite understand began swirling around her outstretched hand she dumped her entire magical core into blocking the coalesced beam of hatred and watched it stop mere centimeters from herself. A sound no louder then a whisper on the wind seemed to flow from the curse, straining she heard her Death's playfully lilting voice,

'_Why fight so hard, are you that afraid of dying_?' Not quite knowing why Lilly's lips turned up into a sardonic grin as she thought back,

'_There's worse fates then death and I'll gladly walk the final path some day, I'm just a bad loser and refuse to let this fat toad end me here,'_ suddenly feeling as though approving laughter playfully kissed her mind she gave a parting quip then released the pent up energy as her world went black.

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><p>Sirius felt his world end the second the crazy bitch in the ugly sweater screamed the killing curse at his adoptive daughter, Lilly was a good three meters ahead of him and he watched in horror as she interposed herself between the sickly green curse and the two adults still standing by the defendants chair.<p>

He was powerless to do anything, as he had been for the past bloody decade he could do nothing to protect the child of his fallen best friend and the woman he had admired from afar; the earnest wiry boy turned sarcastic lithe young woman threw her right hand towards the curse and in an instant Sirius felt his skin prickle into gooseflesh as the entire room dropped to below freezing temperatures.

Every joule of latent energy was drawn into the woman before him as she threw her will against the killing curse, a swirling miasma of raw magic and emotion stopped the Avada Kedavra from touching his daughter leaving it hanging in midair. His shocked mind finally allowing him to move he rushed up to Lilly and heard her giggle out,

"Au revoir," then the killing curse rebounded off her splayed out hand and smacked the toad like woman in the face leaving herself dead by her own attack, flying backwards Lilly landed in her godfathers arms blood running from her eyes and nose smiling wistfully.

"LILLY!" Sirius screamed, shaking the catatonic young woman her emerald eyes cleared then focused on Siruis' face as she temporarily regained her composure,

"Hey Padfoot...apparently the killing curse tastes like bananas, who knew?" And with that she passed out.

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><p>As the Umbridge creature cast the killing curse at her newly anointed cousin Bellatrix sighed inwardly, '<em>Well boo, she was so interesting too,' <em>much to her surprise though the girl grinned as her eyes ignited trailing green fire and braced herself while extending out an open hand. Bellatrix along with the rest of the Wizengamot gaped openly as the room froze over and a fount of energy opened before the girl stopping the the unblockable curse dead in its tracks, her lips twitched up into a cold smile when suddenly the Avada Kedavra rebounded and struck the Undersecretary dead.

Bellatrix sat there dumbfounded as Sirius rushed up and caught the Potter girl as she went reeling backwards, seeing the girl sprawled out smiling and obviously alive caused Bella to giggle irrationally for a few seconds. Thankfully there was too much of an uproar for anyone to notice this rather uncharacteristic move from Lucius, the room was suddenly flooded with Auror's and reporters, apparently Fudge had half the papers in Britain here for his "defeat" of the Slytherin heir. Smirking she stood and made for the exit,

_'Well well, evening edition is going to be rather interesting,_' deciding that as soon as she made her report she would observe the girl on her own time Bellatrix flooed back to the Riddle Mansion with the beginnings of a new plan formulating.

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><p>Remus Lupin paced back in forth closely trailed by Sirius and Ms. Tonks, his mind racing as he processed everything his formerly felonious friend had told him while they waited for news on Harr...Lilly. That was taking some time to adapt to, his animal instincts kept telling him that his long dead friends child was a young woman despite his human mind still locking onto the image of the gangly boy he'd met on the Hogwarts Express. Growling without realizing it he glanced at the clock and sighed, plopping into the uncomfortable chair that seemed to be the going standard at Saint Mungo's he began rubbing his temples as he felt both his companions sit down next to him and each wrapped an arm around his shoulders.<p>

"Nothing could have been done about it Moony, Dumbledore kept all this to himself since the day James and Lily were murdered, hell my daughter-," at this Sirius smiled without realizing it, "lived the lies and it took her fifteen years to put it all together, don't beat yourself up over it." Remus sighed again letting his hands fall into his lap,

"I know but to think that everything that's befallen us, all the hardships Lilly has had to go through was all based on some barmy prophecy and a bunch of hairbrained conjuncture... Padfoot, we failed her, we failed her so badly I'm shocked she wants anything to do with us." Nymphadora smiled at that her blue hair momentarily returning to its normal pink hue,

"That is the thing though Remus, Harry and now Lilly only ever wanted one thing, family. You and Sirius are basically all she has, now that Mum, Da and I are back with the Black's we'll be there for her too. She won't look at this as you failing her, although I will admit from what I've been hearing she's become quite the vengeful little minx." Sirius grinned at that while bobbing his head quickly,

"You have no idea, I just need to teach her to become an animagus and she'll officially be a Marauder, the girl has Moony's smarts, James wit, and my lack of fucks to give, observing the chaos she stirs up has kept me entertained for weeks." Remus eyed his long time friend warily as he processed this, he'd learned long ago that anything Sirius approved of deserved such discretion, eventually cracking a smile at the mans grinning visage he simply shook his head when the door to the waiting room slammed open. Standing there was one Hermione Granger, her face tear stained but eyes hardened in resolve, behind her was Professor McGonagall worry obviously written in her posture.

"Is she ok?" Hermione frantically stated, Sirius had already enlightened both he and Ms. Tonks on the brunette's...interesting relationship with Lilly so Remus had no issues divulging information.

"The doctors say she'll make a full recovery but they want to observe her for the time being, apparently most of the damage done to her body was from releasing all her magic at once rather then the curse thrown at her." He neglected to mention that the amount of magic Lilly wielded was at such levels that he'd personally label her as a weapon of mass destruction, it wouldn't help the situation and it would probably anger the witches before him.

"Thank god, we didn't hear anything until the evening papers arrived, Albus wasn't allowed to be at the meeting due to Fudge's interference so even he had been in the dark," Remus did his best to not growl at Minerva's mention of the headmaster, instead he decided to bring up a sore point.

"On that note you're going to be needing a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Lilly deflected the killing curse right back at the vile woman, it apparently lost a majority of its power though so she's simply brain dead rather then dead dead." Both Hermione and Minerva started at this, apparently the papers had underplayed who had fired the curse initially, that wouldn't stay quiet long Umbridge had been universally disliked and Fudge's incompetence was now on public display.

"Is Lilly going to be in trouble for this?" Hermione asked with obvious worry, Miss Tonks laughed a bit at that,

"No way, Director Bones was in the path of that curse and as far as she's concerned the only reason she's not dead is because Lilly is crazy brave and took the shot instead," Hermione smiled at that as she replied fondly,

"Yeah that sounds like my Lilly, she's got this 'saving people thing' that makes her do all sorts of stupidly heroic deeds, I just wish it didn't typically involve slaying twenty meter long basilisks and chasing off dementors." Everyone even Minerva looked shocked, before they could question her there was a chuckle from the doorway, still in a hospital gown Lilly stood there leaning against the door frame, her long bare legs crossed as she smiled playfully,

"It was twenty-two meters and I didn't _plan_ on fighting the damn thing, Voldemorts soul shard was trying to possess Ginny and the snake was in my way, pity honestly I wouldn't mind a bloody huge monster at my beck and call." As the gathered adults stared at her in shock Hermione was across the room in a second arms wrapped around her girlfriend, after a moment she began hitting her lightly,

"Don't ever do something so incredibly...YOU again! Do you have any idea how scared I was?!" Before Lilly could apologize Hermione had pulled her into another hug then deeply kissed the witch, Minerva gaped openly while Sirius and Tonks just laughed, addressing the Deputy Headmistress Remus coughed a bit,

"Yes well it would appear that young miss Granger and Harry had a bit of a thing before the accident and well...the feelings didn't go away." Minerva still looking a bit shocked shook her head,

"Well, this will definitely present some problems in the future, although I dare say that Miss Potter's new found power and wealth will make people less likely to to object." Finally extricating herself from her lip lock Lilly threw in,

"Just call me Black for the time being, it'll help with all the titles I'm accumulating, and I'd appreciate it if you kept this between us for now, I personally don't give a damn what anyone thinks at this point but Hermione being of...my persuasion on top of being a muggle-born will invite too many chances for attack." Impressed at how well thought out that was the elderly woman nodded in understanding,

"As far as I'm concerned you started this relationship as a fifteen year old young man, you can't control who you love and I won't put a stop to it just...do yourself a favor and do not let Severus find out." Grimaces crossed the faces of all those present, Sirius then flashed a feral grin that caught both Remus and Lilly's attention, sounding slightly apprehensive Lilly asked,

"Dad, what are you planning?" Sirius' eyes widened and his grin lost its feral edge as true warmth took over obviously happy with his new moniker,

"Well my dear daughter it occurs to me that the Ministry owes me a great deal and Hogwarts is in desperate need of a DADA professor, it just so happens I'm a trained out of work Auror who wishes to spend more time with his family. The fact that Snivelus will be denied the position he lusts for so much would just be icing on the cake," A laugh cut through the room, its occupants were all shocked to see that it came from the normally stern Professor McGonagall.

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><p>After twenty minutes of visiting with her friends and family Lilly had been accosted by the second coming of Madam Pompfry and dragged back to her bed, sighing she banged her head against the headboard languishing in pure boredom. Her Hermione had to return to Hogwarts with Professor McGonagall and her dad, cousin and uncle in all but name went off to arrange Sirius' little prank, so it was nine at night on a Saturday and she was left to her own devices. Suddenly smiling wickedly she began giggling,<p>

"Left to my own devices in London on a weekend...whats a bored little rich girl to do?" Still smirking she cast a few illusion charms to make her jailers think she was still resting in bed and apparated to a muggle department store, lucky for her they were still open. Ignoring the stares (it isn't often that a gorgeous young woman in a hospital gown goes shopping right before closing) she grabbed a pair of skinny jeans, a low cut Ramone's t-shirt and a pair of red Chuck Taylor's and paid for the lot of it. Remembering the cold she quickly dressed in her new acquisitions and grabbed a rather cute brown fur lined leather jacket and bought that as well, pausing when that thought registered she just sighed and rolled with it,

"Seriously acting more and more like a girl as time goes on, I swear I'm going to resist this weird urge to buy more shoes though..." done she apparated downtown and hit a couple clubs, much to her amusement none of the male bartenders carded her. As last call went out she realized that she was not nearly ready to call it a night, knocking over a closed liquor store (and leaving a few hundred quid on the counter) she began wandering London while sipping a bottle of Pusser's. As she thought about the days events it amused her to an extent that she just remembered that she'd killed Umbridge, well close enough anyhow,

"Heh, this is to you Dolores Umbridge, may you burn in hell you horrid bint!" Laughing to the sky she downed another gulp of the potent rum and kept wandering, eventually it began snowing so she cast a warming charm on herself as she meandered into the back alleys. Boredom and alcohol rarely lead to smart decision making so it didn't really register that this was probably a bad idea for an attractive young lady, so it came as a bit of surprise when she was surrounded by a gang of less then reputable looking gentleman.

"Heyya girlie, bit off the ol' beaten path ain'cha?" one of them sneered, she eyed him a moment then took another sip of her drink before responding,

"The safety pins through your ears make you look like a poser, I really have nothing against the Sex Pistols but really you can't pull off Sid Vicious' look in the slightest, like your hair though." This...confused the would be muggers, the poser cocked his head and said,

"Err...thanks? Now give us your money lady or yer gonna regret it!" Finishing the bottle of rum she tossed it over her shoulder inadvertantly hitting one of the toughs in the head knocking him out cold, sighing she cracked her knuckles and summoned the Dagger of Remorse to her open hand,

"All right Sid, I'll play 'Anarchy in the UK' for you when I get home, cheers!" With that she dove through the group leaving light slashes on anyone who got in her way, not really trying to kill them she was simply toying with the muggles until the daggers enchants took hold. A knife whose wounds induce uncompromising fear tends to mess with the head a bit, after a short time they all began screaming like Draco when Hermione gets violent and shoved off,

"Boo, boring, oh well maybe another gang will attack me," there was light laughter behind her as a woman asked,

"Why didn't you kill them?" Still quite drunk Lilly shrugged,

"Meh, I didn't want to bother hiding the bodies and my magic is still a bit wonky so can't really hold a stable transfiguration right now, more fun to make them be terrified of good looking women for life anyhow," There was more laughter as the woman stepped from the shadows, recognizing her from the Daily Prophet Lilly realized she was right and truly buggered.

Sighing she pulled the second bottle of rum out of her bottomless bag and cracked it open, "Hello Bella," the rather attractive psychopath grinned in return,

"'Ello Lilly, I've been just dying to meet you, you're...an interesting witch," snorting she took a pull from the Pusser's then eyed the older witch contemplatively, walking towards her slowly she offered the bottle which Bellatrix gladly accepted and downed half of it in a single pull. Rather impressed Lilly took the bottle back and leaned against the alley wall,

"So what can I do for you? Are you here to kill me for your lovable Dark Lord?" Snorting Bellatrix began pacing along the filthy alley before she stopped and sighed,

"No, I've had a bit of...a falling out you could say, he is not who I originally followed and to be blunt I witnessed you defy death in front of the Wizengamot earlier and I'm impressed, so I'd like to take my cousin up on his offer and ask for asylum." Nodding Lilly took one last drink from the bottle before handing it to Bella to finish it off, as the dark witch tossed the empty bottle aside Lilly grabbed her left arm and slide her sleeve up to look at the vile dark mark marring Bella's flesh.

"Eh, Death and I have a tenuous work relationship, tell you what, you let me remove that, and we'll talk," her normally heavily lidded eyes opened in shock at that,

"You can't get rid of your dark mark, many have tried but its bonded to your very being!" Nodding Lilly pulled out her wand and began poking the mark,

"Yeah its a corrupted version of the Protean Charm, my girlfriend figured that out a bit ago when we were trying to find methods to communicate that couldn't be intercepted, Tom bound it with a bit of soul magic and in turn it means the brand is sealed to you forever if you don't know what you're looking for," focusing on the runic matrix so similar to Voldemort's sick Horcruxes Lilly forced her will into the symbol and destroyed it. Bellatrix fell to her knees and screamed as the her arm bled where the mark had been torn out, quickly casting healing and cleaning charms the arm was now bare of any blemish, the psycho Death Eater stared at her arm in shock for well over a minute.

"You...you are truly more powerful then anyone realizes aren't you?" Nodding Lilly sighed as she looked up into the snow filled sky,

"Yeah...so if you're for real and you want to switch sides I'd like your help, I've heard you're quite the hellcat when it comes to dueling and I need a females perspective, so you mind tutoring me on how a proper Dark Lady is supposed to fight?" A bit nonplussed Bella took to her feet and approached the teenager, cocking her head to the side she then asked,

"Why would you want to know that?" Grinning Lilly met Bella's lilac gaze with her glowing emerald,

"Because dear cousin I intend to take over the world and bend it to my will, you wanna help?" Bellatrix stood there silently contemplating a moment then nodded,

"Ok, I'm in."


	10. Chapter 10

**AN-Feeling a bit ill so shorter then I wanted but longer then the last one, I'm shooting for affably insane for Bella, later chapters will explain why she is not an out and out sadist like in canon, don't worry I'm not glossing over facts for my own ease of writing. Anyway enjoy, I need to get some sleep, take care all and as always PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Edit-I'm getting a bit of flak for this chapter and I understand, its mostly plot building and a little light on the jokes but sometimes that can't be helped especially since I'm a bloody idiot and left the Longbottom segment out of the last chapter so I had to shoehorn it in here. Please don't give up on me folks you're aware of the personal issues I'm going through so please bear with me on the occasional rough work, and I must say most heartfully thanks for reading.**

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><p>Oddly enough Lillith's tentative partnership with her cousin started the same as her drinking binge had, by knocking over a muggle store in the dead of night. After openly mocking Bellatrix's goth wedding dress ensemble Lilly dragged her to a high end shopping centre and began ransacking the clothes shops, she then spent an hour helping Bella choose new outfits all of which were in black, she voiced her opinion on this to the older witch who simply smiled and said,<p>

"Its a Black thing love, its what we do," Rolling her eyes she eventually approved of a rather flattering blouse and skirt comb with lacy stockings and knee high heeled boots, it fit the insane but hot witch quite well. Tossing Bella an ankle length leather jacket Lilly threw a few hundred quid on the counter and followed her cousin out of the shop, eventually Bellatrix's magpie attention span spotted a jewlery store costing Lilly a few thousand quid there as well. After a final stop at a toy store both witches began sobering up, eventually Bella twirled on a tip toe send her large jacket spinning about her as she sing songed,

"I know what'll take the piss outta ole' Tom-my!" Smirking at the lilac eyed nutter Lilly encouraged her to continue, "Well the entire reason The Dark Lord went after your mum and dad is because Snape told him about the prophecy involving you two, he's obsessed with finding out the rest so why not go smash the bloody thing?" Her smile doing the Cheshire cat justice Lilly nodded slowly,

"You know what Henchwoman? I think you're on to something there."

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><p>The Department of Mysteries wing of the Ministry of Magic was like many things in the wizarding community large, old, and needlessly complicated; where a government building in the muggle world would have a standardized layout to ease the daily lives of the cubicle slaves magicals would have nothing to do with such things. As the spinning room Lilly and Bellatrix had entered shortly after their trip down the lifts slowed down she sighed outwardly at the obvious security flaw,<p>

"Door to Hall of Prophecy," with that a door to her right unlocked, rolling her eyes she hooked her arm through the distracted Bella's as she was playing with a brightly colored muggle slinky.

"I have to admit I have no idea what the intent of this weapon is but its quite enthralling!" Glancing at her crazy cousin in bemusement she simply shook her head and led her into the massive room, it was lined with hundreds of shelves all holding faintly glowing dusty orbs that added a soft ambient light to the shadows. Craning her head back Lilly could just see the barest edges of the vaulted ceiling as the towering shelves were lost in the distance, moving through the pale light Lilly finally spoke,

"This is bloody ridiculous Bella! Seriously we entered through the _visitors_ section, set our reasons for being here as 'Shenanigans' and 'Henching' and made it all the way down to the most secure level of the bloody Ministry without casting a single spell! The only "resistance" we've experienced is a drunk guard! I mean what the hell!" Bella for her part just began giggling as she flicked the slinky out at random prophecies causing them to spark,

"Why do you think the Dark Lord isn't in all that much of a hurry to take over love, the ministries defense is a bit of a cracker, this'll actually be the second infiltration for me, last time the guard hadn't even punched in." Cursing to herself Lilly followed her psychotic partner in crime as she stopped before a specific orb, tapping it with the now somewhat melty slinky Bella intoned, "That's you, that's the one the Dark Lord wanted so bad."

Glaring at the glass sphere as if it's existence offended her (which it did) she read the tag 'S.P.T to A.P.W.B.D; Dark Lord and (?) Harry Potter', she continued to glare at it for well over a minute, Bella and in turn Tom's memories hadn't been lying. Her incompetent divination professor had spoken a prophecy to Dumbledore and he had hidden it from her, more lies and machinations for the greater good no doubt. Openly sneering at this point she grabbed the sphere and held it between herself and Bella while angrily spitting out,

"Well lets see why the old bastard justified locking me in a closet for ten years being the starved slave of fucking child molesters," tapping the prophecy with her wand a whispy voice spoke out,

_"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives...The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies"_ Lillith and by extension Bellatrix both stared at the orb incredulously.

"So... since Severus told The Dark Lord about _half_ the prophecy he went off half cocked and accidentally marked you as his equal?" Shoving her wand into her belt Lilly forced her glasses up as she rubbed the bridge of her nose,

"And apparently I have a power that he doesn't understand or is incapable of handling..." on the last bit both women looked supremely irritated,

"So one of you has to die so the other can live I mean...really? That is just so..." She grew silent and both witches intoned at once,

"Well no shit!" Now furious that her entire life was controlled by a doddering old man dictating a childs upbringing he had NO legal control over because of a bloody vague _prophecy_ Lilly threw the orb over her shoulder and heard it shatter,

"My entire life has been manipulated to do something I'd do otherwise, the bastard murdered my parents of COURSE I'm going to try and kill the son of a bitch, the hell was Dumbles trying to do keeping me from my heritage? I could have spent years training if I'm destined to off the sodding wanker not spend it getting the shite beaten out of me by the Dursley's! What's the point, was he hoping I'd be humbled from it all for more of his for the light bullshit? All it did was desensitize me to violence, I offed a possessed professor in my first year and my only reaction was being annoyed I got Volde'funk all over my hands for crying out loud! " Bella largely ignored the rant as she looked at her ruined slinky mournfully, jamming it into her pocket she pointed her wand at the broken sphere and flicked it with a flourish,

"Reparo!" The prophecy sphere came back together and Bellatrix muttered a few more charms causing it to glow again, placing it back on the shelf she turned to the rather confused Lilly smiling, "Now The Dark Lord won't know its gone, he's already imperioused five muggles trying to get it and they all caught fire so he won't bother with that tactic again. Most likely he'll try to bait you here so let him waste his time while I train you and your friends!" Lilly looked at her cockeyed a moment before grinning,

"For a completely daft bird you have your moments, you are no longer my Henchwoman, you're promoted to...Wicked Witch, shall we?" Bellatrix clapped happily then hooked her arm through Lilly's,

"We should take a gander at the other departments, see if there's anything worth stealing, then we can get Chinese!" Lilly nodded enthusiastically at that,

"Sounds good I've got a five alarm hangover and I think some sweet and sour chicken will help that," as the two woman left the room an incredibly befuddled Arthur Weasley removed his invisibility cloak and wondered what in the bloody hell he was going to tell the Order about this one.

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><p>As Sirius escorted Hermione to Lilly's room he kept glancing at the young woman with some worry, lesbianism wasn't exactly a foreign concept to the wizarding world but her muggle-born blood status on top of "corrupting" a high noble was going to make her life a living hell once the media got word. Hell he wasn't sure the girls relationship should even be labeled homosexual, she'd fallen for Lilly when she'd been Harry, but the hardliner Purebloods would never see it that way and they'd do everything in their power to ruin the poor girl. His thoughts were interrupted as Hermione reached the door cracking it slightly, as it opened he heard a voice he thought he'd never hear again,<p>

"And I'm telling you the Dark Lady has gravitas, it gets the point across immediately that you shouldn't be messed with and it sounds good to boot!" There was a sigh as Lilly responded with,

"And I agree with you cousin I really do, but lets be honest here the negative connotations involved would make the title a liability, pity muggle copyright laws are so stringent or I'd go with 'Darth Lillith,' or the like." A concerned Hermione pushed the door fully open and stepped into the room suddenly stopping in mid motion, Sirius followed and took in the scene before him, both Lilly and his insane Death Eater cousin Bellatrix were sitting cross-legged on the hospital bed eating takeout Chinese. Bella looked at him happily and quickly waved sending sauce flying from her chopsticks while Lilly cried out in indignation, eventually the crazy witch swallowed her noodles and offered up another container,

"I remember you liked pork fried rice Sirius so I got this for you, I'm assuming you're Hermione Lilly grabbed Won-Ton soup for you, by the way I'm Bella Black, nice to meet you! You're a mud-" she cut off as Lilly jabbed her with her own chopsticks, looking a bit abashed she continued,"a muggle-born, would you happen to know any repair spells for slinky's?" Sirius was fairly certain he heard a few of his brain cells scream as they died trying to process what was before him, Hermione though had been a member of the _'Potter Club of Weird Shit'_ going on five years now so she simply huffed, took the offered container of stuffed noodles while tapping the melted pink slinky with her wand.

Bellatrix let out a cheerful "Yay!" as she began playing with her repaired toy while Hermione cuddled up next to Lilly then tore into her food, no questions asked; now more bemused then anything Sirius took the offered rice from the still grinning psychopath and conjured a plush chair to collapse into. Looking at the three witches before him he shoveled some of the takeout into his mouth and after chewing a few moments he asked,

"Lemme guess, she called my bluff and took me up on my offer didn't she?" Lilly smiled brightly her eyes briefly flashing,

"Right in one dad, she followed me home can I keep her?" Returning the grin he quipped back with,

"Having a pet is a huge responsibility dear plus she's a raging murderous Death Eater so there's that to consider," Bella looked a bit indignant at that as she stirred her lo mein,

"Hey! I'm no longer a Death Eater, I'm reformed, see Lilly removed my Dark Mark!" Looking at the proffered arm Sirius and Hermione were startled to see the bare unblemished skin, still not convinced and trying not to chock on his rice he warily sputtered,

"Ye-yes but you're still a dangerous killer with psychotic tendencies," once again nodding cheerfully Bella agreed,

"Oh yes, but now I only kill people Lilly tells me to, see we plan on eliminating everyone who gets in her way while we slowly take over the government from the inside, she's going to use me for those who won't play nice. Its kind of like working for the Dark Lord accept I'm not allowed to torture anyone in exchange for not getting tortured myself, fair trade honestly." Looking sharply at his daughter she let out a dejected sigh then rolled her eyes,

"Way to go Bella not like I'm going to obliviate my girlfriend and dad...yes my plans are to get the right people in the right places so we can pull our fucking world out of the Victorian era and replace our farce of a democracy with something that doesn't model itself after ancient Rome that goes for the blood purity BS as well," Looking very tired all the sudden she dropped her empty container and chop sticks to the ground while rubbing her temples, giving Hermione an appreciative smile as the smaller witch held her with one arm she remained silent basking in the affection.

Eventually she met Sirius' eyes and continued, "Look dad, our world is led by a bunch of jumped up inbred pricks who are so terrified of change that they don't grasp the fact that muggles have progressed past muskets and have the capacity to quite literally wipe our entire civilization out with one bloody nuclear bomb. We've stagnated and are so corrupt that nothing of value gets accomplished without copious amounts of bribery and my recent change has shown me first hand the misogynistic and bigoted nature of our culture.

"I was born a boy, I got turned into a woman, and I'm in love with muggle-born witch, without my hereditary titles or the ability and willingness to kill people on a whim there is next to nothing stopping a pure-blood ponce from dragging me or Hermione behind a shed and having his way with us. That's not acceptable, I've come to a simple conclusion, I am not dark, I am not light, I am a very vengeful shade of gray and I will do everything in my power to make sure those I love survive and thrive." She glanced down at Bella as she was playing with her slinky and growled out, "I'll make a deal with the devil if it means the enemies of my house burn, after all, its for the greater good is it not?"

The sarcastic tone wasn't lost on anyone, speaking for the first time Hermione softly stated,

"I don't want you to go on the warpath for me dear, but I know you, and you won't rest until you think I'm safe, its rather annoying that you think I can't take care of myself though." The playful laughter was unexpected, Lilly reached out and gently stroked Hermione's cheek,

"Brown eyes I _know_ you don't need my protection, I saw what you did to Draco when you were proper angry yeah? But you're one witch amongst thousands, and in a society where the upper crust looks at our sex as second class citizens at best and playthings for the boys at worst I will do everything in my power to change the way the world turns." Kissing the brunette passionately Lilly pulled back after a moment then grinned, "I'm Welsh love I don't go for passive girls, I fully intend for you to be at my side when we make these bastards pay in blood and coin."

"I'll hold you to your promise Lilly, I'm not going to let you out of my sight unless it's completely unavoidable, I may be yours but you are also mine and lets be honest here you're the one who attracts trouble anyhow." laughing she scooped the smaller witch up and pulled her into her lap,

"Yes ma'am I promise to follow your instructions to the letter," Hermione nodded solemnly while stating "Good" before her facade cracked and she began giggling lightly, a short snog later they both seemed to forget about the two bemused Black's watching them. Turning to her head of house Bella raised her brows,

"This normal for these two cousin?" Snorting as he shoveled the last of his rice into his mouth he shook his head while chewing, swallowing the lot he laughed gently,

"Oh hell no normally they're sappier then this, Lilly must be off her game," Both adults chuckled as Lilly raised a rude finger at them from behind Hermione's back not breaking the kiss in the process. Sirius cleared his throat then asked what had really been on his mind this entire time, "Bellatrix, its not like its not nice to see you and all but why are you helping for equality when you were a rabid Voldemort follower? Plus not to bring up a sore point to you Lilly she _did_ torture the Longbottom's into insanity, I'm not sure Neville will take this alliance well." Bella sighed as she hopped off the bed and began pacing the room, tossing the slinky over her shoulder she began wringing her hands as her face screwed up in concentration,

"Its like this, the evening Lilly defeated the Horcrux (yes she explained them to me)in her mind all the Death Eaters felt their connection to the Dark Lord diminish, at the time none of us knew what had happened but for the first time in nearly twenty years I could think clearly." Pausing she sat on the floor in front of Sirius leaning her head against the bed, "Not a day later it happened again, she tells me that's when she purged the locket, so as the near constant presence of my master weakened coupled with the Dementors well..."

She flashed a grin at her cousin as she shook her head, "When he broke me out lets just say I was less then impressed, he looks a wreck, badly mutated, emotionally unstable, and the breakout had no finesse whatsoever. So already a bit disillusioned I spent the next week in a dilapidated mansion where I get hit with the cruciatus no less then four times and over a dozen recruits were tortured to death because The Dark Lord was having a bad day. I'm not sure who he is now but the charismatic man I followed into hell is long gone, as for the blood purity thing..." she grimaced as Lilly began chuckling finally ending her public display of affection with Hermione,

"I clued her in on something the ministry has been keeping quiet for a very very long time, I looked into it and all genealogy records involving muggle-born's are kept under lock and key ostensibly for the families protection from persecution, ironically they forgot to check the restricted section of the Hogwarts library for a copy." Hermione picked up the conversation here,

"Lilly went through it a couple days ago and found out myself and a few other muggle-born friends were actually descended from squibs from families long thought dead, I was curious so I had her stea...borrow the book and let me peruse it," the rooms occupants snickered at the normally rule abiding witches slip of the tongue, rolling her eyes she continued. "Anyway while Lilly was preparing for the trial I went through it and discovered something concerning, there is no such thing as muggle-borns." This caused Bella to mutter about so much wasted effort but Sirius simply looked confused,

"What do you mean by that little one?" Sighing Hermione met Sirius' gaze her eyes hardening,

"There is no such thing as spontaneous muggle-born magicals...they are _all_ descended from squibs who left the magical world behind, in essence everything the Ministry has ever told us about blood purity is an outright lie." Sirius simply sat there looking gobsmacked, the implications were terrifying, this could unravel the very fabric of their society and they knew it, looking at his daughters 'cat got the canary' smile it hit him, that was exactly what she was going to do. Collapsing societies aside curiosity finally got the better of him so he looked back at the brunette bookworm,

"What house are you descended from?" Grinning impishly she stood and performed a curtsy,

"You oh Pad Footed one are addressing the last descendant of Rowena Ravenclaw," as a grin crawled its way up his face Sirius burst out into laughter, it would seem his earlier worries for his daughters lady friend had been premature, once she claimed that ancient seat no one would be able to touch her. Lilly cleared her throat to get his attention as she stood up and began cleaning up the empty containers,

"I need to get the item necessary for her to make the claim when we get back to Hogwarts, ole' Tommy turned it into a Horcrux so I have to purge it first, after that well...lets just say things are going to get interesting." She snorted as she glanced towards Bellatrix who suddenly found the floor very interesting, "As for the Longbottoms, Bella?" Sighing the lilac eyed witch reached over her shoulder and grabbed her slinky off the bed and began shaking it back and forth before she begrudgingly spoke,

"The night we went after Alice and Frank Longbottom we formed a strike team of twelve of The Dark Lords most powerful Death Eaters, at the end of the night eight were dead, two were injured to the point they could not move on their own and the remaining two, Barty Crouch Junior and my ex-husband Rodolophus Lestrange tortured the aurors into insanity. At the time I was trying to pull shrapnel out of my bum and stanch the bleeding from my left thigh, the Longbottom's coated all their ordnance in muggle rat poison to make sure the bleeding wouldn't stop on its own, I'd forgotten about that. Eventually the screaming from the other room ended, Barty and Rudy came up to me and tried to help me up but at that point I just passed out due to blood lose, I honestly have no idea how I survived that night.

"Anyway I woke up chained to the floor at my trial after that and the rest is history, I make no defense for myself, I'd have tortured them if given the chance at the time but as it stands this one sin was not mine." Sirius was both horrified at the candid explanation and proud that his friends took so many down with them, sighing he clasped his hands before him as he mulled over his choices, eventually Lilly wrapped him in a hug that paused further thought.

"It's going to be fine dad, I've already got a rather yummy flat picked out for Bella and I made it unplottable, she gives me and the other girls tips on how to fight dirty and I begin my machinations to outwit Professor Whiskers and the Dark Tosser, just trust me on this one ok?" Looking up into the mischievous emerald gaze he gave his daughter a wisp of a smile,

"Do you solemnly swear you're up to no good?" Grinning widely she quickly nodded,

"Always Padfoot," Sighing he stood and held her dainty hands into his calloused mits, looking down at the earnest young woman he eventually kissed her forehead and let her go,

"Make a world Lily and James would be proud of, and don't forget about us old men willing to help you out ok?" As she guided her dark and light halves to her she cast a glance over her shoulder towards her new father,

"I'll always need you and Moony old man, don't ever think otherwise, stay out of trouble and go out and try to get laid, leave changing the world up to me," and with that the trio apparated away.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author Warning-Mild Limeness in this chapter, I have no idea how to write a lemon so don't expect that unless I get some tutelage.**

**Response to some criticism, Lilly does not like lying to friends, enemies and unknowns don't even register but friends are special so she tries to deflect questions. Vernon is as previously stated a personification of what a deceased friend went through, do not expect any sympathy. For the wizard oaths that's easy, Neville wanted to prove his honesty, Fudge is an idiot, and Lilly wanted everyone to focus on what she said, not on what she didn't. All that being said enjoy the new chapter folks.**

**Edit-Severally re-edited a bunch of stuff that got on my nerves, suggest a reread if you've already gone through it once.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!, seriously my biggest chapter ever and I've only gotten a half dozen responses...kinda kills the urge to write, take care!**

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><p>As was to be expected the fallout from Lillith's most recent brush with death made her an instant celebrity at school, again, and as before it was completely unwanted; unfortunately this time the entire incident had been caught on camera. Hermione admitted her girl looked rather enchanting as she locked her legs down and pushed her will against the glowing curse, grinning as she threw it back at the foul creature that called herself a professor. The Weasley twins had taken the heart warming image a step further by enlarging it and hanging it from the Great Hall's rafters, the faculty made a bit of noise about that but no one made any effort to take it down.<p>

Lilly for her part just shrugged it off and said "Eh...I say this one actually makes number seven on the list," and left it at that, of course the DADA club had been in an uproar, apparently the thought of losing their club president upset them greatly. Lilly stood beside her girlfriend looking sheepish as nearly thirty students (and one Professor Flitwick) admonished her for taking such nasty risks, eventually Susan Bones made her way to the front of the crowd and addressed the emerald eyed teen directly.

"Lilly I'm calling in that favor you owe me since you seem hell bent on getting yourself killed before you pay up," quirking a brow at the buxom redhead Lilly nodded her understanding,

"A Black pays her debts, what is it you bequest?" Smirking Susan grabbed her by the back of the head and pulled her into a deep kiss, the room went silent as the Bones heir wrapped her arms around her neck and snogged the raven haired witch for a solid ten seconds. Breaking the kiss Sue stepped back and licked her lips,

"Been waiting a month to do that, thanks," and with that she left the room her hips sashaying seductively back and forth, Hermione was too shocked to be enraged and Lilly just stood stock still face blank. The crowded room was in varying levels of disgust, shock, and arousal at the display, eventually shaking her head Lilly turned to face Susan's retreating form.

"And...that just happened, well...I do believe my ability to snark has been temporary disabled," she made eye contact with Hermione worry obvious on her face, the brunette gave a slight shake of her head to show she wasn't mad, well not mad at _her_ anyway.

Scratching the side of her nose distractedly she continued, "Anyway, as the Headmaster announced my dad is taking over as the new Defense professor, since he lives in the real world he'll be teaching us largely the way I've been explaining it to you all. That being said there's some things he can't get away with showing students, that's where I come in, hands up if you all want to keep the club going even though we'll have competent instruction?"

You didn't have to be a genius to see how pleased Lilly was when every hand in the room including Flitwick's shot up, nodding she quipped, "Gonna go out on a limb and say Mademoiselle Bones agrees with you lot of degenerates so looks like we're still stuck with each other. Now today Professor Flitwick has generously offered to explain to us how to cast the 'Bunker Shield' charm which will stop anything short of an AK cold, Professor its your show."

After a rather entertaining session (the highlight being Ginny's overpowered shield deflecting Ron's stunner right at his face) the young pair of Gryffindor witch's meandered their way through the halls to finally open the Room of Requirement and confront another Horcrux. Not realizing it at first the happy couple was soon flanked by Susan Bones and Daphne Greengrass, eventually the blonde Slytherin spoke up,

"You're welcome by the way," Startled Lilly and Hermione looked up at the mildly smug young woman,

"For?" Hermione asked in confusion, Susan laughed a bit at that,

"For making it easier for you two to eventually come out of the closet of course! It was Daphne's idea but I didn't mind my role in the slightest, the best part is anyone tries to involve me in a smear campaign they get to deal with Aunty, and to be honest she oh so enjoys destroying reporters." Daphne grinned at the befuddled couple as she rolled her eyes,

"Come off it you two it's so obvious you're in love it hurts, we spend every afternoon with you for the club as well as our normal classes, and if you couldn't already tell we aren't judging. I am curious though, how long?" Lilly sighed as her shoulders slumped while Hermione just smirked and shook her head,

"Since the day she claimed House Slytherin as her own, although the feelings had been there since at least the end of our second year we never acted on them." Nodding in understanding Daphne gave the bookworm a knowing smile,

"Yeah Tracey and I were the same way, although it was third year when those Dementors showed up on the train when we admitted it, nothing like having all your hope sucked out to make you appreciate what's there." Lilly goggled at her but Hermione snorted and opened her hand towards her girlfriend, both Susan and Daphne burst into laughter as Lilly dropped a few galleons in her hand mumbling,

"You were right, totally misread that one, still say Draco's a poofter though I'll win that one," after catching her breath Sue gasped out,

"You two spend far too much time with the twins, anyway just letting you know that most of us girls who don't reside in the vapid airhead department already figured you two out and approve, talk to you two love birds later!" And with that they walked off leaving the amused couple behind, rubbing the bridge of her nose Lilly began giggling and it eventually became a full on laugh, Hermione wasn't far behind.

"Oh man *_hehe*_...our lives...anyway, shall we?" Nodding happily Hermione hooked her arm through her girlfriends as she was escorted to the seventh floor, eventually stopping at a dead end next to a rather confusing tapestry involving dancing trolls. As Hermione stood transfixed by the bizarre sight she missed Lilly summoning the door to the Room of Requirement that Voldemort's soul shard had so kindly informed them of; turning around as she heard Lilly whistle Hermione came to a stop next to the open passage.

After observing what could only be described as a hoarders dream come true (and a cleanup crews nightmare) for several seconds Lilly scratched her head in frustration, "Well...that is certainly a lot of shit... I have a vague idea where we need to go so I guess follow me and try not to touch anything too rusty, tetanus and all that." Snorting Hermione took her hand and let surly ravenette guide her through the endless piles of accumulated junk, after a time she began speaking to fill the strange silence,

"I'm thinking this is either were everything we vanish in the castle ends up or it's mass storage for the house elves, or maybe even where generations of desperate pranksters ditched the evidence to avoid detention," Lilly nodded at that ruefully, she certainly could have used this room a few times to avoid Filch and the like in the past. Eventually Hermione slowed her pace seeing stacks upon stacks of very ancient looking books, drawn to the tomes Lilly let out a soft squeak as she was abruptly pulled in a new direction mid step, upon seeing her scholarly friends target she simply smiled and basked in the smaller witches excitement.

Letting go of Lilly's hand Hermione began sifting through the books trying to be as gentle as possible, Lilly though knocked a pile of ancient text books off a plush chair and cast a cleaning charm before sitting down; aware that this was going to be awhile she began sifting through the trove of knowledge as well. Hermione occasionally muttered to herself as she put the choicest volumes aside for later, trying not to laugh at her girlfriends distracted chattering Lilly's eyes were drawn to an ancient leather bound volume that seemed to call out to her. Its faded green cover was cracked with age and the gold lettering embossed along its spine was nearly illegible, squinting she picked it up and examined its front, '_Summoning Daemons, Angels, and Other Self Important Incorporeal Entities; By Alexandria Slytherin nee Potter'_.

"What...oh...wow..." she tried opening the tome but it wouldn't budge, turning it over the back cover had a tiny indent with a small gold barb in the center; sighing at the irony of her previous admonishment to her girlfriend she jabbed her thumb into the recess and let a small amount of her blood seep into it. The book visibly glowed for a moment then clicked open, cracking the cover a feminine voice spoke to her,

_'__Hello my descendant, as you may have already discovered this tome is rather dangerous, the rites, bindings, and blood rituals found within are bound to our family line and no others; heed the warnings I've inked in these pages for while the art of the Sorceress Summoner is powerful it can also cost the unwary witch more then her very life. Their is nothing freely given, nothing freely gained, remember this when dealing with that which lays beyond the veil, if I may make a suggestion hire a goblin to help write out the contracts if nothing else they tend to frustrate Angels which is simply amusing to observe. Be strong, be wise, be careful, hwyl fawr am nawr fy mhlentyn '_ With that the recital which left Lilly stunned faded into silence; 'Well...I think I can now understand ancient Welsh...that's new...'.

She didn't know why but she felt that she needed to hide this from everyone for the time being, it may have been a compulsion charm for all she knew but regardless she surreptitiously slide the tome into her bottomless bag as she stood to cover the motion. Nonchalantly walking towards the distracted Hermione she glanced over the teens shoulder to take a look at what had her so rapt, frowning when she realized it was about human transfiguration Lilly cleared her throat. Hopping in surprise Hermione slammed the book shut and looked a bit sheepish, realizing that Lilly had seen what she was looking through she gave a wan smile,

"Sorry, I still haven't given up on trying to find a way to turn you back into Harry, I promised after all..." Feeling irrationally angry Lilly brought her occlumancy barriers up to remain calm,

"Didn't realize the being a girl thing bothered you so much 'Mione," looking shocked and a bit hurt the brunette shot up waving her hands in denial,

"No no its not that it's just...you are going to have to take on so much more grief and strife as a High Lady rather then a High Lord, you are powerful but we live in a patriarchal society; it will be uphill the entire way and being with me will make it even harder, I just thought..." Gently grasping Hermione's chin Lilly drew her into a passionate kiss, letting it linger she eventually broke it.

"Love, I don't care, seriously being a woman doesn't bother me in the slightest, I have you, I have dad, Moony, and hell even Bellatrix, I have family that cares for me and that's all I need, I'll fight anyone who tries to take that from us so please don't beat yourself up trying to find a solution to a none-issue ok?" Looking as if she was about to cry the smartest witch (in Lilly's not so humble opinion) in the world whispered gently,

"Why...why doesn't it bother you? If I were turned into a bloke I think I'd go barmy in twenty minutes...why doesn't it bother you?" Sighing Lilly paced a bit not really feeling that this was the best venue for this revelation but her girlfriend was upset _now_ and waiting till after they confront the Horcrux hiding somewhere in this room wouldn't sit well. Coming to a decision she pulled out her wand and cleared a table of its load and cast a cleaning charm on it, laying the wand down she pulled her robes up over her head and tossed them on the table. Undoing her tie and unbuttoning her white oxford shirt she tossed both items atop the discarded robes and turned to face a now blushing Hermione in nothing but her skirt, stockings and black bra,

"What do you see love?" Hermione began stuttering as she was staring at Lilly's endowments, rolling her eyes she stepped forward and grabbed the brunettes hands pulling them to her bare sides, "Not the girls dear, you saw Harry without his shirt at the tournament, feel me and tell me whats different." Shakily dragging her hands up her best friends body Hermione let out a shuddering breath as she felt the smooth unblemished skin, Lilly for her part was quite glad she had her barriers up or this would have already gone in a far different direction then intended.

Eventually Hermione leaned in and began placing kisses on Lilly's bare neck while muttering, "You're perfect," smiling sadly Lilly gently pushed the now thoroughly flushed witch away, meeting her lust filled gaze the emerald eyed beauty nodded,

"Exactly love, where are the scars from when Vernon strapped Harry to the banister and whipped him with a belt? Where are the scars caused by a basilisk and a dragon, magical wounds that supposedly would never fully heal? Where are the dozens of poorly healed broken bones that made me feel like an eighty year old man every time it rained? Where is the psychological trauma of being beaten and molested for nearly a decade? It's all gone hon, I've been given a fresh clean start, the old wounds left with the old body and while I'm aware of what the Dursley's did to me the events themselves were tossed out of my mind never to be found again so I will not be held down by them any longer."

Smiling at the now crying young woman before her she pulled her into a tight hug, "So what if in that trade off I'm now a woman, I'll gladly take it, I have my freedom, I have my health, and I have you, all told I think I made out on this one." There was a sobbing laugh from the bushy head resting on her chest before she heard a muffled response,

"Ok...I get it now, thanks..thanks for sharing...on an unrelated note your boobs are amazing," Lilly snorted out a laugh at the non sequitur as she released her girlfriend, winking as she began putting her clothes back on she purred out,

"Well then I'll just have to let you play with them later, I know you've been working on those privacy charms," blushing deeply but grinning in return Hermione nodded,

"Oh I've perfected my technique," walking up to the now fully clothed Lady Black she whispered into her ear, "_All_ my techniques," lightly licking her earlobe she pulled away leaving a shivering flushed Lilly standing there. Straitening her back she began marching forward,

"Oki Tommy time for you to die!" Chuckling Hermione ran to catch up wrapping her arm around Lilly's waist as they searched for an insane wizards shattered soul shard. After a bit Lilly ruminated over the best course of action before speaking her mind, "Hey brown eyes?" Hermione hummed her response as Lilly continued, "I was wondering, should we kill this Horcrux now or later? I mean I have no idea if Tom is even aware that I'm munching on his magical core like a bag of crisps, and if he isn't there's only two others left, well that and the snake but chances are that's gonna be our last priority." Hermione's wonderful mind began processing this and after a few minutes she had a response,

"I think you should unbind it, a horcrux is the darkest of artefakts and I'm not comfortable having it sitting around a school filled with kids, imagine if some firsty wandered in here and found it?" Sighing Lilly wrapped her arm around her shoulders and pulled her love closer,

"Was afraid of that, god I hate consuming these things, I have the weirdest urges to kick old people down the stairs and steal candy from children for weeks afterwards...ah well can't be helped." Grunting her acknowledgment they trudged on until they turned a corner, sitting atop a pile of junk was a discoloured tiara, its beautiful elegance resmebling a bird in flight with a large oval sapphire in its center.

Sighing Lilly let go of Hermione as she trudged forward, "I am so not looking forward to this, babe you're lucky your bums cute or I wouldn't do this," casting the counter curses she'd learned from Tom on the diadem she picked it up and placed it on her head. Immedietly her occulmancy barriers were assaulted and nearly torn down, what began as a one sided attempt at body theft ended up becoming a psychic game of tug of war. Falling to her knees Lilly tried to organize her thoughts into collective clusters to fend off the invading shard of Tom's soul, eventually much to her chagrin he broke through the initial barrier and ran into her first mental wave of defense. To her amusement Tom had no idea what to make of it, grinning as he starred at the armada before him she appeared next to his wraith like form as he cursed out,

"What the hell is this?!" As the massive triangular warships formed a defensive barrier they disgorged thousands of ball shaped fighters each with a pair of large hexagonal wings, grinning Lilly smugly stated,

"That is her Royal Majesties Imperial armada of Imperator Class star destroyers, good luck each fighter is piloted by a copy of Neville, Luna, or the Twins and each cruiser is captained by a Hermione, the idea you could get through this is honestly hilarious." Turning to her in rage Tom lashed out but it did nothing to her spectral form so she continued to taunt him, "Even if you got past the armada there's still layers of defense, next is a police box manned by my dad and parents, after that is Starfleet headed by Prof McG." At this point Tom ignored her and charged at the Imperial armada, it amused her that he didn't even get past the TIE fighters, eventually, his damaged form struck back at her but she was able to stop him cold, snarling he screamed out,

"You may think you have won but I am immortal, I have anchors scattered across Britain and I will be forever alive!" Snorting Lilly began siphoning off his power while she taunted him,

"You know I never figured that bit out, me if I made a Horcrux I'd put it in a muggle safety deposit box in I don't know, the colonies or maybe China, you know well away from those who would care to destroy it. Tom your arrogance is both terrifying and hilarious, even though I do not intend to go full dark I'll make a far better Dark Lady then you made a Dark Lord, nighters sweet prince we're done here." With that Tom's soul was dispelled and his fragment of magic became her own, coming back to the real world she was screaming while starring a horrified Hermione in the eyes.

Fun fact, a fifteen year old boy in a seventeen year old woman's body trying to contain the artificially inflated magical core of someone who had a blood seal on them since infancy plus half the power of a middle age Dark Lord does not bode well for the user. Still screaming she felt the power trying to eat at her very being, bless the bushy haired Goddess before her she fully grasped what was going on, snatching the ichor stained tiara and ripping it from Lilly's head Hermione slapped it on her own crown while stating,

"I Hermione Jean Granger through the rights of blood and heredity declare myself the sole heir to the house of Ravenclaw, so it is said so mote it be!" Hermione was consumed in a grey mist as her school robes vanished. Lilly received a rather tantalizing view of her love's nubile body that was shortly coated in layers of blue robes and mithril armor, once the transfer of title was complete she fell to her knees and grasped Lilly's head, "Share it with me, before it kills you!"

Lilly got her meaning well enough, grabbing the Lady of Ravenclaw's head she pulled her into a deep kiss dumping her very soul into the young woman, after a time an equilibrium was reached and they both fell over. Lilly had no idea how long she had been sprawled out there on the floor of the room of junk, but it was long enough for the Volde'funk in her hair to solidify, groaning in disgust she sat up and cast a scourgify on her head. Looking down at the prone woman before her she began to panic, casting a cleaning charm on her to remove the ichor and vomit she pulled Hermione up into her lap and began stroking her face.

After a time the teen opened her brown eyes now flecked with shards of glowing sapphire, grinning she grabbed Lilly's cheeks and pulled her into a deep kiss. It felt like they had snogged for hours but it could only have been minutes, eventually Hermione let her go and they starred at each other,

"Equals more then ever eh?" Lilly's quip was more true then not, she'd dumped all of the new Horcrux's power into her friend on top of a bit she'd already accumulated, the trade off off for the power loss was that she felt more stable then she had in months. Grinning Hermione kissed her again and stayed that way for five minutes, no complaints here, eventually breaking the embrace her bushy haired best friend pulled her to her feet.

"This, this is amazing, I can...I can think of so much right now! There's no hindrances, no care what others think, there's just..._knowledge_!" Smirking Lilly hugged her before she tried to bolt for the library,

"That's probably the diadem, as Lady Ravenclaw you're inclined to learn no matter what, as Lady Slytherin I want to manipulate all those around me, sadly I have a _lot_ to learn on that subject. Just settle down for now, something tells me Rowena wasn't miss socialite just like Sal wasn't mister sensitive, give your mind a chance to acclimate ok?" Pausing she then nodded, the needy look in her eyes turning Lilly on in ways she couldn't even begin to describe, trying to think of the best way to diffuse a potentially sexy situation (hey even she knew that the middle of a room of junk was a poor choice!) she eventually spoke, "Why not ask Prof McG?"

Snorting at her girlfriends nickname for their head of house she shook her head, "Why not ask your dad? He or Bella probably would have something to say on this that wouldn't end in us getting suspended," Smirking Lilly pulled the lovely Lady of Ravenclaw into her arms and kissed her gently.

"Ok gorgeous, as always I'll follow your instructions," with that they apparated to the flat housing one quite hung over pair of Blacks, they entered to find Tonks standing in Bella's living room looking highly amused at the prone forms of the passed out raventte's on the floor. Glancing over at the teen couple the pink haired witch grinned happily,

"Wotcher Lilly and 'Mione, if I'm looking at this correctly did you buy our lovely cousins a case of whiskey and a Super Nintendo?" Laughing Lilly nodded,

"Shit dad and Bella worked through all that and Super Mario World in one night!?" Her cousin shook her head equally amused,

"It appears so, I came here to give Bella this from my mum but I think it would explain more to you then them at the moment, been trying to wake their arses up for an hour." Smirking Hermione grasped the proffered scroll and opened it, eventually her amusement fell as she met Tonks gaze, the normally chipper woman nodded slowly to an unasked question and Hermione looked like she was about to explode. Shoving the scroll into Lilly's hands she rushed forward and began helping the prone Bellatrix to a sitting position, confused Lilly read the crumpled document and felt her blood freeze.

"This...this was legal Tonks?" Snorting the metamorphmagus shook her head sadly,

"Up till right before You-know...Voldemort started his campaign being a woman meant you had no rights, your head of house made all decisions and they were final, there's a reason mum ran after all. Wasn't until there was literally more women left then men that things changed, necessity was the only reason people like my boss Madam Bones got their jobs despite behind over qualified for it. That marriage contract literally made Bellatrix do whatever the LeStrange's demanded, let me ask you something, once Sirius dissolved the marriage how was she? Dumbledore has a theory on the whole psychotic personality thing, and yes he knows about her already, the whole order knows, please just be objective right now."

Slightly angry and more then a bit mystified that Dumbles knew about her Wicked Witch Lilly eventually just shrugged, "She's fun, playful, she likes Led Zeppelin and looks at the banning of minor dark spells as nothing but old people being whiny. Truth be told outside of the mass murder I'd love to emulate her, she's hilarious and I thoroughly enjoy her company." Nodding sadly Tonks observed Hermione shoving a potion down Bella's throat before responding,

"That's what mum and dad say she was like before she was forced into that marriage contract, how did she get along with Sirius?" Snorting Lilly glanced at her dad passed out on the floor,

"Outside of some obvious tension due to previous battles they acted like teenagers, reminded me of the Weasley's honestly, they grated on each other but they were both happy that they did." Tonks sighed as she took the scroll back and rolled it up,

"Yeah about right, look, Dumbledore thinks that with the soul binding those fuckers put on her nulled she's going to regress _a lot, _and Sirius spent over a decade in solitude, they may both be nearing their mid thirties but they're going to have the temperaments of those in their early twenties at best, that's what mum's concerned about. If you need anything lemme know, show Bella the contract she was forced into when she sobers up and...err..."

Glancing at Sirius she continued, "And wait till Sirius is drunk again before you show him, there may be fewer deaths that way, anyway I have to get back to my job take care love." Placing the scroll on a table she was about to apparate when Hermione shouted out,

"Tell Remus we said hi!" Tonks hair shifted to green as she blanched right before she vanished from the room, snickering at her girlfriend she walked up to Sirius to help the man up to the couch, he was groaning something along the lines of "bitch ass yellow Yoshi's" but she could have misunderstood him. Eventually they were able to shove enough potions down the adults mouths to make them coherent. Bella reacted first by vomiting into a trash pail, after a time she glanced at Sirius,

"Did we have sex last night?" Groaning her dad nodded in a vague fashion, emulating Bella he threw up into a soup pot before responding,

"Four times, then we finished off five bottles of Jameson and played that game of yours till we passed out," nodding Bella threw up again while Hermione looked disgusted,

"They're cousins!" Snorting Lilly leaned into her to whisper,

"Purebloods love, first cousins are actually preferred as creepy as it is for those of us who live in the real world, I fed her a contraceptive potion so no worries there, if it goes beyond a one night stand we'll work something out," nodding in understanding Hermione kept her tongue as Lilly cleaned up the large amount of sick.

"Dad, Bella, seriously you two need to learn moderation, plus try Secret of Mana it has magic and stabbing shit to death, something to appease both of you," Groaning the adults both gave her mirrored wary salutes which managed to warm her heart greatly. In Lilly's point of view their fucked up family was what she had always wanted, guiding her dad to the kitchen while Hermione did the same for Bella she began making a very late breakfast. Going for heavy and alcohol cleansing she made a large platter of bacon and sausage while Hermione fixed a large stack of french toast and scrambled eggs, calling a confused Dobby to her to indulge in the meal with them the abnormal family dug into their impromptu feast.

"I...could seriously get used to to this," Bella happily stated as she tore into her plate of dead pig, chugging a glass of juice she gave Hermione a happy grin as she refilled it, Sirius for his part finally seemed to gather enough of his wits to realize what was going on.

"Shouldn't you two be at school?" Snorting Lilly took a large bite out of her toast, licking the syrup from her lips she replied,

"Yeah here's the thing dad classes are over, its eight in the evening, you two have been out for the better part of Monday," Both adults paused, looked at each other then shrugged before digging back into their food. Hermione began giggling at this and Lilly soon joined her, poor Dobby just sat there munching on eggs wondering what the hell was going on with his masters.

Lilly eventually cleared her throat then stated, "Anyway, the reason we're here is Hermione claimed her title, we'd planned on waiting but she needed to take some of my founders magic plus a bit of Tom's so now we're blown. There's no way Dumbles doesn't know what happened so we just wanted your expert opinions." Bella shrugged as she tore into her second plate of bacon,

"Screw the old codger, if he doesn't like the fact that you're being proactive against the Dark Lord so be it, plus he doesn't even need to know about the Horcrux, just say you found that tiara thingy and made the claim. On a semi-related note don't be shocked if there's a major counter attack soon just to show that he's still a threat, the fact that he was trying to reclaim a Horcrux for his rejuvenation rite shows how desperate he is feeling right now. I know now that you retrieved the locket Lucius failed to acquire but the LeStrange vault was emptied by my ex the second Sirius divorced us so he has the one that was put in my charge." Grinning Lilly nodded to her mentor,

"I know the other one and even Tom is going to be hesitant to go after it, that ring has enough wards around it to make a Goblin paranoid. Despite my Death's insistence I go after it first I think it will be the last I go after, there's simply too many protections." Sirius spoke up,

"Don't forget he could just make more, from what you two...three have told me he isn't exactly stable right now, he might go full crazy and forge thirteen of the damn abominations." All three witches shuddered in sync at this thought, Bella spoke up first,

"Lets...lets hope it doesn't reach that point shall we?" Hermione and Lilly nodded to her at this and finished their meals, eventually the dysfunctional family ended back up in the living room, Lilly and Bella began playing on the Super Nintendo as Hermione grilled Sirius for information on becoming an animagus. After a few hours the pair of witches left their odd mentors behind and they apparated back into their shared room in the Gryffindor dorms, smirking Hermione pushed Lilly into her bed then straddled the ravenette woman. Casting binding and silencing charms on the curtains she shrugged off her robes and shirt in one motion, her bra followed quickly after that, Lilly for her part followed suit and in a moment both young women were near naked. Smirking Hermione tossed Lilly's glasses aside as she slithered up her body, their breasts now firmly pressed against each other, seeing that she actually managed to make her other half blush Hermione cooed,

"Oh my, did I actually unsettle the Lady of Slytherin?" Groaning Lilly shot forward and before she knew it both their knickers where on the ground, lightly chewing on her earlobe Hermione shuddered as Lilly whispered,

"The things I'm going to do to you tonight would land me in Azkaban, I love you so much," suffice it to say they were both sore in the morning, and for the first time in Hermione's life she was late for class and didn't give a fig in the slightest for it. As the days moved past their mentor relationship with the Black's solidified as they learned to dance from Bellatrix and cast from Sirius, soon both witches spread the knowledge to their DADA club and gave their friends a fighting chance.

Sirius as a teacher was amusing, he considered writing essays to be and Lilly quoted this often "A professor's attempt to masturbate to their own awesomeness" so most of their classes were practical, which meant lots of things were blown up on a daily basis. As the Yule hols rolled forward an uncomfortable situation revealed itself,

"Lilly, I want you to meet my parents," this...was not a social situation the Lady of Slytherin wanted to find herself in, for starters she was dating an only child who happened to be female so she automatically assumed she had to deal with an overprotective father figure. Add to that they were in an obviously gay relationship and you have a formula where a young witch was very aware obliviation spells may be necessary in the near future. Unfortunately she happened to love and respect her girlfriend so she agreed to it, goddammit.

Adding to the chaos Sirius had insisted she claim the House of Potter as the family head since as heir to the House of Black she'd have to attend social gatherings anyway so why not do it in style, the turn around on this was her overall value had increased to around thirteen billion quid, suffice it to say she was actively pursued by many a suitor. So she ended up in a verbal agreement with Luna for her to take Neville on a 'date' to keep up appearances before disappearing on the Hogwarts express with Hermione, she guided her love through the thronged masses till they reached the cabin she'd already had warded.

"Good. God. What else are we going to be subjected to before we reach Kings Cross?" Lilly honestly had no response to her lovers questions so she simply pulled the slight witch into her arms and cuddled her for a time, eventually their happy doze was broken as their cabin door was opened. 'Right, forgot to reactivate the wards, damnit,' lamenting this oversight a group of older Slytherin's she didn't recognize entered led by one Theodore Nott, the grim faced blonde glared at the pair of girls with contempt.

"The Dark Lord is very displeased with you, since Malfoy can't be trusted to get the job done its up to use to make you and the little mudblood whore recognize your betters." Lilly couldn't believe her ears, really she could not. Placing Hermione at her side Lilly stood and starred at the group of belligerent but obviously uncomfortable teens before splaying her hands out before them,

"This is a taste, round two is up to you idiots," with that she cast the Slytherin family magics she'd researched in the past month, the arcing black lightening electrocuting those stupid enough to stand before her. As the teens screamed in agony Lilly's contempt and arousal rose, no wonder the dark arts were considered a controlled substance, the pleasure she gained from punishing these morons was immeasurable!

After a time a frantic Hermione broke her concentration and she was soon glaring down at a group of smoky agonized fools, "Tell your Lord my response, now sod off before i stop being generous!" The group of cowed snakes ran off as a concerned Hermione starred at her, eventually Lilly calmed and pulled the small witch to her lap and began kissing her passionately, "I love you, please...please always be there for me, please be there to pull me back from the brink." Smirking despite the situation Hermione returned the kiss as she whispered,

"Always love." Soon their fortress of calm was ruined by Ron and his wingeing, eventually Gred, Forge, and Ginny joined but rather then bitching about things they couldn't change the deviant trio brought about the conversation on how best to replace the great hall with a burning inferno and or a swamp. This distracted Hermione and intrigued Lilly, destruction of property ranked up there with 'Flying with Hermione on a moonlit night' for her, eventually their plans for chaos were interrupted with the train stopping at its yards.

Wishing farewells to her redheaded partners in chaos Lilly followed Hermione to a pair of dignified adults standing beside a current model Mercedes, grinning at her girlfriends parents she introduced herself,

"Hello, Hermione has spoken so highly of the two of you, I am the Lady of three houses, Slytherin, Potter and Black, but please simply call me Lillith, or Lilly if you feel comfortable doing so." Her grin turning mischievous she added, "And if you could get your daughter to lay off on the dental hygiene regime she insists I follow I'd greatly appreciate it!" Over Hermione's indigent shout and the adults laughter Lilly couldn't help but reflect that this might be the best holiday she ever experienced if she played her cards right. Introducing herself to Dan and Emma who insisted she call them 'Mum and Dad' (if only they knew) she helped Hermione put her things in the cars boot before taking position next to her in the back seat, balancing the fragile package meant for the dentist duo on her lap she covertly held Hermione's hand as they were driven to her bushy haired loves home.

"Now don't play this up too much, I want...I want to know how they'll react beforehand...before we spend the hols with them..." Nodding in agreement she held her hand as they made their way into the house, eventually as things settled Emma asked,

"Not that I mind you bringing a different friend but I was expecting you to bring this Harry you're constantly talking about, I'd love to meet him!" Dan Granger's eyes hardened at that as he crossed his armed and nodded, groaning internally at totally calling the over protective dad thing she place her burden on the table and pealed the paper off it.

"This Mum and dad is a pensieve, its a rare artefakt that Lilly spent some rather significant resources to acquire, in short it will let you two view our memories, instead of awkwardly explaining things to you we thought it best to show you, with your permission?" Both adults looked a bit surprised at their little girls forwardness but nodded, they rarely got the chance to observe the magical world that so absorbed their daughters life and this little taste would help them be closer to her.

Lilly stepped forward with a large glowing jar, "The first memory is what caused my current...situation, after that it will start at first year and move on, its a mixture of both my and 'Mione's memories but considering the fact she's been at my side since day one it'll make sense, hit the loo and be ready to lose two hours of your life." Snorting at the ravenettes brusqueness the adults did as requested and waited by the bowl of glowing memories, tapping a few runes Lilly glanced to Hermione, "You might wanna watch this too hon...it'll explain what you missed second year...please don't be too angry with me I didn't _want_ to fight the rudding thing ok?" The Granger's exchanged glances before looking down into the bowl, after that they knew everything.

For starters they knew that Lilly had been Harry, they knew that their daughter was madly in love with the young woman, and they soon realized that the magical world was not nearly as idealic as they'd been led to believe. They got to witness first hand their daughter being ostracized up to her first Halloween where an infuriated Harry showed up to take down a troll intent on killing their daughter. They were then treated to the boy counseling the brunette before he headed through the fires alone to face an insane professor and kill him before he retrieved an item that would allow the darkest of wizards to regain his life.

The second year they were able to feel Harry's sense of isolation as everyone thought _he_ was responsible for the injuries to the student body while only Hermione truly believed him, and then they were able to feel his pure rage and hopelessness when their daughter fell to the same petrification. All three Granger's felt ill as Harry barely survived his encounter with his idiot DADA teacher and the subsequent battle with the Basilisk. Unfortunately unable to turn this feature off they felt Harry's agony as he slowly died from the venom and his sense of satisfaction that the monster of Slytherin would not be able to hurt his Hermione further. Once Fawkes healed Harry with his tears the memory jumped to the meeting with Dumbles and Lucius that caused Dobby to be free.

The Third year was largely skipped over because frankly dementors were abominations and the fewer people who knew about them the better, they got the jist of it though, Sirius was innocent, Moony was a badass paramilitary werewolf, and Harry would crush anyone who got in the way of his friends or family; life lessons some of the Slytherin's still hadn't grasped despite onsite training.

Their fourth year the Grangers were able to absorb both their daughters and Harry's horror as he was subjected to a tournament he had no desire to participate in, both parents were proud of their little girl standing by her friends side as the entire school abandoned him. After the dragons which left Emma in tears, and the lake which left Dan in a rage, both parents remained silent as the tortured and brutalized Harry appeared before the masses after the third task cradling the dead body of his friend.

After that they received a crash course on what had happened to lead to Harry's sex change and what their daughter had been part off, after a time the glow of the pensieve faded and the parents starred at the two teary eyed witches. Much to both their shocks Emma charged forward and grabbed Lilly into a death grip as Dan did the same to Hermione, as both adults cried Dan sobbed out,

"I'm so proud of you dear, so proud of you..."crying herself now Hermione returned the hug, Lilly for her part was already sobbing holding onto Emma, outside of Hermione and Sirius no one had hugged her like this before and it broke the dam so to speak. After a time the hugs released and the tears were cleared, in the awkward silence Lilly said,

"Dobby?" With a pop the tuxedo bedecked elf appeared before his mistress bowing lightly, "Tea and biscuits for four please," nodding and smiling the elf momentarily disappeared and then reappeared carrying the requested items, placing them on the table the happy elf asked a question.

"Is Dobby supposed to be stealing all tea and biscuits from Headmaster Whiskers still Mistress Lilly?" Choosing to ignore the fact that the little elf still wouldn't drop the 'Mistress' honorific Lilly nodded,

"Of course, and the service is excellent as always thank you, and remember to tell Winky to keep up her drunk act when dealing with the old codger, no need letting him know shes on the up and up," grinning he gave her one of his jaunty salutes and vanished. Smirking she began sipping her tea and grinned in appreciation, she loved a good earl gray. As the Granger couple and their daughter discussed her...situation with Lilly she simply remained quiet and enjoyed her drink, eventually a consensus was met and the pair of adults addressed her,

"So...you're in love with my daughter..." Starring at Dan Granger was not difficult, for starters he wasn't a three story tall dragon and he was a rather attractive brunette much like his wife. Nodding Lilly sipped her tea before she replied,

"I'd burn most of the British isles to the the ground to keep her safe, she's my one true friend and love, and nothing could keep me from her, on that note she's also the singularly most terrifying witch seen in centuries so my interference is largely unwanted and unneeded." Hermione snorted at this but it caused both parents to smirk in pride, finishing her tea Lilly stood and bowed to Dan directly,

"I, the Lady Lillith Alice Potter-Slytherin-Black do so bequest to court your daughter the Lady Hermione Jean Granger-Ravenclaw and do so swear to physically or politically destroy anyone or anything that has the foolish notion to threaten your daughter, so mote it be." With a gasp from Hermione and a flash of light Dan and Emma fully grasped what the young witch had just sworn to, not fully comfortable with the gay thing but fully understanding what the oath would cost the young woman Dan nodded,

"So mote it be," the flash of light was blinding, after that Emma was grinning,

"So who wants dinner? We already have reservations so why don't we get to know our daughters significant other a bit better over a good meal and wine?" Both her grumpier half and the teenage witches smiled in response.

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><p><strong>AN-I have no idea why but the entire encounter with the Granger's didn't save so I had to delete the chapter and rewrite the entire section, so bloody annoying. Anyhow, hope you all enjoyed and as always PLEASE REVIEW!<strong>

** P.S. to reviewer Silentreina, thank you I rather enjoy my fucked up brain, glad you enjoyed the story thus far!  
><strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**The entire latter half of this chapter was supposed to be for Halloween but I ended up writing 'A Black Halloween' instead, so yeah, not really topical now that its November third but hey, you want new chapters and I have no desire to rewrite this, so enjoy and Review!**

**PS-I consider the lime from last chapter as an experiment, one that I largely failed at, so no worries no more of that, anyhow enjoy!**

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><p>Lillith and Hermione sat in silence in the back of the Granger's Mercedes as Dan meandered through the late afternoon traffic, both young women lost in thought, eventually Hermione cast a privacy charm then broke the silence which caused her lover to grimace. "So...that oath..." Rolling her eyes Lilly kept her gaze on the passing traffic,<p>

"Not that big of a deal, it was worded in such a way that I'd only go after threats to you, plus the lovely loophole of the fact you cannot make magical oaths to muggles helps as well." Pausing Hermione looked confused before she violently whispered,

"You played my parents?!" Glancing over to the bushy haired brunette Lilly kept her gaze a few moments before sighing, "Can I honestly say anything right now that wouldn't make matters worse, seriously?" Hermione was chagrined to admit she had to bite off making a 'Sirius' joke there before responding,

"Why would you find it necessary to lie to my parents straight out of the gate?" Lilly resisted the urge to roll her eyes again as she responded,

"Because your dad practically screamed over protective even when I was only running my passive legilmency on the room, not to mention both your parents are dentists who I inherently distrust, anyone who gets their jollys drilling into peoples heads automatically earns my ire." Hermione was about to snap back before she paused and sighed,

"You're having one on me right now aren't you?" Grinning Lilly waggled her brows in response, huffing Hermione eventually just asked her original question, "You played them right?" Lilly remained quiet before sighing again,

"Yes and no, I meant the oath but it isn't binding, remember what I told you earlier this month, my Founders magic makes me inclined to manipulate people, its just second nature to me at this point. As for it being binding, Hermione, I'm _fifteen_, you're sixteen, we literally have our entire lives ahead of us, do you honestly think I'd blindly bind my magic to an agreement I made before I even got out of school? Your parents think you're safer now, they're not going to be hounding us the entire hols to be safe or other contrite crap especially after they got a crash course on how bloody dangerous that school is; enjoy the fact that my duplicity has given us a modicum of freedom and leave it at that ok?"

As much as Hermione wanted to be enraged she couldn't manage it, Lilly hadn't out and out lied and the more she reviewed the situation the more annoyed with herself she got over not catching the details, eventually holding her forehead she sighed deeply,

"You didn't use a wand, silent wandless lumos?" Snorting Lilly's lips curled into a smirk and simply replied with "Of course," shaking her head Hermione turned her eyes out the window again as she thought up her response, eventually she just sighed in exasperation and removed her seat belt sidling closer to Lilly to wrap the young woman in a hug. "All right...I get why you did it you probably bypassed two weeks of fretting, just try to reel it in love ok?" Smirking Lilly gave her a quick peck on the cheek before responding,

"Honey, its my nature to manipulate, while I still have my 'saving people thing' as you put it the sorting hat _did_ try to place me in Slytherin first, I will make a tentative promise to you though, I'll never try to consciously manipulate you or anyone you tell me to trust. No witches oath or any of that, just a promise from your girlfriend, ok?" Hermione frowned as she worried her lower lip but eventually she nodded, resting her head on Lilly's shoulder lost in thought the emerald eyed young lady watched the blue flecked gaze of her lover with wry affection, before they'd been, *ahem* bonded the brunette would never have given in that quickly. Huzzah for a satisfied sex drive bypassing hours of needless bickering!

As the car came to a stop Lilly recognized the venue as a higher end French style restaurant, the Granger's were obviously better off then expected but they were both doctor's of a sort so she shouldn't have been surprised. As they exited the vehicle there was a brief hoot as a snowy white owl landed on the cars boot, Hedwig gave Lilly an indignant glare before offering up her foot with a large envelope attached to it. Snorting Lilly took the parcel then placed the miffed owl on her shoulder while casting a disillusionment on her,

"Sorry girl didn't mean to leave you at home like that, come on I'll sneak you in so you can confuse the muggles by ganking their food," Hedwig let out an amused bark at this so Lilly walked towards the entrance while Hermione pushed her befuddled parents forward. Pulling up to Lilly's side she quietly muttered,

"Do you have to roll your hips like that? Its...distracting..." Lilly snorted while Hedwig clacked her beak in amusement, locking gazes with her girlfriends familiar Hermione eventually shook her head in faux disapproval. "You are really going to let your sentient magic owl friend terrorize a restaurant full of stuck up snobs for a free meal aren't you?" Grinning with a mischievous glint in her eyes (which she'd placed a glamour on to keep down the glowing, no need to freak out the normals) Lilly quipped what was fast becoming her personal mantra,

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," trying to look disaproving but failing miserably Hermione just followed the group into the restraunt and took her seat; Lilly then managed to stun Dan and Emma by fluently speaking French to the waiter requesting a bottle of wine and hors d'oeuvres. Grinning once again with a mischievously lit Lilly shooed Hedwig to go cause chaos as she cracked open the owls delivered envelope, groaning she slid her chair closer to Hermione so she could read the letter. Her parents looked on in polite interest as she let out an annoyed sigh,

"Another board meeting? I thought you subcontracted the goblins specifically to avoid this sort of thing," grunting Lilly kept her eyes on the sheaf of parchment as she continued reading,

"Yeah I did but the little guys aren't allowed to enact major purchases and transfers without my direct consent, glad the Slytherin vault wasn't set up like the Potter's, the amount of interest I earned from their investments makes up 37% of my net worth. Christ this is annoying, I hope Moony gets back from whatever errand he's running in Russia soon I hired him to take care of this for a reason," Hermione huffed and took a sip of her wine, looking back at the documents she then asked,

"What's he doing in Russia anyway?" At that Lilly twirled a manicured finger in the air,

"Who knows this is Uncle Remus we're talking about here, he could be enriching some capitalist proletariats buying up cold war era weapons, scoring a key of Colombian white, or getting some really good borscht, all I know is I need his furry butt here so I can get back to being a lazy boarding school student." Dan snorted at this,

"Interesting company you keep young lady," glancing above the papers meeting her girlfriends fathers eyes Lilly blinked then nodded,

"Dad, you have no idea, as it stands I'm going to have to go to Gringotts tomorrow, which while not earth shattering it is annoying, sometimes being filthy rich is very irritating." The adults exchanged a glance while Hermione let out an amused snort,

"Yes love when you were dirt poor far fewer people were interested in your portfolio," before anything else could be said waiter returned and took all their orders, eventually a comfortable silence overtook the table as Hermione's parents observed the two young women leafing through the stack of legal documents. Eventually their meals arrived which caused Lilly to let out a pleased predators growl when her gigot d'agneau pleureur was placed before her. She took a sip of her red wine with every bite of lamb savoring the flavor, Hermione for her part had gone with a bowl of bouillabaisse as Fluer had once suggested but she drank her white wine less enthusiastically then her iron livered girlfriend.

As the pleasant dinner conversation wound down Emma finally asked what was on her mind, "Lilly I don't mean to pry but exactly how well off are you? I know its a bit faux pas but you've really piqued my curiosity." Smiling widely Lilly shook her hand unoffended,

"Oh don't worry about it, not trying to be mysterious or anything just annoyed, the Slytherin vaults I acquired through conquest and the Potter through inheritance, technically the Black vaults will be mine as well but I'm honestly hoping Papa Padfoot finds a ladytype that'll pop out a few cousin's for me to dote on." Looking to Hermione she than asked, "What's my net worth right now my lovely Goldkeeper? Not counting Pad's stuff?" Hermione flipped out a small notepad and leafed through its pages, eventually she replied,

"As of two days ago your _liquid _assets were 5.4 billion pounds sterling, or 54 million galleons, net worth including properties and annual interests is on the upper end of 13 billion pounds sterling or 130 million galleons, I don't have any info on the Black accounts on me though." Nodding Lilly turned back to her meal as the Granger couple stared at the teen girls in shock, it took a few minutes for Lilly to notice their vacant looks before she sputtered out,

"Wha-what's wrong?" Dan coughed lightly then asked,

"Are you trying to tell me you are a multi-billionaire?" Nodding slowly as she took another dainty sip of wine Lilly smiled meekly in reply,

"Err, yeah, kinda, I honestly grew up dirt poor and have no real concept of money as something other then a war resource, so I don't mean to be blase about my wealth it just doesn't really mean much to me other then being a means to end. And well...that end involves my enemies being dead, the magical world being brought to 20th century standards and my loved ones taken care of for life." Smirking at her brunette better half she eventually snarked,

"Although I have the strangest feeling _someon__e_ is going to be demanding a personal library at some point so its a damn good thing I have the means for it," the Granger's laughed as Hermione blushed while chiding her for swearing again, all was good with the world. Eventually an incredibly pleased Hedwig landed on the table with a porter house steak in her talons, the group watched in near mystification as the snowy white owl devoured the slab of bloody meat in less then a minute. Proving that she wasn't a proper lady Lilly's familiar belched then landed on her shoulder, before long she passed out occasionally hooting in contentment.

Stroking the hyper sated owls head in amusement Lilly turned back to the Granger's, "Here's the thing, I literally fell into most of this, I'm just a normal person with a rather jaded outlook on life, Hermione keeps me honest and I love her for that on top of everything else she does for me." At that Lilly snorted a bit while rolling her eyes, "Not like she needs me to spoil her now that she claimed her birthright anyhow," silence fell around the table as the adults both looked at Hermione questioningly.

Shrinking in on herself the young lady in question let out a small "eep" under the scrutiny, holding her face in both hands Lilly groaned into her palms before continuing, "You didn't tell them?" Hermione shook her head in the negative and took a few moments to gather her courage, finally she said,

"Mum, Dad, I am now the Lady Granger-Ravenclaw, it ends up that somewhere on mum's side a none magical born to the Ravenclaw line joined the muggle world and eventually led to me, technically speaking we're British Magical Nobility." That opened the floodgates, Lilly lost track of the scary intelligent families conversation so she simply pet her owl and finished her lovely dinner, some sort of consensus was met so the family eventually paid for their meal and left. The next day the Granger's drove them to Diagon Alley despite the girls insistence that they could apparate the lot of them there in an instant, a wasted few hours later the quartet entered the goblin bank of Gringotts.

It was as she expected, completely boring and largely unnecessary for her to be there other then to sign her name, damn did she hate blood quills. The one plus side to this little little lark was she finally got around to withdrawing both the Slytherin and Potter family grimoirs, alot of the spells in her recently acquired summoning book cross refrenced with them so it was for the best.

She and Hermione poured through the books over the next couple days, most of the spells were terrifyingly complex and required quite a bit of power to get off the ground, be it through sex, blood, or sacrificial magic. Some of the truly terrifying rites found in the appendix couldn't even be viewed without spilling blood on the pages, so those stayed happily unread, it wasn't until the following evening that things well and truly got wierd for the Lady of Slytherin.

Lilly was in a dreamscape, of this she was certain of since her last conscious thoughts had her head laying on her lovely Hermione's lap as they discussed what they they were going to buy the Granger's for Christmas. Not being religious in the bloody slightest the gift giving thing meant next to nothing to her aside from her desire to make those she loved happy, Hermione was doing her best to fix that problem and failing horribly.

Really it wasn't the bushy haired beauties fault, when you had been abused your entire childhood and constantly denied even the most basic attempts of care the holidays quite simply didn't mean a damn thing to you. It really wasn't like she thought that there wasn't something greater out their persay, her grimoir's kinda hint at that with the whole "Summoning Daemons and Angels" thing. Her personal belief just happened to be that their _was_ something more out there, it just didn't particularly care about peoples happiness. Thanking God by buying a bunch of worthless shite and shoving it under a dead tree didn't really flush with that mindset, that being said, dreamscape.

As things stood now Lilly was wearing a pair of bicycle shorts and a tank top standing alone in a beautiful pine forest next to a bubbly river, she had no shoes on but she sincerely doubted that mattered, from what she read nothing here was real anyhow so things such as physical discomfort weren't an issue. Following the river she began muttering to herself in annoyance,

"Stupid bloody powers that be dragging me through their bullshit power trips...I guarantee this is supposed to teach me some sort of asinine lesson I won't grasp until well after its pertinent." Eventually finding her way at a bend in the river Lilly noticed that the now roaring waters were clearly dyed a bloody red, eyes shifting up to the shadowed treetops she observed dozens of ravens staring down at her, all in eerie silence.

"O...k... not creepy," moving past Poe's buddies she cleared the tree's and spotted an old women on her knees near the near the stony shore, she was cleaning laundry while singing to herself in ancient Gaelic. Approaching the crone Lilly tried to get her attention,

"'Ello old mum, do you need a hand?" The crone ignored her as she tried to work a blood stain out of the emerald green bodice she held in the water, shrugging Lilly grabbed a grayish blue robe and squatted next to the hag and tried her best to remove similar stains from the garment. After a time the the old woman spoke in English,

"You came to us as a riddle little one, we do not know where to place you, are you a follower of the light, a disciple of the dark, or something in between? You insist you live in the shadows but you protect those you love with a mother bears ferocity yet treat your enemies like chaff, you are...interesting." Smirking Lilly found both garments to be oddly familiar but chose to ignore it in favor of responding,

"I get that a lot, I blame poor upbringing, strong personal morals, and a penchant for getting into trouble, I admit life's become significantly more interesting lately since my...change." Brows knitting together Lilly was finally able to piece together what was going on, and it honestly didn't bode well for her. Sighing in apprehension she asked, "So out of curiosity what did I do to garner the attention of the Morrígan of the Tuatha Dé Danann?" Pausing the old crone began cackling, standing up abruptly she shifted to a small girl with ankle length red hair, reminded Lilly of a pint size Ginny really.

"You are quick, it usually takes mortals much longer to realize that this isn't a simple dream," snorting Lilly stood and tossed aside the bloody robes that she now recognized as Hermione's.

Deciding that discretion was the better part of valor she respectfully stated, "When you're dating the smartest witch of the generation who has a compulsion to study everything before her you tend to absorb a bit, plus I've been reading through my family grimoire lately..." with that she trailed off as the little girl shifted into a sultry woman in her late twenties. Sauntering up to Lilly she gently grabbed her by the chin and stared into her eyes, the Morrígan's pupils glowed a faint red as she scanned the girl before her.

Releasing her the venue suddenly changed to a ravaged battlefield scattered with dead bodies and broken weapons, Lilly absently wondered if it was odd the blood and gore caked ground didn't remotely phase her. "That's why you are here actually, you are a generally paranoid woman, I'm sure you didn't think you found your families book of summoning and binding in all that trash by accident." Smirking Lilly nodded in return,

"Yeah kinda figured, once heard dad say 'Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you', my life is proof of fact of that." Changing back into the crone who sat next to an abandoned camp fire she jammed her walking stick into the ground and warily rested her hands and chin on its end,

"Well, as you can guess I may have had something to do with that, you are in the unique position of having no reason to believe in anything and having the power to do much, to put it bluntly you are an unaffiliated summoner and you have no idea how rare those are."

Lilly raised her hands palms out at this, "Hey I only just started reading the thing a month ago, I found some really interesting spells that I can get away with casting since they're classified as family magic and little else. I admit I took a look at some of the summoning rites but the really intriguing ones require a blood sacrifice to just _read_ the damn things," Eyes glowing the crone shifted back to the girl and glared up at the ravenette.

"Do not interrupt me again mortal," wisely snapping her mouth shut and saying nothing else the kid giggled out, "Hehehe, you are smart, you learn quickly, wish there had been more like you in the last thousand years." '_Note to self, terrifying pagan goddess of war is creepy in child form,'_ seemingly hearing the thought the Morrígan laughed again, "As for not reading further in fear of the blood price, this just further proves your worth to me by showing you are not a fool." Shifting back to the hottie they suddenly appeared before the remains of her parent's home at Godric's Hallow,

"Your mother followed the old ways, not obsessively mind you, but she had her private ceremonies on the solstices as is proper, much of the ancient magics can only be performed by a woman, such as summoning. You unlike you're mother follow no faith, and in doing so you are free to...pick and choose what you can call from the ether, so your lack of affiliation makes you a...desirable ally."

Lilly let out an incredibly intelligent, "Huh, brilliant," which had the Morrígan nod with a succinct "Indeed." Motioning to her mouth to see if it was ok to speak at length she began asking questions,

"So what do I get out of this, what do you get out of this, and why did you bother contacting me of all people? I'm not that special I just have a really weird habit of not dying when I really should." Shifting to the little girl she began skipping around the wreckage of the blown apart house,

"_You_ will get personal training from me on how to handle the magic found in that book while showing you how to not accidently sell your soul in the process, _I_ get an ally who can summon me to the mortal plane at will, and you _are_ special despite how much you insist against it." Smiling coyly she stared up into the night sky before continuing, "You are a child of prophecy, while you don't think it means anything trust me it does, despite how insane or utterly improbable a situation you find yourself in you always manage to not get killed. That dear is because you're bound to the Dark Lord, one of you has to die at the others hand, too bad he's a raging sociopath or you could have made a nice arrangement for free immortality."

Tapping her chin thoughtfully Lilly nodded in agreement, "Yeah was just considering that...bummer, well...ok I suppose I can work this out as long as I'm able to run any contract with you through a solicitor, no offense but I don't trust deals that sound too good to be true," Turning back into the crone she gave out a terrifying cackle in return.

"I knew I liked you, when you come to you'll find the documents at your side, the ceremony necessary to bring me to the mortal plane takes place on the winter solstice so do be quick about it, now off you go!"

When Lillith awoke she groggily looked up into Hermione's angelic face...slowly drooling as her head hung to one side, stifling the chuckle threatening to escape she gently sat up letting the napping woman catch some sleep. '_Well, that was honestly one of the stranger dreams I've had, note to self find out if Mrs. Granger typically spikes the cookies with extra herbs,' _with that amusing thought she glanced down at the coffee table and saw a stack of aged documents all written in olde english with a raven in flight at the header. Sighing she scooped up the parchments and readied herself for another trip to Gringotts,

"Finally get proof of a god and she's the embodiment death and war, ugh...think I need to hang out with Bella after this..."


	13. Chapter 13

**The segment with Mooney and Padfoot is just my indulgence in what _would_ a pair of filthy rich adult pranksters that suffer a complete lack of supervision do when they're goaded on by the likes of Bellatrix and Tonks. Anyway, this one was fun but I have two more chapters for others stories to finish to day so a bit shorter then normal.**

**Oh also didn't beta this one, so if things are mucky send me a PM and I'll fix it, as always PLEASE REVIEW!**

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><p>As much as she enjoyed being around the goblins Lillith was sincerely getting sick of Gringotts, it felt like she was there almost as much as she was at the Granger's and it took all her will power to remain calm; snapping at the people who handle your money and investments is not only bad business, its bloody stupid. She'd hired four of the most ruthless solicitors the Goblin Nation had to tear through the Morrigan's contract and while it took them some time they'd managed to translate it to the Queen's English rather then 'thousand year old goat herder' English.<p>

Everything seemed on the up and up except she needed to sacrifice an enemy at an alter to initiate the ceremony, what the hell is it with the pagan gods and sacrifices? So she paid the goblins their due and put the whole sacrifice thing in the back of her mind for the time being, nothing to truly do for it now. She aparated back to Hermione's place well after midnight and found her still asleep, smirking she shrunk the contract and jammed it into her pocket; walking over to her girlfriend she cast the levitating charm and gently guided her into their room, lifting the covers she lay her in the bed and cancelled the spell.

Turning to the door she closed it and cast a locking charm, stripping down to her underclothes she slid into bed and pulled the blankets over them, Hermione automatically shifted into her embrace which admitidly had Lilly grinning. Flicking her wand at the light switch the room went dark and she quickly fell into a thankfully dreamless sleep.

She woke up to a pleasant sensation, cracking her eyes open Hermione was gently kissing her while tickling her neck with light finger strokes, returning the kiss (and tickles) the two now laughing young women got out of bed and performed their morning rituals. Meeting the Granger's at the table Hermione cheerfully greeted them,

"'Ello mum and dad, how did you two sleep last night?" Emma waved groggily as she was preparing breakfast and Dan lowered his paper smiling at his daughter and her girlfriend,

"Well enough dear, you two look a bit rumpled though, everything all right?" It was an obvious attempt to figure out exactly how close their relationship was but Lillith just deflected it.

"Eh, she fell asleep reading on the couch for a few hours and I had to go out in the dead of the night to the bank, _again_ to handle more stuff I'd rather not deal with," eyeing the coffee pot in Emmas hand she decided to forgo being a proper English woman this once and offered up her mug. "Drink tea later...need caffeine now..." snorting at this Dan went back to his paper while Hermione began chattering with her mum, eventually they heard a sharp tapping at the window.

Hermione let the post owl in and it offered a letter up to Lilly, taking it and giving the pleased owl a sausage link she cracked the seal and began reading, smiling she handed it to Hermione.

"So Remus is back, Bellatrix and Sirius should be moved into Potter Manor already so would you like to go visit them today and find out exactly where your uncles been?" Pecking her on the cheek Lilly immediately turned back to her coffee,

"Sounds like a plan brown eyes, considering I saw Padfoot hand him a rather large sack of money I'm quite curious, plus I need to talk to Bella about something anyway." Eventually breakfast wound down and the Granger's headed off to their practice, Lilly and Hermione then got dressed then aparated to her ancestral home.

_That's_ when they heard the explosions, the girls exchanged a wide eyed gasp as they ran to the back side of mansion to see...chaos...utter and complete chaos. The open fields beyond the mansion were littered with destroyed lorries, autos, and what looked like a 747 jumbo jet, standing before the stunned teens in all their Communist glory were four tanks with the sickle and hammer emblazoned on their sides. Each tank had a cackling wizard or witch sticking their heads out of the hatches as they aimed their war machines down range, all in all this might actually hit number two on Lilly's list.

As one the Soviet tanks fired their cannons and took out several trees and an already burning lorry, casting a sonarus Lilly yelled,

"HEY!" Grabbing the attention of the trigger happy nuts the pair watched as Bellatrix hopped out of her tank first, she was wearing a full cassock outfit including the fur hat, she offered Lilly a bottle of Russian vodka while cheerfully stating,

"Budem zdorovy!" Looking to Hermione for permission she just rolled her eyes, Lilly returned the toast and took a swig, them promptly gagged,

"Merlin, Morgana, and Mordred are you sure that isn't lighter fluid?" Bella glanced at the label and shrugged,

"No not really, I can't read Cyrillic letters, what do you think of Remus' new toys? Sirius had him go pick these up for your Defense class." Hermione goggled at the batty witch as she tried to process this,

"Sirius purchased _tanks_ for our DADA class?!" Nodding and smiling as the other three tanks turned off she began giggling,

"He wants the kids to see how a group of muggles could easily overwhelm the purist of the pure-bloods, I didn't believe it either before this morning, blowing stuff up is quite the lark!" Patting her Wicked Witch on the shoulder affectionately Lilly turned to face Sirius, Remus and...Tonks?

Sirius was grinning like a mad man as he clinked bottles with his fellow tank commanders and took a swig of the foul vodka,

"What do you think pup? Mooney really came through on this one I mean wow, you can buy _anything_ in Russia, he nearly bought us a submarine but they wanted me to pay extra for the missiles and we didn't have enough, but!" He pointed to a stack of crates, "He did get us a bunch of automatic rifles and something called RPGs, dunno what those are he says they're like single shot demolition curses."

"You bought Ak-47s?!" Hermione shouted, Remus snorted as he wrapped an arm around Tonks...wow...well...far be it from the lesbian apprentice summoner to call the werewolf out on social norms,

"No, these are AK-74's, much better, that a few dozen RPG-7's, a few Dragunov sniper rifles and some Tokarev pistols, never liked the Makarov they just piss most dark creatures off." Letting out a very slow breath Lilly conjured a love seat and sat next to Hermione, taking a minute to relax she opened her bottomless bag and pulled out four vials."

"Drink these, talk to me in five minutes...," being as drunk as they were they followed her orders, now sober the four adults (both girls found this title questionable) looked at the destruction around them with satisfaction, eventually Sirius was finally coherent enough to explain the situation.

"So I had this idea right? We have all these Pure-Bloods who have no idea how the real world operates, most of them think muggles are still armed with flintlock muskets for crying out loud. So I remembered Mooney did some...questionable business transactions when he was forced into the muggle world and he still had a few old contacts, couple million pounds later I'm swimming in Soviet war material.

"I plan on having him show you and your little DADA club how to use the small arms, James and Lily had to figure it out on their own so you'll have an advantage, cousin Tonks is already designing some runes to reduce the weight, recoil, noise, and flash on the weapons to make the rifles even scarier. Anyway we're going to place a few minor shield wards on the tanks and since they have ATM shielding-" Mooney interrupted him there

"EMP Pads," nodding enthusiastically he continued,

"Yeah the Empy thingy makes it so it shouldn't be hurt by magic, I want to show the kids that not only do the muggles out number us they have no reason to fear us and we need to reevaluate things. Oh and I'm gonna see if we can make them fly, cause you know...why not one up Arthur." It was a very...in your face way of confronting the magical world on how truly outdated they were but it could work. Lilly dropped her head then said,

"Fine, ok, I get it, Bella come talk to me while we let these crazy people teach my girlfriend how to be a proper conscript," Hermione let out an amused snort as she smacked Lilly's bum and moved to follow a practically hopping Padfoot as Mooney led the group to the crates of weapons.

"If you are the only sane woman in a crazy world does that not make you the crazy one?" Bellatrix quipped while smiling at Lilly lazily, her dreamy half lidded gaze not making eye contact. Keeping her cool Lilly smiled in return,

"I'm doing something on the twenty-second that requires I...sacrifice an enemy, any suggestions?" Eyes lighting up in excitement she nodded,

"I most certainly do, and the best part is it will kill two birds with one stone!" Grinning she sidled up to her Wicked Witch and offered her the bottle of vodka she'd previously discarded,

"Do tell me more dear cousin."

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><p><span><em><strong>Night of the Winter Solstice<strong>_

It's a little known fact that Stonehenge is actually one of several magical leyline focal centers on the British isles, out of the thirteen originally built its the only one that stopped functioning correctly, hence why muggles found it. The twelve working circles are all heavily warded against detection and for the most part forgotten by the magical world at large, their original purpose long forgotten in the mists of time. Fortunately the Morrigan had given directions in the contract to the nearest one so no needless hours and hours of research needed, which was good because there was no way Hermione was going to dirty her hands with this one.

As midnight approached Lillith shown her torch on the intricate rune she'd spent the better part of two days carving into the ground, it never hurt to double check your work. Satisfied she transfigured the soft soil into stone and waited for Bellatrix to arrive with the sacrifice, she'd been rather uncomfortable with it at first but when she found out what Bella had gleamed from the man's mind well...she was looking forward to this. With a crack her lithe cousin and a chubby man in night clothes aparated into the center of the circle, grinning Bella let the man fall over as she swept both hands around her presenting her prize,

"Tada! Now don't forget yor promised I get to pull my prank on the Auror's with him when we're done," Nodding trying to repress a morbid smile Lilly thanked her then approached the man, she enervated him and calmly waited on him to get his bearings. Eventually he groggily got to his feet and gasped,

"You!" as his sagging jowls quivered in fear,

"Yes, me Minister Fudge, me me me, see I was just going to ignore you for being nothing more then an incompetent arse, really I was but you see my Wicked Witch smashed right through your pathetic mental barriers and found out oh so many interesting things." As she said this she gestured towards Bella who waved, Fudge pissed himself as he gasped,

"Bellatrix LeStrange! That means...you...your the... the..." Lilly grinned evily while Bella let out one of her trademark insane cackles just for the laughs, Lilly then continued his sentence for him,

"The new Dark Lady? Not quite, and its Bella Black now, see no Dark Mark? Anyhow I digress we're getting off track here, see you had Umbitch send a couple dementors after me, repeatedly tried to have my innocent godfather executed, slandered my name for speaking the truth, and sabotaged an entire generations ability to defend itself with sub par defense education.

"But well, that really isn't why you're going to die, how you must have been looking forward to turning me into your nubile little pet wife, already had the marriage papers written up and the sex dungeon prepared. I honestly thought that entire trial was just to reel me in but you're just a self entitled pig who wanted my wealth and a plaything." She scoffed as she began pacing around the quivering man who was too terrified to move with Bellatrix staring him down, she hated admitting it but she was enjoying his fear,

"Well, can't say I'm sorry I avoided that, on the plus side my new teacher is most definitely going to love hearing who I used to bring her into the world, that being said, Wicked Witch, do you mind?" Bella stepped forward and in one quick motion slit Fudges throat with her concealed sleeve knife, careful to not let the blood splatter her she kicked the twitching corpse over to bleed out into the rune.

After a time she checked at her watch and nodded, flicking her wand at Fudge's corpse it flew out of the circle landing next to Bella, cracking open the grimoire she glanced over to her cousin, "this is gonna be awhile so if you wanna go have your fun knock yourself out." Grinning Bella nodded, grabbed the corpse and aparated out, '_That woman is utterly terrifying' _she reflected. Reading from the book she began the incantation while making the proper wand movements, thankfully since the area was already overcharged from the solstice that it didn't draw too much from her own magic.

As the spell became more complex and demanding she realized how wrong that was, her power began depleting at an alarming rate and she became worried that she couldn't hold the spell much longer. As the incantation sped up to where it became one long word and her wand movements a blur there was a flash and she was thrown backwards, thank Morgana she didn't crash into one of the stones, as the light faded she heard one of the most beautifually terrifying sounds in the world.

"Hahahahehehehahaha! Ah corporeal again, its been soooo long," sitting up Lilly's eyes widened as a gorgeous red headed woman garbed in blackened steel and leather armor stood before her, sword in hand. "Thank you dear girl, as the contract states I'll begin your training when you return to your school, as for now I'm going to go catch up with some old friends, the Valkyries are going to flip when they see I'm back! I cannot wait to see Kára and Geiravör again!"

Lilly shared the smile while nervously saying, "Well, brilliant, I'm glad everything went off without a hitch, and I look forward to studying with you," Grinning the Morrigan stood before her and helped her to her feet, she bent down kissing Lilly on the forehead and she suddenly felt power flow into her. Gasping at the new energies swarming in her core her eyes flashed brightly before she was able to bring it into balance,

"My blessing little one, use it well, enjoy the rest of Yule, you deserve it," and like that the pagan goddess was gone, Lilly stood there for a few minutes before she burst out laughing,

"God my life is messed up, ah well," deciding to try out some of her new knowledge and power she spread her arms wide and shifted into a raven taking to the sky, '_Wait'll dad sees this!'_

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><p>Lucius Malfoy was reevaluating his life decisions at the moment, following the Dark Lord had upon his revival had seemed like the right decision even though he really <em>hadn't<em> wanted him back, in the intervening decade between his fall and resurrection Lucius had grown quite comfortable in his position. Narcissa was furious when he'd allowed the Dark Lord to stay at their manor and had vacated to one of the country estates to cool down, he didn't think much of it until his mansion exploded in September. He was immediately put under investigation since even his money couldn't cover something like this up and he'd received a steady stream of howlers from his increasingly estranged wife over what a fool he was, he had begun to agree with her.

Then that bastard Sirius Black had claimed the Lordship that was supposed to go to Draco and disbanded the marriage contracts with the Malfoy's and LeStrange's, Bellatrix disappeared almost immediately bringing into question if she was ever actually willingly following the Dark Lord. To make matters even more complicated he received an owl the next day from Narcissa Black saying that she had already filed the papers to adopt Draco and she had moved in with her now reinstated sister Andromeda to make up for lost time. The parting line of "You chose your bed, I hope he bites you in your sleep," really hadn't helped, so here he was in Birmingham freezing his arse off preparing a ceremony he wanted no part of.

Much like a Fidelius charm the wards on this Stonehenge'esqe ley focai prevented most from seeing it or harming it, so Lucius did his best not to recognize the fact they were in the middle of an industrial park, casting a tempus he nodded at the time then stated,

"It is time my Lord," The cloak wrapped man nodded, no one outside his inner circle had seen or heard Lord Voldemort since the accident in September, tonight's ceremony was intended to fix that. The massive runic circle carved into the ground was already pulsing with energy, nearly thirty muggles had been murdered to activate the array, the blood requirement was quite steep. Gingerly the deformed dark lord removed his cloak and slid into the cauldron in the center of the array submerging himself in the potions, sighing to himself Lucius took out the cup of Helga Hufflepuff that was placed in his care and began chanting.

At the stroke of midnight he tossed the cup into the cauldron and ran like hell, there was a flash of light and a great calamitous roar behind him so he cast the strongest shield he could muster, lucky him since he was thrown directly through a concrete wall. Groaning he crawled out of the hole he'd made and was shocked to see that the stone circle was destroyed, all the latent magic gone including the muggle repelling wards, standing in the center of the blast zone was the Dark Lord.

He was laughing manically as Lucius approached, throwing a robe over his Lords shoulders Voldemort turned around and Lucius was shocked to see the sharp features of Tom Riddle, he was still bald but he more resembled the charismatic man he originally followed rather then the delusional sociopath he'd been stuck with since the Triwizard Tournament.

"Ah Lucius, my ever so loyal Lucius, even when I was damaged and deranged you stayed beside me, I really couldn't have done this without you, you shall be rewarded," still grinning he tapped Lucius Dark Mark and suddenly they were surrounded by cloaked and masked Death Eaters.

"My followers, the ailment that the Potter brat brought upon me has now been lifted, we have been quiet for far too long but we must be patient, we will strike these unsuspecting fools at the turn of the new year, it is time the mudbloods and blood traitors remember why we are feared." Slightly confused he looked about a moment then asked, "Where's Bellatrix?" sighing inwardly Lucius could only think

'_Oh bollocks_'

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><p>A bleary eyed Amelia Bones flooed into the Ministry and paused seeing the utter pandemonium taking place, it was three in the morning and even though she'd been called in for an emergency she hadn't quite expected this. Making for the lifts she was stopped by two of her better auror's, Shacklebolt looked as dignified as ever but Tonks looked like she was ready to fall over,<p>

"Late night Auror Tonks?" She grumbled something incoherent as Kingsley gave his report,

"Madam the Dark Mark was found above Minister Fudges residence, the press are in an uproar and general panic is spreading, I was asked by Head Auror Scrimgeour to escort you there immediately." Nodding her thanks they pushed their way through the frantic crowd and flooed directly to Fudge's home, the first thing she noticed was the place was a wreck, it looked as if someone had just started flinging _reductos_ at anything that looked at them funny.

Gingerly stepping over all the debris she found her Head Auror standing by the splintered door to Fudges study, the normally taciturn man seemed a bit ill, he nodded respectfully before stating,

"Madam, you'll want to see this it's...well it's bad" entering the room the first thing she noticed was 'He Has Returned' written in blood on the walls, the second thing was the group of Auror's trying to restrain the flailing Cornelius Fudge, or rather the _inferius_ that use to be the Minister of Magic. Gasping she stood back feeling real fear for the first time in years,

"He's back...You-Know-Who is back," Rufus nodded woodenly,

"So it would seem, the question is what do we do now?" Getting over her shock Amelia stood up strait and spun on her heel,

"Auror Shacklebolt I want a report on all our defenses, contingencies, and available materiel, Auror Scrimgeour wake that fool Dumbledore up and tell him we need an emergency meeting of the Wizengameot, Auror Tonks, black coffee, and lots of it. Move it people we have a war to prepare for."

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><p>A block away hiding under Lilly's invisibility cloak Bellatrix giggled as she dropped her omniocular's into her bag, the pig Fudge was dead, Amelia was in position to run for minister and it would be a forgone victory once she received the backing from the Potter's, Black's, and Longbottom's. She was pleased that she was able to give the good guys early warning, create mayhem and pull off the occasional justified murder, Lillith was seriously the best boss ever. Giggling again she quipped,<p>

"Enjoy fighting a competent enemy just as ruthless as you are _Tom_, I can hardly wait!"


	14. Chapter 14

_**I'll update again in the next couple days I just had alot of fun writing this and I wanted my readers on this side of the pond to have something to go over this weekend, as always please review and enjoy the show I have to get to work on the next chapter.**_

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><p><span><em><strong>December 23, 1995 The Potter Manor<strong>_

Releasing an exhausted sigh Remus fell onto the couch with an audible thump, chin resting on his chest he glanced up to see an equally drained Sirius stumble into the room pulling off the violet robes of the Wizengameot and tossing them into the fireplace. After the day they'd had he didn't blame his longtime friend in the slightest, while Remus was more then grateful that Hermione had chosen him to represent the House of Ravenclaw today's proceedings made him regret that appointment.

Not noticing that Sirius had left the room he started a bit as the old dog conjured a table and placed a tea set and a bottle of brandy before him, plopping next to his hetero lifemate the two marauders prepared their drinks and stared into the distance.

"Well...when all of Umbitch's anti-werewolf legislation was repealed I bet you never thought you'd have to deal with this eh Mooney?" Taking a sip of his fortified tea the weary man simply shook his head,

"No I can't say I imagined I'd be in bloody court for twelve hours strait with nothing to keep me going but a packet of crackers and a litre of coffee...Amelia will make a fine Minister of Magic, although I'm fairly certain she's going to attempt to murder you for nominating her." Snorting Sirius drained his cup and refilled it, Remus didn't fail to notice there was far more brandy then tea being transferred,

"Price I'm willing to pay for competent leadership, did you see the look on Scrimgour's face when Shacklebolt was promoted past him to the new head of the DMLE? Thought the man was going to fly into a rage," at that the Potter Estates current guests wandered into the room escorted by a pink haired Tonks, the Granger's gave the exhausted pair a level look before sitting across from them.

"You two look beat, where's the girls?" Tonks slid onto Remus' lap and began playing with his hair, finding this a satisfactory position to be in he let Sirius' field the question,

"Like Lilly said earlier Fudge was offed, and to be honest you'd be hard pressed to convince me that she didn't have a hand in it, considering the man tried to have us all killed at one point or another I don't particularly care. Anyway while we had to sit around for most of the day going over who was going to replace him our girls had to go deal with the backroom proceedings, probably still wheeling and dealing at the moment." Frowning a bit Emma fixed herself and Dan a cup before replying,

"Like bribing and the such? I thought that's what they were trying to get rid of," Snorting Remus shook his head in amusement,

"No more like Lilly beating half the pureblood party into submission for having the audacity to insult your daughter with some rather nasty slurs, while her reputation at school has taught people to respect her penchant for violence it hadn't really migrated...well until today. So with dominance established they're solidifying their position as heads of the moderate party." Sirius nodded as he swallowed his tea,

"Hermione basically called out all known Death Eaters thanks to Bella's intel, when they threatened her she casually pulled up her left sleeve and dared the rest of them to do so, that's when they called her that infuriating word, then Lilly got mad." Tonks snorted lightly,

"And unlike when she was Harry instead of storming off and brooding she typically causes property damage, glad Madam Bones let me go home before that I'm not ready to get my ass handed to me by my over protective little cousin while she was itching to fight." There was a light chuckle from the doorway and all the adults turned to see the Ladies of Slytherin and Ravenclaw entering the room escorted by a broadly grinning Bellatrix.

"Yes well better _I_ get angry rather then Hermione, I'm vengeful but forgiving, she's vindictive and I really need some of these people to stay alive for the time being," Bella's face dropped a bit at this,

"Awww, really? I was having ever so much fun too!" Grinning Lilly pulled a slip of paper from her pocket and handed it to her now despondent cousin,

"Here you go dear, go shopping make sure to cast our mark after you burn the mansion down, oh and leave a few witnesses this time, Happy Christmas," Letting out an excited "Yay!" the unstable witch left the room muttering something about using grenades as bludgers, honestly Remus didn't want to know. Hermione shook her head as the door slammed shut looking both amused and a bit apprehensive.

"Lils only you would keep a dangerous psychopath content by giving her a steady supply of vandalism, destruction of property and useful murder," the ravenette grinned cheekily at that,

"Its a gift love, I have a way of attracting talent," neither girl noticed both Remus and Sirius grimacing slightly when Hermione called her 'Lils', that had been the Marauder's pet name for Lily Potter and for a moment brought a flash of pain at the reminder of their fallen friends. The Granger's looked slightly uncomfortable on how casually the teens were discussing killing people but considering the targets were dangerous terrorists who'd kidnapped, raped, and murdered hundreds if not thousands of people they decided to keep their peace. Clearing his throat Remus reacquired everyone's attention,

"So with Amelia now in control when do you think Voldemort will move to assassinate her?" Lilly's eyes flashed brightly for a moment as she scowled,

"Sometime after the new year, hell maybe even _on_ new years day, I'd actually like to train a few people on your new crazy ass flying tanks and have them patrol her manor grounds disillusioned, I personally like the idea of dropping 42 tonnes of armor on a Death Eater hit squad," Sirius tapped his chin thoughtfully and promised he'd look into it. Nodding the pair of young witches conjured chairs and sat beside the Granger's, Hermione wrapped an arm around Dan as Lilly poured herself a cup of tea, they all sat in comfortable silence for a time before Emma asked,

"So where would you like to spend Christmas day? Hermione already explained your point of view on religion but I'd love for you to go to church with us," instead of reacting as everyone expected (i.e. abject disgust) Lilly looked contemplative for a moment then nodded,

"I can swing with that, I'd like you two to remain guests till the first for your safety and to let our families mingle a bit more, honestly I can't wait until we're done with our O.W.L's and N.E.W.T's this not seeing our loved ones for months on end thing is getting tedious." The group muttered agreements with that, with all out war on the horizon any time spent with those you loved was precious, Lilly leaned over and whispered into Hermione's ear, "They make me sing at this god botherer convention I _will_ be reminding everyone that my favorite band is the Ramones." _  
><em>

Hermione did her best to contain the laugh that wanted to bark out, the idea of Lilly breaking out "I wanna be sedated" in the middle of a packed church filling her with both horror and mirth, shaking her head she muttered,

"You're trouble you know that?" Grinning even wider she twitched her tea cup towards the pair of half comatose Marauders,

"You have met my dad and uncle yes?" Hermione met Sirius' gray eyes and noticed a playful light in them along with a slight smirk, his animagus enhanced hearing catching the conversation and obviously enjoying his new title immensely, she couldn't blame the man he'd suffered greatly and he finally had what he'd desperately wanted since his mother disowned him, family. Returning the smirk she released her arm from her dad's shoulders to instead pull Lilly close, the war was coming to their doorstep within the next few weeks and she'd be damned if she was going to waste the time she was given, summoning a bottle of firewhiskey she placed it on the table and conjured several shot glasses.

Grinning at Sirius and Remus she asked, "So you boys know any good drinking songs and games?" The two men exchanged glances as Tonks hopped off the couch and conjured herself an armchair, Mooney stroked his chin for a moment before breaking the seal on the bottle,

"So, this one time in Ireland I was called into this small town to bail out Prongs and Padfoot, little did I realize they'd used the wine conjuration spell to get the entire constabulary drunk..."

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><p><span><em><strong>The Goyle Manor<strong>_

As Bellatrix apparated outside the ancient mansion's wards she began humming to herself as she placed the ward breaking rune stones about the area, these were professional Gringott's level curse breaker tools that Lilly had been able to cajole from the Goblins, for a price of course. Lilly proved that "its not what you know but _who _you know" was true when she'd had the incredibly yummy Bill Weasely train Bella how to operate them and now it was time for her to start her reign of terror. As she began charging the stones she grinned as she broke out into song,

_"Mais d'où vient l'émotion étrange qui me fascine autant qu'elle me dérange je frissonne poignardé par le beau c'est comme dans l'âme le couteau la blessure traverse mon cœur Et j'ai la joie dans la douleur je m'enivre de ce poison a en perdre la raison." **[For the none-bilingual readers- Now where does this strange feeling come from that fascinates me just as much as it disturbs me, I shiver stabbed by the beauty it's like a knife in my soul the wound going right through my heart and I feel joy in the pain, I intoxicate myself with this poison until it makes me loose my mind]** _With that the wards fell and she sauntered onto the grounds pulling out the special package from the Weasley twins, enlarging the massive contraption she activated its timer and cast sound muffling and disillusionment charms on herself as she waited for the literal fireworks to start.

Eventually the machine made a grinding noise and began launching hundreds of flares into the sky detonating into magical burning dragons and wyrms as they danced across the ebony expanse, making her way to the manor she watched the Goyle family rush out en masse to view the disturbance. They must have been celebrating the solstice since there was no less then two dozen adults now watching the display in confusion and awe, all the better for her. Walking up behind the closest woman who smelled horribly of perfume Bella grasped the woman's mouth as she slit her throat, laying her quietly on the ground unnoticed by the crowd dazzled by the explosives she repeated the process over the next two minutes.

"'Ello Gregory," Gregory Goyle senior spun around to see Bellatrix Black grinning at him with a field of dead bodies lying behind her, before he could pull his wand out Bella jammed a dagger into his stomach and let him fall, "Lilly said to leave survivors, she didn't say in what condition to leave them in, if your son has an ounce of wisdom he'll survive the night as well, hope you enjoy the show." Turning to the building in question Bella grinned as she cast fiendfyre upon the ancient manor, much like her mistress the demonic fire spell took the shape of a serpent and began slithering along the outer walls leaving an inferno in its wake.

Much to her annoyance it appeared the children of her murder victims had _some_ survival instincts as they ran out of the burning building, pouting a bit she glanced down at Goyle senior and decided "Fuck it" and blew his head off with a _Reducto_. Honestly Lilly would probably approve and with the kids as witnesses her orders were complete, pointing her wand to the sky she cast the spell Lilly had recently come up with and grinned at its glowing brilliance.

The "Anti-Dark Mark" as Hermione liked to describe it took over the sky, an emerald raven with its wings swept open holding a brutalized snake in its talons hovered above the demon fueled fire, declaring war on all those that sided with the pretender Voldemort. Still grinning she decided to leave the hell fire to do its thing on its own and Bellatrix apparated back home to find the group drinking and laughing at Sirius' singing, Lilly and Hermione giggling and clapping along with the old dogs refrain. Not wanting to interrupt the moment Bella snagged the half empty bottle of whiskey and took a swig as she curled up next to the girls, she really loved her new family.

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><p>Lord Voldemort was annoyed, he hadn't been 'infuriated' since the ceremony that brought back his sanity and he was thankful for it at the moment, more then likely he'd have flown into a blind rage if he'd received this news earlier. The Potter bitch was moving against him, and unlike the old goat fuckers fried chicken alliance Lillith Alice Black was willing to play the game his way, meaning <em>alot<em> of dead bodies, a tonne of property damage and a spectacle the news papers couldn't ignore. Lucius approached apprehensively obviously worried he'd be tortured for whatever updates he had, Voldemort silently cursed himself for his lapse into insanity, after all who wanted to follow a man who treated you like his enemies? Clearing his throat the blonde man gave his report,

"My lord, according to the children...Bellatrix Black lured the adults outside and systematically executed all of them, she then set the building on fire and cast that mark into the sky, all told she killed 27 of your followers and backers..." Voldemort remained silent but nodded to his longtime friend. Receiving the acknowledgment Lucius left to handle the fallout before the ministry showed up, and they really needed to be out of here before they did the new leadership was _not_ as pliable as Fudge had been. Glancing to Theodore Nott Senior he spoke in a deep baritone,

"Leave the bodies, while it will temporarily lift the spirits of the traitors and filth hiding the passing of nearly thirty of our societies upper crust would be far too much effort for no gain, see if you can remove that mark from the sky but take no more then a half hour to do so. If you cannot remove it meet me back at the Riddle manor, that is all." The large man nodded, his shaven head reflecting the firelight of the burning Goyle manor, apparating back home Tom Riddle sighed as he sat in his throne. "What a waste" was all he could say, he'd lost his most fanatical follower due to his stupidity and a voided marriage contract, and she was quite handily proving that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Glancing down at Nagini he shook his head in annoyance, why the literal hell did he make a _living_ thing one of his horcruxes? Seriously he had to have been in the deepest of insanities to think that was a good idea, silently deciding that he'd have to transfer her soul shard into something he could hide in a safety deposit box he would never know that his thoughts mirrored that of his nemesis. Turning on the telly Lord Voldemort began to relax a bit, sure he had no idea what was coming tomorrow but dwelling on it wouldn't help in the slightest, plus he'd missed several seasons of Doctor Who during his "death" and it was time to catch up, fuck it Lucius and Teddy could handle it for now.

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><p><span><em><strong>Decembe 25 1995, Potter Manor<strong>_

Lilly had a hard night of sleep though that was a misnomer, she had a _terrible_ night of sleep and was currently doing her best to ignore that fact as she stumbled down the halls of her ancestral home. Dad had been more then willing to break out the holiday cheer the past few days and unfortunately she was _not_ a 22 year old man and couldn't handle the amount of alcohol necessary to keep up with her dogfather, hence her frequent washroom visits. Clad in a punk rock t-shirt and a pair of panties she stumbled into the loo and vacated her stomach, after a time she brushed her teeth and spat out the foul residue hoping Hermione didn't find out about this, her girlfriend had a habit of bringing up laser guided "I told you so's".

Feeling a bit more clear headed she left the room and ran into Tonks who apparently hadn't bothered with any of her morphing tricks this early in the AM so she was in her natural state which greatly resembled her mother aside from her lank hair being the same pitch black of her cousins rather then a rich a brown.

'Wotcher Lils, keeping up with the boys is becoming a full time job," glancing at her cousins attire she decided her favorite auror had a similar night to hers considering she was wearing little more then a David Bowie shirt and a pair of mens boxers.

"Happy Christmas 'Dora, how are you holding up?" Grinning her cousin leaned against the wall while quirking her eyebrows up,

"Well, never let it be said that being with a man who has werewolf stamina is boring, aside from that I can honestly say that I won't be missing the drinking when I go back to work. Out of curiosity have you considered...you know, being with a man since your change?" Surprising both parties present Lilly simply shrugged,

"My desires are still focused on women, I can appreciate a good looking guy like a work of art but I hold no lust for them...well...Charlie Weasley is a bit hard to resist but outside of that I'm fine with Hermione," Tonks busted out into laughter at this and took a good few to calm down.

"Sorry sorry, just so you know I was at school with Charlie and you basically described the entire female populations opinion of him so don't feel too weird about it, and sorry for prying I was just curious since you know...I'm kind of a fan of wizards that have knobs at the end of their staves so to speak." Snorting at her cousins crudeness Lilly kicked off the wall and was about to head for the kitchen when she heard a deep *thump thump thump* from the front door, curious the pair made for the manors greeting room. As the duo of witches approached the front doors Bellatrix intercepted them grinning widely, like her cousins she was clad in little more then a Iron Maiden t-shirt more then likely stolen from Sirius,

"'Ello my lovelies, we have guests!" Lilly rolled her eyes at that but chose not to respond, antagonizing her resident serial killer was an incredibly stupid and needless action, the three ladies of Black swung the front door open to be confronted with something none of them anticipated. Narcissa, Andromeda, and Draco Black stood before them arms filled with wrapped gifts, Lilly felt her head fall to the side as she tried to register this event but her mind was currently on 'read only' mode, thankfully her Wicked Witch was batshit insane so she didn't suffer from such things as logic burnouts.

"CISSY, DROMA!" And with that Bellatrix rushed forward and pulled her sisters into rib crushing hugs sending their presents flying in the process, Draco for his part was flushing brightly seeing the trio of attractive women in near undress. Raising a single brow at her former nemesis Lilly had to admit that Draco's lack of freakout was intriguing, conjuring a skirt for herself she slipped it on before addressing her visitors.

"Well...it appears dads invite was not ignored after all, please make yourselves comfortable while I wake everyone else," spinning on her heel she marched upstairs to wake up her dad, he had some shit to answer for and "I was drunk" was not going to fly with her this time.


	15. Chapter 15

_**This chapter contains a lot of fluff, and then a metric tonne of murder and mayhem, later parts will be VERY graphic and disturbing, you've been warned. Next chapter and many following it will contain almost none of the happiness this one has, war is rarely pleasant for those who have to fight it, also when it comes to Lilly's shifting sexuality please remember (and it will be touched on heavily next chapter) she's a strong willed woman being constantly "guided" by three ancient bloodlines rings trying to force her to be a proper lady. Wires get erm...crossed since her position is rather unique. **_

_**Oh and as one reviewer said this hasn't really been plot driven thus far since everyone had their plans knocked off the rails, that's changing now that Tom and Lilly finally got their shit together, well Tom has anyway Lilly is becoming far more...interesting, anywho ENJOY AND REVIEW!**_

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><p>Sirius jolted awake sputtering as cold water washed over his body, sitting up and using his hands to shield his face from the constant stream the deluge eventually ended leaving him soaked. Wiping his eyes he met the gaze of his rather irate daughter as she stood before him wand in one hand while the other rested on her hip, raising a manicured brow she asked,<p>

"Care to explain why Auntie Andromada, Narcissa, and Draco Black are currently in the sitting room for Christmas dad?" Grabbing a pillow to wipe the conjured water from his face he wracked his brain for a moment and then remembered, grinning sheepishly he replied,

"Err...I think I was drunk?" Lillith growled a bit as her eyes flashed, hitting him with another aquamenti out of annoyance she eventually cut the spell and began rubbing the bridge of her nose as she collected her thoughts. Huffing she dropped her arms to her sides and stated in a rather matter of fact tone,

"Your new years resolution is to drink less, I know that you've been freed from hell on Earth but this is getting bloody stupid, unless you want me to start shoving sobriety potions down your throat you best learn to moderate. Hells bells even Tonks is getting sick of it and shes the consumate party girl, and honestly I'm sick of trying to keep up with you I shouldn't be drinking like this until I'm at least in Uni. Get showered, changed, and meet us downstairs in twenty, I have to figure out some last minute presents so its on you to look after yourself."

With that his daughter spun on her heel sending her skirt fluttering in the process and left the room, scratching his head absently Sirius couldn't help the wry grin spreading across his face,

"Oh James if you could see how much your kid takes after Lily...hehe...ah hell... do I even have any clean clothes?"

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><p>Lilly was pleased to note that Hermione and her parents were already waking on their own so she didn't have to interfere with that process, letting her girlfriend in on the change of the early morning activities she faced off against the brown eyed beauty until she finally sighed and agreed to be in the same room as Draco. Frankly Lilly was going to accept that with open arms, her feelings towards her cousin were so mixed up she didn't need to add her lovers issues into the equation. Reflecting on how screwed up her life tended to be she threw her arms in the air and her face took on her best "screw it" scowl, heading back to the sitting room she slammed the thick oak doors open and approached her family and...fuck Draco was family...ugh...<p>

"Ok...Long made short I didn't know you lot were going to be here, I have no presents for any of you, so we're all going to pretend my dad bothered to inform the rest of us this get together was going to happen and _next_ year we'll actually behave as family. As it stands, the least I can offer you is breakfast." Andromeda and Narcissa both smirked at her blunt words while Draco simply looked uncomfortable, good, he should be Lilly had spent some serious effort into putting the fear of the goddess in the little blonde ponce. Auntie 'Droma cleared her throat and spoke up,

"Truth be told I...half expected something like that, I'm just pleased you're enough like your parents that you admit it out front instead of putting on an aire, it's fine really being reinstated into the family is more then enough present for me and I'm sure Cissy feels the same with her divorce." Narcissa grinned widely at that while she nodded in agreement,

"I've been trying to get away from the egomaniacal prat for years, sorry Draco I know you still hero worship your father but he is a right arse," Draco shifted his feet about some and just scowled at the floor trying his best to ignore everyone around him. Feeling an odd tensing in her chest as she stared at the blonde she realized with no small amount of shock that she felt bad for him, silently wishing her 'saving people thing' would just die already she motioned towards her cousin.

"Come on Draco you're helping me make breakfast, we have things to discuss and if you're half as good at cooking as you are at potions you'll do fine," looking at her in confusion he shifted his gaze to his mother who nodded slightly. Grunting in annoyance he followed Lilly out of the room as the rest of the buildings occupants entered it, she saw her dad was wearing an obnoxiously bright Hawaiian shirt complete with animated hula girls and spinning pineapples along with a pair of cargo shorts, she didn't want to know.

Draco sullenly followed behind Potter as she entered the kitchen, much to his surprise pots, pans and various ingredients began flying about the room without word or wand, she twitched a finger towards a record player that began playing some sort of heavy muggle music, he wasn't sure he liked it but the guitar caught his ear. Turning she noticed his interest, dumping some potatoes in the sink she started rinsing them as she said,

"AC/DC, Australian band, Dad, my parents, and Bellatrix all loved rock and roll so we've been breaking out their old collections as well as adding to them, I personally hate most wizarding music, it's usually a rip off of a muggle hit that had a few words changed so magicals can understand it. Gotta love the lack of copyright laws on our side of the fence, start peeling these please?" Not really having a reason to say no he followed her instructions and after a couple minutes asked,

"So why cook for yourself, why not have your house elf do it?" Pausing she smirked a moment before joining him in peeling the now rinsed spuds,

"Two answers, first I was basically treated like a house elf by my _family" _she spat the word as if it was a curse, "and one of my duties was cooking, believe it or not I thoroughly enjoyed it even though I was only allowed to eat the scraps my pig bastard of an uncle didn't finish." Draco was shocked at this revelation, everyone had heard that Harry Potter was raised as a prince by his relatives, that his poorly fitting clothing was just some attempt at him to garner more sympathy, this...

Not noticing Draco's reaction she continued. "Second reason, house elves aren't human, meaning they don't taste things the way that we do, they follow recipes just fine but there is no innovation in it, why the food at Hogwarts seems kind of bland after awhile, no variation. Me personally? I find life is too short to not experience everything to the fullest, be it food, fighting, fucking, or just having a nice lay in." With that she started dicing the potatoes while a skillet went flying across the room landing on the stove top adding oil to itself, Draco had to admit this was some rather impressive casting considering she wasn't even watching what she was doing.

"I'm...sorry to hear that your family treated you so poorly," she snorted and and stared at him with an appraising look, after a moment she gave him a small smile and nodded,

"Thanks, its...well not going to lie it's been fairly easy to disassociate my old life with the current one, being the broken, beaten, half starved hothead hero who passively took what the world gave him is not something I'm proud of. Between you and me I rather enjoy being a sexy political and financial Juggernaut that is constantly keeping everyone on their toes, its fun being the one pulling the strings for once, dunno if that's a good or a bad thing though." Draco took the pile of diced potatoes and tossed them into the pan, as they began to sizzle Lilly swooped over and added seasoning to them, she gestured towards the eggs and instructed him to prepare them. After a contemplative few minutes Draco spoke again,

"Honestly Lillith, it sounds to me like you're simply enjoying what was your birthright to begin with, being a pureblood head of house, I...have to admit you're pulling it off admirably." She stopped dead in her tracks and turned around to eye him suspiciously,

"I do believe that is the first time you've ever complemented me on...anything...thank you," she said this with a warm smile that caused Draco's stomach to flutter a bit, turning back quickly to the bowl of raw eggs he was scrambling he quickly replied,

"Not a problem, I've been doing a lot of self evaluation the past couple weeks, truth be told living with the Tonks' has been an eye opening experience, Ted he...well he has had me watching muggle documentaries, about their weapons and wars and...well...I don't think we'd stand a chance against them if we were ever found out. After I swallowed that bitter pill everything else kind of followed..." Lilly let out a musical laugh at that, Draco liked that laugh, wondering how to get her to do it again her reply was laced with good humor,

"Cousin you're going to love the toys Dad bought then, we have a dozen Soviet tanks in the garage as well as enough heavy ordinance to take out the Ministry building, anyway I just had an idea for a present for you...would you like your memories back? Would you like to know why you're so bloody terrified of me you can't look me in the eye?" His response was immediate,

"Please, if I had some sort of context I could at least try to get over it," nodding she walked up to him and took his head gently into her hands, her emerald gaze piercing into his silvery grey eyes,

"This is going to hurt, alot, Happy Christmas," with that what felt like a burning knife stabbed through his mind and after a few moments things began to clear, eventually he broke out into full on belly laughter that took him a few minutes to recover from. After he collected enough of his wits to speak he turned back to the ravenette who was currently frying what looked like two kilos of bacon,

"You bloody imperioused that toad to do what you wanted! Merlin you'd have made a good Slytherin," She sent him a self satisfied smirk at that one,

"Fun fact I've only told Hermione and Bellatrix, I was supposed to go into Slytherin, the hat was barely on my head for ten seconds before he told me as such," intrigued he asked,

"Why didn't you accept it?" Smirking she cocked her hip to the side while resting her free hand on it,

"Because I met you and I didn't want to deal with your pratitude for the next seven years," he blanched at that which caused her to laugh again, well there was that at least,

"I...I'm the reason the Boy-Who-Lived didn't end up in the house of the cunning? Bloody hell...please don't let that get out...life's difficult enough there with my families fall from grace," snorting she spun back to the bacon flipping it with practiced ease,

"Not a problem Little Dragon it's not something I advertise, same reason I kept quiet about my horrible relatives, don't want the extra baggage of the judgmental masses..." Her back suddenly went ramrod strait a moment later then she began giggling in a rather creepy manner, "Oh yeah, ok, figured out my Christmas present for myself." Knowing perfectly well he shouldn't reply to that his curiosity got the better of him,

"And that would be?" She turned to him her normally bright eyes darkening slightly as a cruel smirk curled up the side of her face,

"I'm going to go pay back my uncle for raping Harry when I was nine...nothing quite like a bit of Yuletide murder to kick off the new year, and I know just how to make it memorable too." Shivering at the uncharacteristically cold look on his cousins face Draco turned back to the now cooking eggs, in retrospect perhaps being made a Black wasn't a bad thing after all, better to be at the devils side rather then in her path.

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><p>Hermione would admit she was more then mildly shocked when Draco led Lilly into the dining room carrying multiple platters of steaming food, as the pair placed them on the table they both retreated back into the kitchen soon reappearing with jugs of orange juice and coffee. Lilly gave Draco a wink as she sat next to Hermione, feeling an irrational sense of jealousy she grabbed her girlfriends hand as the smirking ravenette called out,<p>

"Dobby, Winky, it's Christmas get over here and eat with us!" A loud *POP!* filled the room as the pair of chagrined elves sat next to their mistress, neither bothered with the outpouring of gratitude's that use to follow such offers, two months of etiquette courses with Andromeda had finally ironed out that rather annoying wrinkle. Leaning in to whisper to Lilly she asked,

"So what's going on with you and Draco?" Lilly, as brilliant, scheming, and generally terrifying as she tended to be had a genuine inability to notice such nuances as 'jealousy' grunted in response,

"Just let him know why I am the way I am, he's...changed since the beginning of the term, had his world view turned on its head, he's still hmm...unpleasant? Yeah we'll go with that, still a bit unpleasant but compared to how he use to be I'd almost consider him a real person, in so long as he stops greasing his hair back like that." Nearly chocking on her juice at that last bit Hermione scowled at Lilly who chuckled while giving her a winning smile, all right...maybe she was being irrational here, it was _Draco_ after all, although the occasional glances he shot the emerald eyed beauty looked less then platonic.

After the group devoured a terribly unhealthy but incredibly satisfying breakfast they stood and reentered the sitting room to open presents, Lilly looked about a bit then asked,

"Were's Ted by the way I'd have figured he'd show up too?" 'Dora responded to that looking very annoyed,

"Dad had to deal with some last minute details for a trial being forced through on Boxing day, he just found out the court date had been changed last night so he decided to sit this one out, trust me he isn't happy about it." Aunt Andromeda sat in between Narcissa and Bellatrix handing both her sisters small wrapped boxes as she continued for her daughter,

"The very first thing Amelia did when she took office was purge the ministry, we're talking within an hour of taking her oath, more then a few confirmed Death Eaters were arrested thanks in no small part to Bella pointing them out to Sirius. Trade off is they are all largely from affluent families and trying to worm their way out of a conviction, thankfully with the utter chaos the ministry is in right now the Minister is able to force a mass trial before the beginning of the new year bypassing quite a bit of red tape." Moony took a sip from his coffee while throwing his two knuts in,

"So since she's not playing ball with the up till recently accepted corruption all the soon to be convicted defendants allies can do is be annoying by changing the dates, unfortunately for them they're running out of days in the year and Minister Bones quite literally has no issues temporarily detaining anyone that will get in her way." Hermione watched Lilly's grin take on Cheshire cat levels of mirth as she let out a musical laugh,

"I love it when a plan comes together," raising her mug she toasted, "To obstinate woman and all the men too terrified to cross them!" The ladies in the room gave a hearty 'Hear hear!' while the men including Draco gave chagrined smiles, none of them were stupid enough to argue the point. With that the gift exchange began, Sirius had gotten both Lilly and Hermione jade green and sapphire blue motorbikes based off a Japanese design, Lilly's eyes had practically bugged out of her skull as she examined the flying crotch rockets from hell. Hermione was less excited then her girlfriend but she admitted that they certainly looked impressive.

Professor...right...just Remus had gotten them both enchanted biker jackets, pants, and helmets that matched their respective bikes, Hermione was...looking forward to seeing Lilly in the skin tight leather. 'Dora had offered to teach them both to ride as her present and both Granger parents had gotten the girls matching charm bracelets, all in all it was quite a nice group effort to spoil the pair of witches, Bellatrix had leaned in to whisper in her ear,

"When your parents showed me the bracelets I went to Cissy and we got them enchanted, the little charms will always point to each other so you'll always be able to find your way to each other!" Shocked at the thoughtfulness the normally unstable witch had shown Hermione unconsciously gave her a hug,

"Thanks Bella, that's...that's great, I worry about her a lot..." Bella patted her on the head then stood to go sit back with her sisters, Lilly had apparently gotten Sirius flea shampoo and a coupon for a free neutering, the man in question looked quite cross but the rest of the room was roaring with laughter. Remus opened his small gift and looked at the set of keys in confusion when Lilly explained,

"Those are keys to a lovely little cottage on the property near the manor, its yours and _NO_ whining about handouts, you're going to be a proper uncle, settle down, and give me many little cousins to spoil for the foreseeable future and you need to live near me for that to happen. So there, not like I can count on the mutt over there anyhow," Sirius let out an offended 'Oy!' as Remus looked at her in sad amusement,

"Your mum use to call him that all the time... use to bat him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper too...all right, since I'm taking care of Hermione's duties in the Wizengameot I guess it will be for the best if I'm close," 'Dora looked a bit miffed as she stared at Lilly who gave her a knowing smirk as she pulled a second set of keys from the bag at her feet and tossed them to her cousin whose hair flashed between pink and yellow,

"Didn't leave you out of this Tonks, keep him honest...ish...yeah honestish works, as it stands," she looked towards Dan and Emma, "I hired Gringott's to ward your home against...err...pretty much everything. Apparently the "complete" package they sell the average witch or wizard is actually about half of what they can actually do, but since they like me they agreed to give their all for those I listed, for a price of course." Hermione was impressed, getting the goblins to go the extra mile was more difficult then she was letting on,

"I know you dear, who else is getting the special treatment," grinning widely she hugged her brown eyed girlfriend lovingly,

"Aw, can't get anything by you, the Barrow was on the top of my list, also Longbottom, Bones, and the Greengrass manor's, a few of the other houses on the list are a bit more difficult but they're working on it, all in all every member of our DADA club should be warded by the end of the year." The magical adults present looked highly impressed at this but decided not to voice their opinions, this little project had to cost millions but it was obvious Lilly wanted it done and she _did_ have the resources for it.

Lilly stood and stretched extending her hand to Hermione to help her up, kissing her gently she whispered, "My present for you can wait for later, its kind of a bitch to drag a trunk around and this one can't be shrunk until its bound to you," intrigued Hermione nodded as she snaked her arm around Lilly's waist. The ravenette let out a tired sigh as she muttered, "Lets get this church thing over with..."

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><p>Church was thankfully not nearly as bad as Lilly thought it would be, apparently most of those in attendance were proper British atheists only paying lip service to the church of England for the holiday, this suited Lilly just fine considering she had no idea if just being here would annoy the Pagan goddess she'd essentially had to bribe into tutoring her to perform blood magic. After the service (that Hermione managed to get her to sing Christmas carols in...seriously she couldn't deny that woman anything) they'd gone back to Potter Manor to see that the Weasley's had shown up, after socializing with her favorite clan of gingers for a few hours she slinked off to her room with Hermione.<p>

Her girlfriend looked down at the beaten up trunk seemingly less then impressed, grinning Lilly released the knife from her left forearm holster and handed it to Hermione,

"Prick your finger tip and then smear the blood on the lock, that way only you can open it and shrink it, you can eventually authorize me but the owner has to be the first to seal herself to it." More then a bit intrigued Hermione followed her orders then popped the lid letting out a gasp seeing the ladder leading down, upon Lilly's insistence she walked down it quickly followed by the excited ravenette, turning around she gasped upon seeing what was before her.

As far as the eye could see were rows upon rows of book shelves each packed with tomes, the entire enclosed space smelt of leather, parchment, and age, turning to Lilly with a questioning gaze Lilly laughed a bit scratching the back of her head sheepishly. "So yeah, this is a copy of every book in the Slytherin, Potter, Black, and Malfoy libraries, apparently Cissy had planned on leaving Lucius since day one if able to so she had hand copied every book containing the Malfoy family magics in them. Fun little loophole that, anyway she gave me copies so honestly this is probably the most extensive library of magic in the entirety of Great Britain, Happy Christmas love."

Before she could say anything else she was tackled and pinned to the ground, Hermione stared down at her with a look of lust burning in her eyes, well...Happy Christmas for all.

It was early evening when Lilly was able to distangle herself from the happily sated witch beside her, freeing her arm she conjured a bed and gently placed her naked lover on it, throwing a blanket across her slight form Lilly dressed and made her way up the library's ladder. Quickly writing a note that she had something that had to be done tonight come up she placed it on the desk and headed to the armory, she sincerely doubted she'd need any of the gear that she'd pulled from her vaults but she felt it was better to be safe then sorry.

As she entered the room she stripped down to her knickers and walked to the armor lined wall, taking down the acid green basilisk leather bodysuit she slide it on while carefully activating its shielding, warming, cooling, and self cleaning runes. Getting the blackened silver chest and back plate in place without help was kind of a bitch but she really didn't want anyone else involved with this just yet, after a few minutes of looking like a complete idiot she finally found success. Sighing in annoyance she slipped on her usual green and silver war robes over the armor while she lamented the fact that all of her inherited gear showed off some cleavage, honestly her ancestors must of hired a man to design all this shit, pulling on a pair of heavy shoulder guards she clicked the accompanying black cape and cowl into their fasteners.

Reaching down she attached the rest of her armor which consisted of shin, thigh, and elbow guards all cast in the same enchanted blackened silver as her pauldrons and chest plate, finishing the set she slid on the heavy clawed gauntlet greaves that honestly just looked too badass not to wear. Pull the heavy cowl up over her head she let her hair hang loose outside its confines, walking to the rooms mirror she couldn't help but letting out a cackle that'd get double thumbs up from Bellatrix, she looked...

"I look sexy, powerful, and utterly terrifying...hehehe..." She was interrupted by a light cough, spinning around one of the swords on the wall flew into her hands without her even thinking about it, standing in the doorway was her dad looking oddly...amused.

"You do, that's the gear your mother wore into combat, it always miffed Prongs that she would wear Slytherin colors but she pointed out that wearing bright red on a battlefield was proven to be rather idiotic when we lost the colonies. So, other then wanting to look like the 'Witch King' there a reason you kitted yourself out?" She stared Sirius down which admittedly intimidated him a bit since all he could see through the cowl was shadows and a pair of glowing green eyes, eventually she sighed and pulled the cowl back.

"I'm going to take out Tom's final Horcrux, well outside of the snake anyway, and I'm finally going to get some closure using Vernon to do it...he needs to die...I've put it off too long..." Sirius returned her stare down for a few moments which was impressive considering his ridiculous attire until he eventually sighed. He walked up to Lilly and kissed her gently on the forehead, pulling her into a hug he brought his mouth to her ear and whispered,

"I personally feel there is nothing quite as cathartic as some well deserved vengeance, if half of what I've overheard you and Hermione talking about is true...well you've shown far more restraint then I'm capable of honey. Hate can keep you warm in the dark times, but don't let it burn you, when you get back and if you need to talk about it I'll be here," with that he let his war ready ward go and left the room leaving her speechless. Noticing the broadsword in her hand for the first time she retrieved its scabbard and attached it to her belt, why not go for broke at this point really, leaving the armory she pulled the cowl back up as she snuck out the back of the house and apparated to the surviving Dursley's home.

It didn't shock her in the slightest that Marge lived in a similar cookie cutter neighbor as her brother had, their family didn't exactly scream 'individual thinking', walking up to the front door she kicked it in while cheerfully yelling,

"Oh Vernon Dursley, trick or treat!" Marge was the first person she saw, she'd initially intended to let the horrible woman live but her mind locked onto the memory of the vile spinster ordering her dogs to maul a six year old Harry and then beating him a week later when said dogs got sick. She wasn't even really aware of her motions as the sword was drawn from its scabbard and she ran the bitch through, pulling the sword from her gut she spun around as Marge fell to her knees and decapitated her 'Aunt' with a flourish.

Looking up she saw a stunned Dudley stumble into the hall to see the headless corpse of his aunt pumping blood onto her cheap carpet, glaring at the boy she watched as he pissed himself as he finally registering the armored figured with the blood stained sword, prowling forward she glared at him with glowing eyes hungry for satisfaction. Grasping him by his thick throat she cast the levitation charm on her cousin silently as she lifted him and slammed him into the wall, speaking for the first time she growled out,

"Why not enjoy Harry's life little cousin? I'm sure it will prove...enlightening," and with that she shouted "Legilmens!" downloading Harry's entire life experiences sans magic into Dudley's brain Lilly let the boy go as blood began to run from his nose. Turning the corner she found Vernon desperately trying to shove shells into his shotgun, summoning the weapon to her hand she shrunk it and shoved it into her pocket for later, grinning she wiggled a pair of gauntleted fingers towards her rotund uncle while cooing "Imperius!"

The bane of her existence, the personification of everything wrong with humanity not just muggles froze and stared at her blankly, approaching him she snarled out, "You're my slave and you will do as I say, _but_ you will experience all you do while under my control, now for a dose of what your sons going through." Casting the same mental Harry bomb on her uncle that she did on Dudley she grasped Vernon by the arm and apparated to the other side of the isle in front of a dilapidated shack.

Grinning she whispered, "Open the door Dursley," obediently her slave approached the door and opened it with his left hand which immediately caught fire, she stared at it for a moment before putting it out, "Oopsie, guess I forgot about that one, my apologies my good man." Through her mental connection she could feel Vernon screaming in agony, it was the sweetest sound she had ever heard, guiding her blubbery charge forward she forced him to his knees on the dirt caked floor and ordered him to open the trap door in the corner. As the block of wood came free she felt his delicious agony as he was buffeted with multiple time delayed curse crystals, all containing the cruciatis, she'd have to tell Bellatrix about this she'd have a quite a laugh about it.

As Vernon convulsed his tortured mind screamed for release, cooing 'No' in his ear she forced him to dip his hand into the crawl space and remove a very tacky gold ring, letting nature take its course she cut the curse and the fat fucker put the ring on with a glassy lost look in his eyes. Screaming in agony as the compulsion charm and withering curse broke and entered his body he fell over twitching, grinning Lilly pulled her cowl back while casting a pain suppression charm on her uncle,

"Hello freak, it seems you've fallen onto hard times doesn't it? Tell me, was it worth violating your innocent nephew? Was it worth it to allow his beating, his starvation, his neglect, was it worth it to _rape_ an innocent child?!" He looked at her in fear and confusion, eventually he said,

"I only raped him once!" She really didn't remember the next few minutes, the only recollection was a screamed,

"CRUCIO! CRUCIO CRUCIO CRUCIO!" Eventually she realized Vernon was dead, and had been for awhile, recognizing her face was stained with tears and that she had fallen to her knees she shakily took to her feet and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. Taking several deep breaths she eventually glared down at the corpse at her feet and cast a cutting curse across Vernon's splayed out hand, she tore the ring from his severed finger and stared at it for a few moments before making her decision. She'd taken in enough of this foul power, the only reason she survived last time was because of her wonderful girlfriend, so she simply focused on the runic matrix and shattered it, letting the contained soul, knowledge, and power go where they may, she no longer cared.

Shortly after this action one Tom Riddle was at his desk enjoying a lonely Christmas, all his Christmas's had been lonely so he'd long learned to find ways to enjoy them, tonight happened to be crossword puzzle night so that's what he drowned himself in while his minions spent time with their families. Bobbing his head to the heavenly voice of Freddy Mercury coming from his record player he looked up in shock as a green light slammed into his face sending him flying, after a few minutes...hours? Hell it didn't matter, after a time he stood up and shakily walked into the washroom. Turning the facets the Dark Lord splashed water on his face trying to calm the his nerves down, the past few months had honestly been the weirdest in his fucking life.

Turning the faucet off he grabbed a towel and cleaned his face off, glancing into the mirror he froze in shock staring at the cold blue gaze reflected at him from the aristocratic brunette, brain locking up it took him several minutes to fully realize what he was looking at. Standing up strait he grinned at the image of his seventeen year old self while stating,

"Well, hello handsome, been awhile."

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><p><em><strong>My old computer died, I have a laptop now which makes writing ever so much more fun to write. Love where this story is heading, drama, angst, comedy, tragedy, the soviet war machine! Anyway, as always REVIEW!<strong>_


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